Creed Thoughts

If you watched the season finale of The Office the other day, you will be familiar with "Creed Thoughts" -- Creed's "blog" that is really a word document. I was hoping they would post it online, and they did! It's the actual one they had on the show. I guess the computers on the set all have internet access, and most of them keep blogs. However, nothing matched the insanity that is Creed's blog.

"I got into a car accident yesterday and I just took off. It didn’t look too bad. The guy was making a big deal out of it, but come on – dogs don’t live forever."

Huh?!

Do you remember when Nicholas Cage was a respected actor? I seem to remember him being pretty good back in the day -- then he went and did movies like Ghost Rider and Next.

Oh, and there's this:



Didn't think anyone would see it, did you Mr. Cage?!

LAMB PANDA!

The Lamb Dressed in Panda's Clothing

"You've heard of mutton dressed as lamb - but here's lamb dressed as panda.
The astonishing black-eyed markings on the youngster made it top of the flock as it gambolled with its newborn playmates. "

It's adorable, I know, and who doesn't like lambpandas?! Apparently this guy, as he was the most unintentionally funny part of the article:

"Baa... See you on my plate."

- Alan, Warrington, England

Hahahahahahhah.

Euuughhh

While perusing ShopBop.com, I came across this unfortunate soul. How the hell is this:

Supposed to make me want to buy clothes?!

I mean, I really dig the recently-punched-in-the-face-just-got-done-throwing-up-I'm-so-bored look. Really. I'm going to go right out and spend $329 on this Marc Jacobs dress just because of it.

Get Your Freak On... Or Something

I was worried I wouldn't have anything to write about today, seeing as it has been fairly uneventful so far. However, I was reading Best Week Ever's blog, and saw this little gem:

Was Zach Galifianakis Thrown Out Of Ellen’s Audience For Refusing To Do Her Silly Little Dance?

Anyone who’s familiar with the bearded comedic stylings of Zach Galifianakis knows that’s he an unpredictable fellow, often wont to show up in the funniest of situations, in the strangest of places. Take, for example, the video below in which Zach is nestled among a sea of super-excited soccer moms in the audience at a taping of Ellen, and as the show producers encourage the crowd to do their crazy “funtime party dance”, Zach just claps uncomfortably. While the video ends prior to the incident’s ultimate conclustion, members of the A Special Thing comedy board claim that Zach was removed from the premises due either to a) his beard, or b) to his unwillingness to have a little fun today. Is the crowd dance party at Ellen really the fun, carefree environment we see every day on the show, or is there a dark, fascist underbelly of forced enthusiasm lurking just below the surface? We may never know…



UPDATE FROM ZACH HIMSELF: The story is that Ellen was watching me in her dressing room - and asked security if I looked weird or suspicious or something like that. My friend who works on the show overheard her and told Ms. Degeneris that I was a friendly - there is a little more to the story but I will keep that secret. But I was not at all asked to leave. If you do not dance with the creeps you are seen as a creep.

It's just so funny the way he hesitantly claps his hands while the rest of the strange, strange white people dance around like they know Mary J. personally. I mean, honestly, I'm all about having a little fun, but this exposed a darker side of Ellen.
Ok, not really, but they still look stupid.

I don't feel good. I'm all sick and tired and haven't gotten any sleep. Poor, poor me.

I guess tomorrow we're going to the Rockies game, and I'm expected to go, not drink, and drive home. Actually, after putting that down, I'm not sure why I'm going. Hrm.

This isn't turning out to be the summer I thought it would be.

Cats + Tape = :)

Damnit. I can't believe I'm posting this. I love cats, don't get me wrong, but this video was way, way, way too funny not to post.

JACKIE!

This video will make your head explode -- from laughter or otherwise. I'm not sure. Kind of like my good looks. Wait, what?

Another Good Song

After reading a comment on yesterday's post, I realized that I did a fairly pathetic job of setting up the video before you all watched it.
"I struggled mightily taking that video and song even remotely serious. The guy reminded me of a character on a kids tv show, like the doodlebops or something."
Thanks for the brutal honesty, Tyler. After watching it again, I realized that I was probably the only person who looked past the ridiculous video, just because the language made sense to me. This is yet another peril of posting things that I think are relevant - often times, they really aren't, and I look silly. No one likes to look silly.

Oh! Yeah, my point was that if you want to comment, do it. I check for comments all the time and no one seems to have anything to say. Le sigh.

This is a fun little game that Mark sent me: save the bunny before it dies. I did it on the first try. See how you do.
http://www.10mg.nl/
See, Mark? If you had your own blog, you could post it, but since you don't, I'm stealing it. Muaahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa.

There isn't anything really exciting to post today... I was going to post this terrifying (yet slightly entertaining) video of a little kid getting owned by a breakdancer, but I couldn't bring myself to actually search for and post it, so if you're a sadist, or just bored, search it on YouTube. I have standards, you know. They're low, but they're still there.

I'm pretty sure I wrote this in another post, but the Geico Fucking Cavemen are getting their own sitcom. I'm not joking. It's going to be on ABC (way to get yourselves out of a ratings slump... at least it's not Brothers & Sisters. Blech. And it's no National Fucking Bingo Night, either). Who's going to watch it?! It's not like telling the same story over and over again -- this show probably won't get more believeable or funny the more you watch it.
Actually, check back in 6 months, because there's a good chance I'll watch it and pretend this post never happened. Oh, the hypocrisy of Good Bloggie.

Lost is tonight -- only one more episode until the season finale! Eeeee! Then we'll have to wait until February to watch the fourth season. If you're into it, an incredible site to check is Lostpedia. The thing has all sorts of little connections and translations. It's worth checking out; I spent like 30 minutes on it this morning before I slapped myself and went back to work.

I'll leave you with a kick ass song -- "Bright Young Thing" by Albert Hammond Jr.
(Let me preface it by letting you know that the song doesn't seem to have an official video -- this one is scenes from Requiem for A Dream spliced together. It actually works well.)

Qui de Nous Deux

After being assigned a fairly mindless task today at work, I decided I wanted to listen to something other than all the songs I have on my computer or my iPod. I went to yahoo.fr, Yahoo's french sister site, and went to the radio section. To my suprise, almost all of the artists featured were american... I finally found an "in french" station only, and came across this song -- I love it already:



It's worth a listen even if you don't speak the language.

Experiment.

Everyone reading Good Bloggie probably knows that Colorado isn't the coolest place there is. Sure, it's beautiful and the people are healthy, and there are certainly worse places to live, but you don't really notice how behind you are in relation to the coasts until you have something to measure. A while ago, while reading one of my favorite music blogs based in New York City, one of the writers mentioned this song as being played on every station at night:



I actually wrote a post on it a few weeks back, but that was still when people didn't seem to know about it. As I was going through some of my music here at work, I realized that it would be a pretty accurate gauge of the speed it takes popular music to reach Fort Collins, something that I actually found to be slightly sad. I downloaded the song from the site on April 2nd, and first heard it on the radio on April 29th. (I listen to the pop station here in town simply because I enjoy trashy top-40... honestly, who doesn't?! ) The first time I actually heard the song outside of my car was at Wash Bar, on the 4th of May. I didn't hear it again until this Friday at Zydeco's. It took that particular song one month to reach our town.

The arrival of other songs are probably the same, but I always thought the ones created by artists that are more widely known would have a better chance of making it into public favor faster. Interestingly enough, I downloaded "Way I Are" by Timbaland on the same date and had yet to hear it until later than the first song I mentioned -- it could be because it isn't the current single, and Timbaland's name doesn't carry as much weight as, say, Justin Timberlake's. Still, the song's awesome, and easily the best on the record, and if even I were a DJ in a podunk white people town like FoCo, I'd throw it on for sure.

That's why I love the internet: the immediacy. Someone will post a song and you will be able to listen to it then and there instead of waiting for some 35-year-old Clear Channel DJ to decide he likes it.

Actually, that brings me to another topic. I hold radio stations in very, very low esteem. I could go on for hours over what is wrong with them, but I won't... I was listening to Kiis FM one evening while driving over to a friends house and was pretty appalled at a) what the station was getting away with and b) what people were dumb enough to do on the radio. Apparently, they had found couples who knew their spouses were cheating on them and actually convinced these people to let the DJs call and confront them. Not only is it the most passive way to do something (aside from cheating on someone, which is even more passive), but I felt that these people were ridiculous for airing their dirty laundry into the ears of hundreds of listeners. (I know it may sound hypocritical, having a public blog and all, but when I air my dirty laundry, I attempt to do it in the most cryptic way possible.) I mean, if your husband is cheating on you and you know, don't get someone else to call and publicly humiliate both yourself and him.

Alright, that got way off track, but still. Because you let me stand on my soapbox, I'll reward you with this video -- "Nora", the piano-playing cat on Conan. I cried I laughed so hard.

DANZING!

Um... this is probably the most kick ass thing I've seen in a week:



I guess there's some sort of songwriting contest sponsored by Eurovision, and this is the favorite to win it.
Seriously? Freaking awesome. I'll vote for shiny drag queens who sing in German any day.

God, this weekend was a doozy -- I went out Wednesda-Saturday. Each night was a shit show, except for Saturday, when we actually couldn't compel our bodies to accept that much alcohol. I still, however, got an entire beer spilled on my leg and a tequila shot spilled on my foot, so I think I may have gotten drunk through osmosis.

I started my 7:30 a.m. class (steady yourself for the complaining for the next 4 weeks) and I'm sooooooooooooooo tired. Bah, I'm just exhausted from this weekend. I've been really sick lately and I think I may have had a fever last night. I kept waking up all delusional and hot, neither of which is okay with me.

I'm going to have a lot more time to blog now because I've committed myself to working until 5 every day. Why? I don't know. I'll enjoy being rich for the 5 seconds before I go to the bar and buy my friends drinks they don't need, though.

I've just completely lost my focus when I go to work. Meh. I better get back to it. I'll try and post some more stuff soon though.

Laser Cats!

I don't know if I've just been at work for too long, but this is probably the funniest thing I've seen since... I dunno, last Thursday.

SNL Digital Shorts - Laser Cats
It might be the guy carrying around a cat, or the tinfoil taped to the walls, but the damn thing reeks with awesomeness.

Get It

Lately I haven't been writing long posts because the only time I have time to actually make a post is at work. Whenever I do, however, I am wracked (well, tinged maybe) with guilt over the fact that I'm supposed to be working. So... um... yes. Sorry.

Here's a video for a sweet song called "Get it Shawty". I know what you're thinking. Shut up.

It's actually better if you just listen to the song and don't watch the video, strangely enough.

The Aluminum Falcon

Ok, this is pretty hilarious.

Panda Bear!?

After dicking around on the internet for like, two hours this morning instead of working (something that's kind of biting me in the ass right now), I came across this video:


Panda Demands Abortion

Gotta love The Onion

"If the Cold Doesn't Kill Her, Money Will..."

Recently Mark and I watched the Science of Sleep. Because I've been watching french movies all semester, I've gotten very used to the style that most european directors seem to use (whereas Mark didn't seem to care for it). I liked it, just because I have (once again) gotten the itch to listen to (or watch) all things english/scottish/french/or spanish. The main actress in the movie is played by Charlotte Gainsbourg, who just released an album, called "5:55". I haven't been able to stop listening to it on MySpace... especially the tracks that are in French. The coolest part about the album is that it was produced entirely by Air -- so the whole thing has their unmistakably light, breathy sound.

"The Songs That We Sing"

Oooo.

This is the new video for The Shins' new single, "Australia"... I could not stop laughing at the guy dressed as a bush. So good.

"You Just Fucked With the Wrong Mexican"

Holy shit. This is so awesome:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0985694/

Machete is being made into a movie. I hope it actually happens.

Here Fishy, Fishy...

Lately my roomates and I have been in a prank war with a few guy friends of ours. It all started when Michelle, Caroline and Kim stole this 2-foot ceramic elephant from our friend Joe and Colin's house. We kept it hostage in our furnace room with its feet tied, its mouth gagged, and its eyes blindfolded. We took a picture, made a ransom note out of cut-up US Weeklys, and attached them to a rock. Caroline and I snuck into their house, put the note and picture where the elephant used to be, opened the blinds, and left. The boys didn't come home for a while, and our friends Brittany and Emily live almost next door, so we went and hung out there. Just as we were driving away, the boys came home from the Rio so we decided to turn around, park, and watch their reaction. As we were crouched outside their window, laughing giddily at their screams of anguish, one of them yelled, "guys! The blinds! They're outside!". Not being the best planners, she and I were wearing slippers and flip flops. Joe and Colin ran after us and caught us before we could make it to the car. They told us that we had better bring the elephant back, so we went to our house, stuffed a bag full of shopping bags, left it on their porch and knocked. If I had been standing there when they opened the door, I would have gotten a face full of water balloons.

It took them 2 hours to come up with a plan for revenge. They decided to regress back to junior high and TP our house and saran wrap our cars. They planned the whole thing out beautifully (if you can call it that), but the only thing they didn't count on was Burt coming home in the middle of it. Just as they started on my car, she pulled up with her friend, got out, and yelled, "busted!" The boys didn't know what to do, so they decided to grab her, hold her hostage in exchange for the elephant. Needless to say, they got their damned elephant back, and we were at a disadvantage.

When we were discussing what to do to them in order to get them back, we decided we didn't want to do anything too malicious, lest they get us back in an equally mean manner. We decided that we would buy 100 goldfish, put them in their bathtubs and sinks, and hide the elephant so they would think we took it again. We snuck in while they were at their flag football game, caused a little bit of a ruckus, and snuck out again. Caroline taped us doing everything on Kade's video camera so that they would know the work we did in order to mess with them. We then went to their game for a few minutes, silently gloating over the fact that they had no clue we had been in their house.

About an hour later, we hear a car pull up to our house but don't see anyone. Caroline gets a text message a few minutes later that says "check your doorstep". We open the door and don't see anyone, sure that they are bluffing and wary about being bombed by water balloons. We then realize that they had put all 100 goldfish in our milk cooler and left -- leaving us to deal with them.

Because of last night, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be reincarnated as a goldfish... damnit.

Good Kitty.

Holy crap... this is the smartest (?) cat I've ever heard of!

Mystery Cat Takes Regular Bus to the Shops

Bus drivers have nicknamed a white cat Macavity after it has started using the No 331 several mornings a week.
The feline, which has a purple collar, gets onto the busy Walsall to Wolverhampton bus at the same stop most mornings - he then jumps off at the next stop 400m down the road, near a fish and chip shop.

The cat was nicknamed Macavity after the mystery cat in T.S Elliot's poem. He gets on the bus in front of a row of 1950s semi-detached houses and jumps off at a row of shops down the road which include a fish and chip shop.
Driver Bill Khunkhun, 49, who first saw the cat jumping from the bus in January, said: "It is really odd, the first time I saw the cat jumping off the bus with a group of passengers. I hadn't seen it get on which was a bit confusing.
"The next day I pulled up on Churchill Road to let a couple of passengers on. As soon as I opened the doors the cat ran towards the bus, jumped on and ran under one of the seats, I don't think any of the passengers noticed.
"Because I had seen it jump off the day before I carried on driving and sure enough when I stopped just down the road he jumped off - I don't know why he would catch the bus but he seems to like it. I told some of the other drivers on this route and they have seen him too."
Since January, when the cat first caught the bus he has done it two or three times a week and always gets on and off at the same stops.
Passenger, Paul Brennan, 19, who catches the 331 to work, said: "I first noticed the cat a few weeks ago. At first I thought it had been accompanied by its owner but after the first stop it became quite clear he was on his own.
"He sat at the front of the bus, waited patiently for the next stop and then got off. It was was quite strange at first but now it just seems normal. I suppose he is the perfect passenger really - he sits quietly, minds his own business and then gets off."

That's freaking awesome.