It's An ILLUSION, Michael!

Does anyone have like, a thousand dollars? Because I really, really, really need this.
It will practically pay for itself, COME ON!
















http://cgi.ebay.com/ARRESTED-DEVELOPMENT-AZTEC-TOMB-PROP-MAGIC-TRICK COA_W0QQitemZ4884361176QQcategoryZ18839QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Friday, May 26th

So I'm not sure how long this post is going to be; it's currently 2:00pm and I just woke up 30 minutes ago. Last night was awesome. Went to Wash Bar, with no problem, the guy looked at my ID for like, two seconds before giving it back to me. There was NOBODY there, we got there at like 9:30 to capitalize on the free beer before 10 o'clock thing, which turned out to be a myth. Actually, there was a sign in the bathroom that said ladies drink free until 10... stupid mean bartenders. We drank giant beers for $3.00 all night. Not as many people ended up showing up as usual, but I saw quite a few people there anyways. Some hahs from my high school were there. It was weird, even though I'm like 12, it seemed like it was more my domain than theirs.

So much fun. My brilliant insight into the world today after I woke up: "What does the inside of your nose smell like?!"

Didn't go to class today. Oops.

I can't say everything I want to say in this blog, but I guess just having high hopes for something isn't enough.

iMix:

1. "The New Workout Plan" - Kanye West

2. "The Nearness of You" - Norah Jones

3. "Summertime" - Mae

4. "Mine's not a High Horse" - The Shins

5. "Say Yes! To M!ch!gan!" - Sufjan Stevens

Thursday, May 25

AAAA! My nap today lasted less than 2 hours. Disaster. I realized just now that I sound like a grandma; telling anyone who will listen about my naps and how my toe hurts. My toe really does hurt though. I think I broke it, it's been like 3-4 weeks and I still can't bend it all the way. Bloody hell.

AAAAA! I did an image search in order to find a picture of a grandma to supplement what I wrote and in the results were quite a few pictures of old women in compromising positions and.... oh god, it's too horrible to go on. That effectively ruined the grandma reference for me. Shudder.
I randomly found an awesome blog...blogspot is such a great source for awesome.
http://jerslater.blogspot.com/
It's something about how to write screenplays, which isn't a topic that may necessarily interest you, but the dream sequences are hilarious... definitely worth a read.

Damnit, Carmen left me a hilarious IM about Bridget Jones having a laundry crisis, which is something that I have about 3 times daily... sorry Carmen, I copied it and closed the window, and then copied that other link and erased it. Shit.

Check this out:

Last night at Cannes, 20th Century FOX presented a stealth screening of the funniest, lewdest, coarsest and potentially most gigantic hit of the year.The title is “Borat,” and if this 88-minute comedy manages to get an R-rating, the world as we know it may never be the same.The e-mailed invite read:
Kazakhstan Ministry of Information
Present You Invite to special screening of:
BORATCULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA
FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATIONOF KAZAKHSTAN
Borat, of course, is the invention of comedian Sascha Baron Cohen, aka hip-hop interviewer "Ali G."

Oh jesus jesus jesus. I'm so excited. Hopefully it won't become a "Napoleon Dynamite" kind of thing with Fox licensing shit like t-shirts and pencil erasers with "Shinqueed" and "Yechshimesh" on them. But still, hell yeah. The article says that when making the Ali- G show, they went to areas of the States where HBO viewership was the lowest in order to mess with people. I guess the South is not so big on the Home Box Office.
"Welcome to zee gayest state in America: Alabama!!!"
If you've never seen Da Ali-G show, and more importantly, Borat, then watch this. You won't regret it.





If you like really obscure bands with female lead singers, download some Fiery Furnaces. They're good, in an odd way. Very listenable, if you're getting sick of the whole male vocalist indie thing.

And now for my new favorite thing to do:

iMix!

1. "Walking with a Ghost" - Tegan and Sara
2. "State of the Union" - Rise Against
3. "Luchini (This is It)" - Camp Lo
4. "The Radio Airwaves Gave Me a Lobotomy" - One Man Army
5. "Hip Hop" - Royce Da 59

Well, I'm going out tonight, send me good luck thought waves.
Peace out!

Wednesday, May 24th

I hate it when you have really high hopes for something and it doesn't come out exactly as you wanted. It would be so easy to just give up on some things but letting go is so hard, especially when it's someone/something you cared about.
"We Never Change" by Coldplay is on my iTunes and it's just feels so appropriate.
On a completely different note, isn't there something wrong when a friend who you've known for a long time hasn't spoken to you in like, 2 and 1/2 weeks over something stupid? So ridiculous.

What would happen if you lived your life by your music? I mean, really lived it, not just by saying you like this band, or you like that band. What if you let songs dictate your life? You couldn't really "live" your life because musicians would be telling you what to do.... It's just a thought.

I don't have anything really exciting to talk about today, oh, the "new" Rock Kills Kid cd came out on last Tuesday and I've had it for over a month now. I got it from some kid, I don't know how he had it. Hardcore. It's really good though, especially the song "Paralyzed", which I think I may have mentioned in a previous post.

I got really excited over "Of Angels and Angles" when it came on and so I stuck it in my slow-downer and am learning it on my guitar. Love it.

I had a dream about Nick Lachey last night and now I can't get that song of his out of my head.

Well, I'm gonna go play and then study for my Business Law class. Peace out.
Today's shuffle:
1. "Of Angels and Angles" - The Decemberists
2. "Heartbreaker" - The D4
3. "???" - Atmosphere
4. "The Corner" - Common
5. "Everything is Alright" - Motion City Soundtrack

Today's shuffle

The whole "song shuffle" thing was actually pretty fun; I think I'll do it again. This time I'm using my iTunes.

1. Straight Street - The Fiery Furnaces
2. Wreck of the Day - Anna Nalick
3. The Dream of Evan and Chan - DNTEL
4. The Pistol - Dead Prez
5. Paranoiattack - The Faint

Ah man...

Last night we watched ShopGirl, a movie based off of a book written by Steve Martin, starring himself and Claire Danes. I know what you're thinking... and no, it wasn't anything like "Cheaper by the Dozen II". It was actually an interesting look at lonliness and people's willingness to make connections out of nothing. Jason Schwartzman was hilarious, every time he was in a scene I cracked up. I was reading imdb and it said that Jimmy Fallon was originally up for the part. I couldn't see him in it... he's just too good looking to play a slob like Schwartzman's character.
"Congratulations. You've just been on a date with Jeremy."

So sleepy. Went to class today and wanted to die! Lately, I've been waking up each morning to my alarm, rolling over, and saying to myself, "this is not fair." It sucks. I get so tired during the day that I nap, and then I'm not tired when I go to bed, and I end up falling asleep at like, 1 and repeating it all over again. Today I forced myself not to nap... it was hard.
Hah, as I was just writing this, I spaced out and started tapping out the rhythm of the song that I was listening to on the keyboard... it was filled with d-d=d-=-0dodkdlk before I realized what I was doing. Damnit.

We're going to Hoots tonight to watch Nicole in the swimsuit competition. So ridiculous.

I fixed the comments section. Please leave something, you don't need a blogspot account to do it, just made sure you sign your name so I can see who has been here. :)

I'll leave a better post tomorrow when I'm not delirious!

Bye darlings.

Moon and Sun

Flashes bringing on
my open eyes to lightning storm
the touch of mist felt soft, felt warm
on my face

Sun Kil Moon - "Carry Me Ohio"

Such a great song. Download it.

Comments!

It has come to my attention that people who don't have a blogspot account can still leave comments on my posts. I would love it if anyone who reads this blog would leave a comment if they feel like it... I never know who is reading this thing. Seriously, feel free to comment. And by feel free I mean do it. Do it or else.

"To Me You Are a Work Of Art"

Ahhhhh... so sleepy. I got done taking an accounting test that I should have studied harder for; the test ended up being exactly like our practice tests and quizzes. Damnit. Oh well. This post might be kind of short because I only have like, 20, 25 minutes before I have to go to my business law class.

Can I just say that the movie review website "Pajiba" is just too awesome to be true? With reviews written by people who truly enjoy and know about movies, each movie is put under a microscope, to be poked and prodded until only the bare bones of it come out. (The tagline for the website is actually "Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People"). The reviews are usually pretty acrimonious unless the film being looked at is somewhat "indie fare", and is thereupon deemed to be "better" than your usual mainstream movie. Thruthfully, there are tons of websites devoted to the reviews of ordinary movies. I suppose that gives them license to be bitchy. Have you ever noticed that when you read a bad review, and you have really low expectations for a movie, it's usually better? I kind of like that. So I guess it's about time that people put together something that was a little more unusual. Seriously though, I aspire to be as good of a writer as even half of the reviewers... sigh...
http://www.Pajiba.com

So I was looking at BestWeekEver's website and there was this piece where they took their ipods and put them on shuffle... they took the first five and compared them to each other. I did that and I got:
1. "Signals Over the Air" - Thursday
2. "Stars and Boulevards" - Augustana
3. "God Loves Ugly" - Atmosphere
4. "My Friend Peter" - Alkaline Trio
5. "A Perfect Sonnet" - Bright Eyes

Eh. Not terrible. The best part is that #6 turned out to be "Sometimes" by Britney Spears. Hah, damnit.
The lists that they had were:

Bob:
“Poetic Retelling of the blah blah” - Bright Eyes
“Who He Is” - Bill Withers
“Like a Honeycomb” - British Sea Power
“Road Kill” - Pulp
“A Time To Be So Small” - Interpol

Paul:
“Jetsetter” - Morningwood
“Modern Love” - David Bowie
“Fade Together” - Franz Ferdinand
“Ask” - The Smiths
“Bathwater” - No Doubt

"Paul" is Paul Scheer, VH1's favorite gap-toothed comedian. You've seen him before. Trust me. The first list makes me feel like I don't know what I'm doing with music. I don't know like, three of those bands. Eh, oh well. I suppose I should go wander to my class. I'm out.

Why?!

"Paris Hilton's debut album has been put on hold again.The hotel heiress has decided that she wants to include a cover of Gnarls Barkley's Crazy on the CD, which means that the release date will be pushed back while the idea is discussed."It's just Paris's latest idea and because she shares a label with Gnarls, she thinks that it will all be a piece of cake," a source told the Daily Star."The chances of it happening are minute, but everything has to go on pause again while it's all discussed. That means the album won't now be out until about September. At first it was July, then August. It keeps nearly getting finished and then something else happens." "
God damnit. Seriously? Only Paris Hilton could ruin something as ridiculously awesome as the song "Crazy". There's no way that Dangermouse would let her use his beat. That is, unless, she shoved millions of dollars in his face or threatened to give him herpes. Well... actually, that's probably pretty likely.

Monkeys?

'Ello darlings,

Here's a three and a half minute video of British talking monkeys talking about retrieving lobsters out of a woman's asshole. I mean... where do people come up with this shit?!



Last night was, again, a shit show. We went over to Sam's friend's house and drank jungle juice and played flip cup. It is amazing how nice the weather is. Even without Ram Ride running, walking home isn't such a chore.


And now for some links, liberated from other sites. Eeeeeheheh.

So if I ever get a tattoo, I'm getting it of Clay Aiken. I swear to god, that guy is a major badass.
http://www.capohedz.com/typebrighter/2005/10/really-bad-tattoos.html
I'm totally kidding. I would only get that if someone paid me five million dollars. And by "Clay Aiken tattoo" they really meant "get nothing". That would be cool. Actually, he has like, legions of fans, which really baffles me. However, nothing compares to "Sorry 2004" by Ruben Studdard. Nothing.

It's amazing what dogs do just because they're dogs, and they... um, don't have anything better to do. Here's a video of a dalmation riding a bike. Bonus! It's all in Japanese!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6742988194956129075&q=dalmation

Oh my god, the picture in this link is so cute it's unbelievable. Baby chinchilla = cutest thing I've seen in the past 48-72 hours. Make sure you scroll down and look at the picture someone made. "ARGH! Son of God rodent! Son of God rodent! " Best part of the whole link.
http://www.empireonline.com/forum/tm.asp?m=527759

Alright, I'm off to do some nothing. Peace out.

Woo.

Today was a sad day. Upon reading something I had written on someone's wall on Facebook, I laughed to myself and muttered, "lol". I need to get out more.

What is it about those ads that are at the top of every webpage? "Help the Swimmer Outswim the Shark" "Help Bush Outknit Sadaam" (no joke) "Find the Momma Bear". They're so annoying yet everytime I see one I haven't seen before I really, really want to click it.

So the weekend is finally here! I got into the Business school after waiting like, a year to do so. I'm just so happy! It's such a good feeling. I'm going to party like a rockstar tonight.... Yesssss...

I'm out.

Ahahah

And Samuel L. Jackson as Principle Firebush

This little gem is hard NOT to watch. A new take on the ten commandments; here's 10 Things I Hate About Commandments.



Heeeeeeelarious!

:)

Darling Blog Readers,
You are awesome. Not just awesome. Awesomely sexy. That shirt looks amazing on you. Seriously, the color really suits your complexion and those pants make your butt look good. I'm glad you decided to venture over and read my posts. It makes me feel like a special girl.
I'm glad that (for at least a few of you reading this) you take a little time out of your day to read about whatever crazy thing is going on in my life. Looking at my hit counter has given me incentive to keep blogging, something which my attention span is struggling with. No, in all honesty, I do enjoy it. So um, thanks, and tip your waitress. I'll be here all night.

-- Whit Dizzle

PS: I got an A in Calc... business school here I come!

Where?!

Where the hell is my tiny Yoda?! He was sitting on my desk and now he's missing. There's a tiny Yoda shaped mark in the dust where he used to be. Maybe he ran off with my watch, because that's been missing for a while now. Shit. My room is an abyss... it's that messy.

I found an article that I kind of took offense to. It was entitled "Hot Girls: You Are NOT Dorks." I'm not saying I'm a hot girl, but I'm not saying I'm an ugly one either.

http://www.collegehumor.com/articles/1685416/

Read it for yourself. I mean, I do quote Monty Python and have seen it more than 10 times, I have my own blog, (but not website) that I'm dorky enough to update every day. However, I think J. J. Abrams is a fine enough director and has done a lot of my favorite T.V. shows but I never got into Star Trek. Oh well, I suppose I can be some weird hybrid and I'm ok with that. I just want my Yoda back.

Why do I always have Journey stuck in my head?

Ah man, just woke up from another nap. I guess that's how I roll now, getting little sleep in the night and lolling my eyes around in my Business law class until he lets us out. Fun summer so far.

So I read this on Egotastic:
"So, I was out on the town the other night, hanging out with a pal, and I noticed something. There was an inordinate number of girls wearing leggings. A lot of leopard print long shirts, and black leggings. I think I saw at least 20 girls in leggings, and one thing was true about all of them. They looked ridiculous.
I don't know who started this stupid trend, but I do know who popularised it. Celebrities like Lindsay Lohan and Sienna Miller have done nothing to improve the fashion sense of young women everywhere, by propogating this annoying trend. And now, Jessica Alba is making it worse.
Jessica Alba looks stupid wearing leggings. There I said it. The three-quarter length leggings are this year's Ugg boot, and are just as dumb. Why on earth would you want to go and ruin a perfectly cute dress, by wearing ugly black leggings underneath?
To all the girls who read this blog, stop wearing leggings. If you're doing it because you think the latest trends will impress us guys, you're wrong. We think it's dumb. "
It makes me wonder how long it will take until leggings get really popular here and I start wearing them, all the while hoping that no one will reference any of these posts and call me a hypocrite.
(I had a picture of Jessica to supplement this, but it was too big and wouldnt upload. You're going to have to imagine what she looks like in a polka dot dress and leggings. She's still hot, it's depressing.)

In news of the really, really fucking weird, Pete Doherty squirted some of his own blood out of a syringe at a MTV news crew while being interviewed. I mean, really? That guy probably has HIV twice. If you don't know who Pete Doherty is, he dated Kate Moss through her whole "Cocaine Kate" news blitz, and is in the English band "Babyshambles". Not only is he completely crazy, injecting himself and others with Heroin, but he is also a big time creep. He showed up at his last show in a wig, dress, tights and a red bra and performed entirely in drag (apparently after smoking crack rocks on the side of the stage). I'm finding it hard to care about this guy, (I guess because I'm not English or attracted to crazies) yet increasingly harder to look away.







This is one of many pictures of Mandy Moore in the most recent issue of Elle magazine. I guess she wants to be taken more seriously, and the way to do that is to look as emo as possible. But honestly, I freaking love her and think she's gorgeous.

Oh, so who wants to get a little scared? Apparently they have found the bubonic plague in mice in national parks in Utah and Colorado. Um... maybe Zombies shouldn't be #2 on my list of "what scares Whitney most"...

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/05/16/campground.plague.ap/index.html

Speaking of lists, I found the COOOOOLEST thing on Google. It's called Google Trend Lab and you can compare hits on trends on the internet. Apparently there are more hits on Tornadoes vs. Zombies (my two worst fears) but Paris Hilton is still more popular than Lindsay Lohan.

http://www.google.com/trends?q=Lindsay+Lohan%2C+Paris+Hilton

Well, I have to study for my Accounting quiz at some point here, so I guess I'll just go and watch 800 episodes of Friends until I get bored enough to do it.

Song of the day: "Hands" by Mrs. John Soda

I'm out.

REEEEEEEEE!

So I had written this huge post, filled with links and videos and what does my computer do? Freeze. It fucking froze, which it never does, and I lost the whole post. You'll have to excuse me if this one has less wit than usual, because I just woke up from a nap.

Anyways, I made the awful decision to forgo sleep for the next 4 weeks, because I have class at 7:30 am to 11:40am everyday. Remember when summer school was for "bad kids"? I think that subconsciously I'm punishing myself for being such a slacker every semester for this one. This semester should turn out ok, if my two desperate emails got through to my Calc teacher. I ended up getting a 89.4 in the class, and I'm worried he wont round it up to a 90. Shit! The good news is that my Macro teacher rounded my 79.9 up to an 80, so I'm moneycakes on that.

So, the two-hour Grey's Anatomy finale is on last night. Caroline and I were watching part one of it and screaming at the television. Do you think they account for that in the Neilson ratings? Screamability? I want to see the finale so bad tonight, but I don't want to be left hanging for the next few months. Someone is dying, I just don't know who. Speaking of television shows and um... dying, Lost has become an even bigger mindfuck than it was before. I can't believe that Michael shot Anna Lucia and Libby ended up dying. I really wanted to know what her backstory was, and why she was in the psychiatric hospital. I guess Michael has been brainwashed by the Others in fear that his son would be hurt. And of course, Sayeed is getting a bad vibe from Michael and doubts his story, but no one seems to be listening (like always). I think it's awesome that Locke and Eko are becoming friends, I always thought that Eko was a black Locke.
Oh, and it seems that everyone's favorite teen drama is being re-upped for a new season:
"Fox has renewed teen drama series The O.C. for a fourth season, the network confirmed on Friday.The news comes despite a downturn in ratings for its most recent season and a dispute between the network and the show's production company.O.C. creator Josh Schwartz previously promised a "major reinvention" if the show was recommissioned. "
A major reinvention?! Thank god, because that show was getting a tad boring. I only say a tad because Adam Brody is still in it. I swear, that guy could stand there reading the owner's manual for my vacuum cleaner and I'd still watch it for an hour every Thursday night. Let's hope for a reinvention... I'm actually excited to see them go to college. Of course, they'll have dorm rooms the size of my house and probably very little class time, but I'm sure it'll still make me feel good about my state school. Yeah.

Ha! I figured it out! Every time I went to this site that had this ridiculous flash cartoon, my computer would freeze. So, unfortunately, you don't get to see a guy with a mouthfull of crabs and hear what he would sound like, which, frankly, you should be dismayed about. Because it's awesome. And by awesome I mean something only I would like and everyone else would scoff at and say to themselves, "Whitney is fucking weird."

In music news, Sufjan Stevens is due to release 'The Avalanche' - an album of material leftover from the sessions for his 'Illinois' record.
"'Illinois' was originally conceived as a double album but, as the project developed, the album became a single. The left-over tracks have been collected together on 'The Avalanche', which is due to be released on July 26.The title track was originally intended to feature as a central part of the 'Illinois' album but appeared only as an extra track on the vinyl version.'The Avalanche' also features three versions of the track 'Chicago', 'Casimir Pulaski Day' and 'Pittsfield'."
That's pretty sick. Sufjan is weird but oddly good. Just the way I like it. Oh, if anyone has the chance, check out Matt Pond PA. They're so so so so so good.

Holy crap, I just found a gem of a video. I can't adequately describe this clip without giving away the awesome, so just watch it. You won't regret it.




Here's a video made by someone with an uncanny Liverpool accent. Maybe he's actually from England and that's why it's uncanny. It serves to explain the recent lawsuit concerning Apple and The Beatles which I decided I didn't have enough time to include a news link to because I'm not 50 years old and balding. But, if you enjoy gentle British sketch comedy and The Beatles, then this is for you.



Ok, that's enough for today. I'm out!

Smooth Criminals...

Last night we went to Ed and Andy's house for yet another Miller-High-Life-fueled 80's dance party. I wanted to go to the bars later, but since we just kept winning at beer pong, we stayed. Mich ended up getting drunk and doing the whole "high-pitched run around the house before throwing up thing" again, which is always severely entertaining. Mac and I ordered Elliot's Mess, which we had to race home to get, which involved me walking the sizeable distance back to our house in high heels with Mich and Caroline trailing 10 minutes behind while peeing in public places and straddling speed bumps. Yeah. It was one of those nights.

Mac is leaving tomorrow for his internship at the New York Stock Exchange. I'm gonna miss you, you fucker!!!


Earlier:
Caroline: "Don't post that picture of all of us!"
Me: "What?! Dude, I have to!"
Caroline: "Oh whatever, no one reads your blog anyways."

See this Caroline? Now this is happening.


Ok, here is a video, drunkenly made by Mich and I, on the perils of dancing to synth pop while intoxicated:



So.... I started this earlier but it is now 12:42 am and I have to sleep so that I can hang out with my momma tomorrow.

Much love.

Thursday night...

Last night was a shit show.

I'm not going to post a complete post right now, because I'm supposed to be showering and then am going to hang out with Mac and probably watch zombie movies or something ridiculous.

One love.