AAAAAAA!

I fucked it up, my template, and now I'm struggling to fix it. I'm a fucking disaster in html. I don't have time to fix it, but I will soon.... sorry darlings.

....

As you may have guessed from the lack of postings on my blog, I've run out of things to say. Not completely, just as of right now.

I'm going to change the color scheme on here, I just haven't decided to what yet. Black and white? Black with blue? I'm also trying to figure out how to but a banner up as my title... thingie. Does anyone know how to do that? Hopefully I'll have it figured out by the time you read this. More posting to come soon...

I'm Not Sure If That's What Rowboats Are For.

Sometimes I wonder if Lindsay Lohan realizes the crazy crap she does on a daily basis. I'm sure that in her head, "this blowjob scene will do wonders for my career," seemed really rational at the time, but come on. It's getting too easy. I'm just going to let the picture do all the speaking, because Lindsay's mouth is obviously too busy to do so.

Hooligans...

The other night we watched "Green Street Hooligans," and after getting past our initial hesitation because the word "hooligans" was in the title, we actually enjoyed it. It was a movie about a guy who gets wrongfully kicked out of Harvard two months shy of graduation. He picks up and goes to England, where his sister is living. He meets his brother-in-law's brother (would that still be his brother-in-law?) who is involved in a "firm" (which is really a gang) that suppports the West Ham United football team. The word "support" is used loosely here. Basically, they beat the shit out of other team's firms with no or very little reason. It gets alot more complicated than that, but I'm not going to ruin it for you. It was a really good movie and totally fed into this England obsession that I've got going lately. Anyone want to buy me a plane ticket?

...Bites the Dust...

I love how The Real World has begun to typecast their cast members. The flamboyant gay guy, and attractive muscled frat guy, the token back guy or girl, the hot girl, and the "one with all the problems." Apparently, not having eaten for two years will gain you a spot on the prestigious fishbowl that is MTV's most notorious reality show.

Paula from Key West, best known for her drunken outbursts ("KISS MY ASS") and toothpick arms has been arrested. Arrested for what, you ask? Biting her boyfriend. Yes, they busted her for biting someone. I think that when you're a pseudo-celebrity like the RW cast members always end up being, you should try to, erm, keep your teeth in your mouth, otherwise something small like this could end up on Yahoo News. That's just me though.

You Must Be This Tall... to DIE!

Last night we went to Potts to play beer pong, and Caroline and I forwent our usual stellar playing style in lieu of a shittier, less awesome one. In short... we sucked. Oh well, doesn't mean we still didn't get drunk and have a good time.

I have that fucking "Cool TAK" song stuck in my head. If you don't know who Tak is, go to YouTube and search him. I would post his awesome music video on here but the owner of it doesn't allow embedding and I don't feel like going back to look for the link. It's so much better to have stuck in your head than the "You Are a Pirate" song that I had up a few days ago. I had that song going around and around in my head for a good 4 hours on Sunday. Why? Because I watched it before I went to work. Cause it's that good. And I'm that fucking cool.

Ever wonder what the most common brand names dropped in rap songs are? Well get ready, because I'm going to tell you. Some people actually took the time to wade through the other lyrics to search for these things:

10. AK-47, 33 mentions
9. (tie) Cristal, 35 mentions
9. (tie) Louis Vuitton, 35 mentions
7. Chevrolet (really?), 40 mentions
6. Hennessy, 44 mentions
5. Rolls Royce, 46 mentions
4. Bentley, 51 mentions
3. Cadillac, 62 mentions
2. Nike, 63 mentions
1. Mercedes-Benz, 100 mentions

Interesting. Wonder how many times they dropped my name. Well, damnit, Whitney Houston's name, maybe. I'll never get out of that bitch's shadow! Actually, there's a Kanye song where he spells "W-h-i-t", which is exciting enough for me.

Think Snakes on a Plane is ridiculous? How about Sharks.... on a Rollercoaster?

Or....

The horror!!!!

"She's Got the Angles"

I'm devoting an entire post for this video because it's so, so, so good. I've had it on my MySpace for a while but it's just too awesome not to share.

MYSPACE: THE MOVIE

God bless the internet.

Pirates?

God, I can't believe it's Saturday and I didn't post at all yesterday; I was too busy with the napping and the presenting and the working and then the excessive drinking to be bothered to post. I wasn't in good form. Erm.... sorry.

So I saw Pirates of the Carribean on Thursday night (or Friday morning, whichever way you look at it) and I was decidedly torn when I left the theatre. It had action, yes, and it had drama, yes, but it was ...lacking... something, and I haven't decided what yet. All in all, though, it was entertaing, and I'm sure I'll see it again and most likely see the third. Who am I kidding? Of course I'll see the third. I'm too big of a dork not to.
I figure there's no use in writing up a huge review because a) I don't have the patience, and b) everyone and their mom is going to go see it anyways, so I suppose you can draw your own damned conclusions.

I haven't been getting very many hours at work lately, which would be alright if I smoked a lot of pot, but seeing as I don't, I'm trying to keep myself entertained. I don't have enough money to go anywhere or do anything because I'm not getting enough hours! Damnit. I've been drinking too much lately. It's burning through my savings but with no one home I always want to go somewhere else, and that always turns out to be a bar. Oh well. I could be doing crack. No one wants me doing crack, do they?!

And now for my favorite game: Make Fun of Lindsay Lohan!!!

This picture is pretty self explanitory. Outdoors. High kick. Put them together and you have number 7 on the list of "What Not to Do In Public" or, for that matter, "In a Bikini". And that's only number 7.

(I love how when I go through my folders to put pictures up I just have like 8 pictures of Lindsay Lohan looking stupid. What has my life been reduced to?!)

I'm going to leave you with this:

David: dude
David: on our night of drunken debauchery
David: we should do shots that are ON FIRE
David: that's how I roll
David: but seriously
David: lets do it
David: dont be a chiclet

And thus explains my life.

AD3?!

Yay! Arrested Development Season 3 is set to come out August 29th, which is fairly exciting even though I have most of the episodes on my computer. It's about time I heard "Mister F." echoing out of my t.v. again. God... I love that show.








I'll post a complete post about my pirate experience but now I have to go "give a presentation" which may or may not include me shaking, stuttering, and saying "um" far too many times... I, erm, don't really know my part of it. Damnit.

You Are A...???

So guess what I'm doing tonight? That's right:



You watch that video and see if you can tell. You just do it. DO IT! Yarrrr.

And this little nugget made me laugh so hard, if you read my post from yesterday, you'll enjoy this picture:

In case you hate me, and not watching the video might be your way of expressing that, I'm seeing Pirates of the Carribean at 12:20 tonight. Good thing I have a presentation tomorrow. Holy shit! My last day of class!!! YAAAAY!!!

Your Celebrity Gossip for Today...

I hope everyone had a splendid 4th of July!

Is a Lost movie in the works?
"Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof has revealed that he is considering making a film based on the hit television series.Concerned about pressures to prolong the show's success for as long as possible, the makers hope to focus on maintaining the quality of the series over a shorter period of time. Lindelof told WENN: "We'd love to end the show after four year, five years tops and do a movie." "
Holy crap, a Lost movie would be awesome! However, with the way that they leave the viewers hanging at the end of each episode, I don't know how much good a movie could do. Do they really expect to have 4 or 5 more years of cliffhangers and then a movie?! I think that's crazy talk.

Tyra Banks is apparently shunning Photoshop for her future photo spreads. She says that she will be "relying only on makeup and hair extensions." Um... isn't that still, like... cheating? If you're going to say no to retouching, shouldn't you say no to everything? I don't know if anyone saw a picture of her mustache, but it was frightening. Girlfriend needs to take care of that before she decides to go "Hollywood Au Naturale."



Lindsay Lohan somehow got Life & Style Magazine to foot the bill for her 20th birthday party -- 100 freakin' grand in all. They paid for the party in order to get "exclusive birthday photos" which seemed to include Lindsay looking high and eating a cake with her own face on it. I dunno, I mean, last year my 20th birthday included some of my friends standing around my kitchen and drinking beer. That was it. I love how it's her 20th birthday and she probably used it as an excuse to get wasted (not like she doesn't do that on days ending in "y" anyways.) I'm sure the L&S photographers who were following her around were thinking "God, get your tongue out of that guy's throat! ... Put that bottle down!.... Open your eyes!.... Jesus christ this is impossible."

Is it me or is Mischa Barton impossibly awkward? Whenever I see a picture of her, she is always hunched over, wearing the flattest shoes possible, and trying desperately to look sexy. I did a Google search to see what her height is, since she is always doing the "tall-girl-slouch". Each estimate ranged between 5'7" and 5'9"... which isn't that tall. I'm 5'8" and even though I'm sometimes the tallest girl in the room, I usually don't feel that gigantic.

ARGH!!!!! There is something wrong with Blogger's photo uploader, so no one can see all of my pictures of Lindsay eating her own face! Quelle tragedie. Oh well, if the uploader starts working, I'll throw the pictures back in there.

Yesterday was a blast! Mich and I didn't think that we were going to have anything to do, with all of our roomates out of town and all. We ended up bbqing beer brats with Adam and Aaron and casually drinking beers. Aaron introduced this game to us called "drug dealer" which was where a King, Ace, and a few other cards are dealt out. The King is the cop and the Ace is the dealer. The object of the game is for the drug dealer to look around the table and make a deal with one of the other players. If the dealer winks at the cop, they have to take a drink -- or, in our case, a swig of strawberry Pucker. Eugh. As more people started showing up to our house, we added a Narc (who also looks for the wink and can make a deal with the cop.) After playing drug dealer for a few hours and becoming quite intoxicated, we decided to walk to Wendys and ate there. We finally made it to City Park around 8:45 or 9, where we sat and enjoyed the fireworks. Since Mich and I had been drinking for around 8 or 9 hours, we decided to make it an early night. I forgot my camera so I couldn't take any pictures, but I assure you, they would have been good.

Hrmph.

Ok. Here it is... the long ass post you've been waiting for:

There was something on B3ta.com about how Hugo Boss designed and made uniforms for the Nazis during WWII. That's insane. It also said that they probably used forced labor. Could you imagine? Actually.... that's probably no different from the overseas labor who make shirts in sweatshops. Bah. I guess they checked it out on Wikipedia, and it said he rumor is true. Who knew?

I love Wikipedia... I've been doing random searches on shit, like Nick Drake's life story. It's interesting the wealth of information you can find that other people know. I felt kind of stupid --(well, maybe I shouldn't have, seeing as I'm not english) -- I was listening to the newer Streets record and couldn't figure what "pranging out" meant. I looked it up in Urban Dictionary and it said that it was what we would call "freaking out" or, (in the context that he uses it) wigging out on coke. So now you know. Prang away, buggers.

So I wrote a post a while back about a blog called "How To Write Screenplays. Badly." Not only does this site have slightly more relevance to me now that I'm supposed to writing a brillant screenplay for David to direct, (daunting, so daunting) but it's just damned funny. Check out this excerpt from a section on following up after you send out a script.

"MR. X:(speaking to someone else) Marla? Did any scripts come in from a...a Slater?
(listens)
Oh God, seriously? It's that guy?
(into phone)
Hey, are you the guy who used a magic marker to draw a cartoon bear on the cover...?
ME: ...raping, yeah. That's kind of what he does.
MR. X: (muffled laughter, followed by several seconds of excited whispering)
Mr. Slater? You're on speakerphone. Could you please tell us all a little more about, um, your unique concept?
ME: You mean Rapebear, the bear that rapes?

Oh my god, it is uproariously funny. I love it. Here's the rest of the post:
http://jerslater.blogspot.com/2006/06/on-follow-up-calls.html

Whoa. You know when grandpas spend months building ships in bottles? What if you could squeeze a cat in there. It might look like this:




Yet another thing from B3ta: a joke.

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed."
"Oh NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion???"

Hahaha... good stuff. I'm excited for the 4th... well... no one is really in town. So we'll see how that goes. Hopefully I'll have pictures to post of shiny things and... stuff.

I got my hair cut and colored today! It was the first time in my life that I had ever dyed my hair. It's only a shade darker but I really, really like it. Yay.

Fuck! I keep trying to post pics of it and it's not happening. I'll post some later, I guess.

Nighty.

Oh, and also... 519 views as of 1:45am Tuesday! Woo hoo!

Poor Bloggie...

This little gem is what I found waiting for me on my instant messenger this morning:

"Mac: what happens when people don't update their blogs as much as they used too? Do all blogs go to heaven?"

So classic! And to answer your question, Mac, no. Not this bloggie.

The Devil Wears...

My roomates and I just got back from seeing The Devil Wears Prada. It was sort of disastrous, with Mich not getting off of work until 25 minutes after the movie had started. As a result, we had to sit in the front row. My neck hurts from tilting it while watching blobbie thingies talk about Oscar De la Renta and Gucci. I seriously felt like I listened to the whole movie instead of watching it. Oh well, it was cute. I just finished the book a few days ago, and the movie wrapped itself up much nicer than the book did. I guess that's Hollywood for you!

This weekend was D Money's birthday... I had so much fun! I couldn't believe how awesome bar hopping was... we went to quite a few places. It was a really good time.

I'm pretty tired from being too ridiculous this weekend so I'm going to make this a short post. I'll post something longer tomorrow!

Do You Have the 'Scoop'?

'ello darlings.

So I was watching movie trailers, which is something I do often, and I realized that doing so always makes me mad. Why? Because I watch them and get all excited and then realize that they don't come out for weeks upon weeks, or months upon months... which, as it turns out, is very distressing. Anyways, I was watching the tailer for the new Woody Allen/Scarlett Johanssen/ Hugh Jackman movie and I have to say, it looks interesting. I'm not what you might call a "Woody Allen Film Buff", persay, but my interest in his movies was piqued by Match Point. I'll have to say, he knows what he's doing. Scarlett Johannsen, however, leaves something to be desired. I know that she's unconventionally beautiful and has great boobs, but her intonation and expression kind of irks me. She can carry a movie, sure, but can a movie carry her?
Scoop's plot is kind of odd. It's about a young college student who happens upon a ghost (I know) who says he has the "scoop of the century" for her: he knows the identity of a serial killer and wants her to figure out how to catch the guy. She ends up falling in love with the guy who she presumes to be the killer, blah blah blah... watch the trailer. It'll do a better job.




This is a trailer for the new (and by new I mean "Fall freaking '06") Zach Braff movie. I love him, I don't care what anyone thinks. He has the most impeccable comedic timing... "Scrubs" is a thing of beauty sometimes. It never fails to make me belly laugh... well, most things make me laugh like that. But ya know. Yeah. My male readers may not be sold on this movie but I sure am.




Well, I'm going to leave this as a relatively short post, because I haven't gone grocery shopping in weeks and I don't have any food, which has left me light headed and unable to write. Diet V8 Splash for lunch?! I think so!!!

Listening to Say Anything - "Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too"

Oh, and I'm really serious about downloading that "Backyard Betty" song by Spank Rock. It's got the most ridiculous beat... I love it.

MY EYES! MYYYY EYES!

Ok, ok, so it's not that bad. I just got back from a trip to the eye doctor because my contacts had gotten so bad that I couldn't really see far away anymore. I forgot they were going to dilate my eyes and now I can't see. I felt like an idiot walking into the gas station with my sunglasses on, like I was a movie star or something... Now I can't really see close up, so if there are any typos, I'm sorry, for I simply cannot see.

I'm currently sitting on hold with Cingular, trying to get a new Razr. Mine makes this annoying clicking noise in the earpiece (similar to when your phone is by your speakers and it makes that na-na-na-na-naaaaaaa noise) and I want to get a new one before the warranty is up. I think they make the hold music this annoying on purpose... it's the same loop of some easy listening guitar music over... and over.... and over... AND OVERRR! Oh! They picked up... and put me on hold again. Now it's piano music, much more soothing. Shit, now I have to call my dad and get his social and then call them back. Argh. This is ridiculous.

Anyhoo... I watched the trailer for "A Scanner Darkly" the other day and it looks so good! I can't wait for it to come out. I remember seeing a trailer for it forever ago.



If ya wanna check it out... It's pretty sick.

I was going to post the video of me dancing at the Sundance but it is FAR too embarassing, so it's not happening. Sorry kids. Well ... I have to work tonight for just a few hours and then apparently it's trivia at Pott's. Hmm. This whole not spending money thing is not working out.

Country Music Makes Me Want to Dance!

So we went to Sundance (again) Tuesday night. What I didn't realize before (because I was already drunk before I got there) was that beers are 25 cents and double mixed drinks are 50 cents. Like... are you keeeding me?! It was awesome. I had about 3 beers and went to get a mixed drink, and when I came back with my drink everyone informed me that the specials were about to end and that I should get more beer, for good measure. Ed and I went and got more, him holding three, and me holding two, all for ourselves. Needless to say, I line danced. And when I say that I line danced, I mean I watched other people more sober than myself and mimicked their moves about a second behind, so that I was always facing the wrong direction. It was embarassing. However, it didn't seem to stop me...

Bleah!

I'm getting really, really fed up with everything I'm doing lately. I'm working; but I'm not all too sure I like my job. I'm in class; but I KNOW I hate it. I've been going out a lot lately, but it's getting kind of ridiculous, spending all this money and sleeping my entire day away because I've been getting so hungover. I need to get my shit together. I just don't have anything to do sometimes, with my roomates working and everything. Drinking usually seems like the logical option. Which in itself seems really, really ridiculous.

... I can't wait for New York ...

444 -- The Mark of...the Beast?

I was looking at my page and I saw that I had 444 views. It made me giggle, although I'm not really sure why. However, none of you will ever get to see it, because I was the only one, but share the moment with me. It was a good one.

Good Bloggie loves you.

And the Picklessssss!!!

This little gem is courtesy of my friend David, who never fails to amaze me with the random shit he finds on the Internet.



Enjoy. Seriously. You will.