Why do I always have Journey stuck in my head?

Ah man, just woke up from another nap. I guess that's how I roll now, getting little sleep in the night and lolling my eyes around in my Business law class until he lets us out. Fun summer so far.

So I read this on Egotastic:
"So, I was out on the town the other night, hanging out with a pal, and I noticed something. There was an inordinate number of girls wearing leggings. A lot of leopard print long shirts, and black leggings. I think I saw at least 20 girls in leggings, and one thing was true about all of them. They looked ridiculous.
I don't know who started this stupid trend, but I do know who popularised it. Celebrities like Lindsay Lohan and Sienna Miller have done nothing to improve the fashion sense of young women everywhere, by propogating this annoying trend. And now, Jessica Alba is making it worse.
Jessica Alba looks stupid wearing leggings. There I said it. The three-quarter length leggings are this year's Ugg boot, and are just as dumb. Why on earth would you want to go and ruin a perfectly cute dress, by wearing ugly black leggings underneath?
To all the girls who read this blog, stop wearing leggings. If you're doing it because you think the latest trends will impress us guys, you're wrong. We think it's dumb. "
It makes me wonder how long it will take until leggings get really popular here and I start wearing them, all the while hoping that no one will reference any of these posts and call me a hypocrite.
(I had a picture of Jessica to supplement this, but it was too big and wouldnt upload. You're going to have to imagine what she looks like in a polka dot dress and leggings. She's still hot, it's depressing.)

In news of the really, really fucking weird, Pete Doherty squirted some of his own blood out of a syringe at a MTV news crew while being interviewed. I mean, really? That guy probably has HIV twice. If you don't know who Pete Doherty is, he dated Kate Moss through her whole "Cocaine Kate" news blitz, and is in the English band "Babyshambles". Not only is he completely crazy, injecting himself and others with Heroin, but he is also a big time creep. He showed up at his last show in a wig, dress, tights and a red bra and performed entirely in drag (apparently after smoking crack rocks on the side of the stage). I'm finding it hard to care about this guy, (I guess because I'm not English or attracted to crazies) yet increasingly harder to look away.







This is one of many pictures of Mandy Moore in the most recent issue of Elle magazine. I guess she wants to be taken more seriously, and the way to do that is to look as emo as possible. But honestly, I freaking love her and think she's gorgeous.

Oh, so who wants to get a little scared? Apparently they have found the bubonic plague in mice in national parks in Utah and Colorado. Um... maybe Zombies shouldn't be #2 on my list of "what scares Whitney most"...

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/05/16/campground.plague.ap/index.html

Speaking of lists, I found the COOOOOLEST thing on Google. It's called Google Trend Lab and you can compare hits on trends on the internet. Apparently there are more hits on Tornadoes vs. Zombies (my two worst fears) but Paris Hilton is still more popular than Lindsay Lohan.

http://www.google.com/trends?q=Lindsay+Lohan%2C+Paris+Hilton

Well, I have to study for my Accounting quiz at some point here, so I guess I'll just go and watch 800 episodes of Friends until I get bored enough to do it.

Song of the day: "Hands" by Mrs. John Soda

I'm out.

REEEEEEEEE!

So I had written this huge post, filled with links and videos and what does my computer do? Freeze. It fucking froze, which it never does, and I lost the whole post. You'll have to excuse me if this one has less wit than usual, because I just woke up from a nap.

Anyways, I made the awful decision to forgo sleep for the next 4 weeks, because I have class at 7:30 am to 11:40am everyday. Remember when summer school was for "bad kids"? I think that subconsciously I'm punishing myself for being such a slacker every semester for this one. This semester should turn out ok, if my two desperate emails got through to my Calc teacher. I ended up getting a 89.4 in the class, and I'm worried he wont round it up to a 90. Shit! The good news is that my Macro teacher rounded my 79.9 up to an 80, so I'm moneycakes on that.

So, the two-hour Grey's Anatomy finale is on last night. Caroline and I were watching part one of it and screaming at the television. Do you think they account for that in the Neilson ratings? Screamability? I want to see the finale so bad tonight, but I don't want to be left hanging for the next few months. Someone is dying, I just don't know who. Speaking of television shows and um... dying, Lost has become an even bigger mindfuck than it was before. I can't believe that Michael shot Anna Lucia and Libby ended up dying. I really wanted to know what her backstory was, and why she was in the psychiatric hospital. I guess Michael has been brainwashed by the Others in fear that his son would be hurt. And of course, Sayeed is getting a bad vibe from Michael and doubts his story, but no one seems to be listening (like always). I think it's awesome that Locke and Eko are becoming friends, I always thought that Eko was a black Locke.
Oh, and it seems that everyone's favorite teen drama is being re-upped for a new season:
"Fox has renewed teen drama series The O.C. for a fourth season, the network confirmed on Friday.The news comes despite a downturn in ratings for its most recent season and a dispute between the network and the show's production company.O.C. creator Josh Schwartz previously promised a "major reinvention" if the show was recommissioned. "
A major reinvention?! Thank god, because that show was getting a tad boring. I only say a tad because Adam Brody is still in it. I swear, that guy could stand there reading the owner's manual for my vacuum cleaner and I'd still watch it for an hour every Thursday night. Let's hope for a reinvention... I'm actually excited to see them go to college. Of course, they'll have dorm rooms the size of my house and probably very little class time, but I'm sure it'll still make me feel good about my state school. Yeah.

Ha! I figured it out! Every time I went to this site that had this ridiculous flash cartoon, my computer would freeze. So, unfortunately, you don't get to see a guy with a mouthfull of crabs and hear what he would sound like, which, frankly, you should be dismayed about. Because it's awesome. And by awesome I mean something only I would like and everyone else would scoff at and say to themselves, "Whitney is fucking weird."

In music news, Sufjan Stevens is due to release 'The Avalanche' - an album of material leftover from the sessions for his 'Illinois' record.
"'Illinois' was originally conceived as a double album but, as the project developed, the album became a single. The left-over tracks have been collected together on 'The Avalanche', which is due to be released on July 26.The title track was originally intended to feature as a central part of the 'Illinois' album but appeared only as an extra track on the vinyl version.'The Avalanche' also features three versions of the track 'Chicago', 'Casimir Pulaski Day' and 'Pittsfield'."
That's pretty sick. Sufjan is weird but oddly good. Just the way I like it. Oh, if anyone has the chance, check out Matt Pond PA. They're so so so so so good.

Holy crap, I just found a gem of a video. I can't adequately describe this clip without giving away the awesome, so just watch it. You won't regret it.




Here's a video made by someone with an uncanny Liverpool accent. Maybe he's actually from England and that's why it's uncanny. It serves to explain the recent lawsuit concerning Apple and The Beatles which I decided I didn't have enough time to include a news link to because I'm not 50 years old and balding. But, if you enjoy gentle British sketch comedy and The Beatles, then this is for you.



Ok, that's enough for today. I'm out!

Smooth Criminals...

Last night we went to Ed and Andy's house for yet another Miller-High-Life-fueled 80's dance party. I wanted to go to the bars later, but since we just kept winning at beer pong, we stayed. Mich ended up getting drunk and doing the whole "high-pitched run around the house before throwing up thing" again, which is always severely entertaining. Mac and I ordered Elliot's Mess, which we had to race home to get, which involved me walking the sizeable distance back to our house in high heels with Mich and Caroline trailing 10 minutes behind while peeing in public places and straddling speed bumps. Yeah. It was one of those nights.

Mac is leaving tomorrow for his internship at the New York Stock Exchange. I'm gonna miss you, you fucker!!!


Earlier:
Caroline: "Don't post that picture of all of us!"
Me: "What?! Dude, I have to!"
Caroline: "Oh whatever, no one reads your blog anyways."

See this Caroline? Now this is happening.


Ok, here is a video, drunkenly made by Mich and I, on the perils of dancing to synth pop while intoxicated:



So.... I started this earlier but it is now 12:42 am and I have to sleep so that I can hang out with my momma tomorrow.

Much love.

Thursday night...

Last night was a shit show.

I'm not going to post a complete post right now, because I'm supposed to be showering and then am going to hang out with Mac and probably watch zombie movies or something ridiculous.

One love.

Vhat?

So, I had my last final today, and I went to a barbeque, and I may be already drunk. However, I'll still post this nugget of joy to satiate you rabid blog readers. And by rabid blog readers I mean the 4 people who read my blog today. I heart you.



Anyhoo, I'm going to go live it up....
Adios, and a good night to you.

-- Whit Dizzle

Wednesday, May 10

Apparently I'm slowly becoming an insomniac. After getting no more than 4 hours of sleep yesterday, I went to bed and expected to sleep for about 12 hours. No such luck, I woke up at 8 and couldn't fall back asleep. I have to go to the library today and study for my Psychology of Human Sexuality final today. It's cumulative over all of our notes and I've got like.... 25 pages of notes to study. I think I'll go through over a hundred notecards for this thing. I also have to start studying for my Macroeconomics test, which is also cumulative over every single fucking thing we've learned in class. Gah.

In a Q&A with the Coming Soon website, Lindsay Lohan gave an interview that was so shallow that translations were needed in order to make sense of it all.

LOHAN, regarding why she chose to join the cast of Prarie Home Companion: “Would you turn down a movie that Robert Altman was directing and Meryl Streep was playing your mother in? I wouldn’t recommend it if you wouldn’t say yes.”
TRANSLATION: "I know, right?! Who are these people? I've never seen Robert whats-his-name at Nobu or Meryl Streep at The Ivy, but I guess these old people are 'hip' to other old people. Just the other day, I was smoking a cigarette that I had this guy buy for me at the Diamond Shamrock, and I was pulling on a snag in my black leggings, and it hit me! Leggings for old people!... Meryl didn't go for it." (Pouts)

LOHAN, regarding her newfound love of “indie” roles: “In “Georgia Rule”, my character, she plays this girl she was molested by her stepfather. And Garry Marshall is doing it and it’s a dark comedy, but I feel like people will always be judgmental.”
TRANSLATION: "Now that no one takes me seriously because of my terrible attitude, excessive partying and tendency to steal fives out of people's wallets, I've moved on to different roles where I can wear like, wigs and fake teeth and stuff so that no one will recognize me. Plus, getting molested is soooo emo. That's so cool right now."

LOHAN, regarding the nature of her relationship with co-star Meryl Streep: “More of a friends relationship rather than… her daughters are there all the time and one is my age, one is older and one’s younger. They’re really sweet. Everyone, the whole cast went to dinner every single night. We had nothing else really to do.”
TRANSLATION: "We were in such a podunk town that I had to hang out with people who weren't famous. It was awful. One time though, I got a rib stuck to my finger! Haha! It was the first time I had something stick to my ribs in a long time." (Coughs)

LOHAN, regarding her forthcoming film Bobby: “The movie’s beautiful. I mean, it’s beautiful.”
TRANSLATION: "I'm beautiful. I mean, I'm beautiful"

LOHAN, regarding her Bobby co-stars she doesn’t actually have scenes with: “I know that Demi Moore, Anthony Hopkins and I are going to go and promote it so that’s an honor.”
TRANSLATION: "I'm going to be so high and let them do all the talking. That way I'll look more serious... oh my god! Did you see that girl's shirt! Sooo ugly."

LOHAN, regarding Chapter 27, her forthcoming film about John Lennon’s assassin: “It’s a very touchy subject and no one wanted me to do the movie that works with me. Just because John Lennon is a legend, was, God rest his soul.”
TRANSLATION: “I mean, he's fucking dead. It's not like it was like, the lead singer for Fall Out Boy who died or anything. Because that would be soooo sad."

LOHAN, regarding her meeting with Yoko Ono: “We’re both wearing all black because I was like I need to wear something that Yoko would [sanction]. And we went and had sushi and she was so sweet and just amazing in the things that she had to say.”
TRANSLATION: “Yoko Ono obviously cared about what I was going to wear, I mean, that was probably all she had to worry about. I met her son, Sean Lennon once, and I was like, 'dude... why aren't you wearing black?! I don't think you can sit with us.' and he got all pissed and knocked one of my salmon rolls onto the floor and it was really, really sad. Oh! Did I mention that my dad has been to jail? Don't you feel bad for me?"
Idea via bestweekever.

Ok, well I should probably go study. Ew.

S.O.A.P.-tastic.

I went to bed at 11 tonight, hoping to get at least 5 and 1/2 hours of sleep before I woke up to finish studying for my final. Unfortunately, I just spent the last two hours lying awake, so I figured I'd do something other than just lying there.

Many of you might know about my obsession with "Snakes on a Plane", a summer blockbuster starring Samuel L. Jackson. Don't know what it is? Well, it's... exactly what it sounds like. A guy releases a bunch of snakes on a plane, and Samuel L. Jackson swears a lot and shoots at snakes. Too awesome. My friend David and I are going to drink beers at Old Chicago before we see it, it will enhance the awesome, I'm sure. I'll be legal then, the movie comes out on the 18th and I turn 21 on the 16th. Anyways, I've gathered a bunch of "S.O.A.P." (wow, the acronym actually makes sense) stuff together for your viewing pleasure...

First off, the official "S.O.A.P." website, complete with eerie music:
http://www.snakesonaplane.com/

Second, "Snakes on a Blog" -- your source for everything snakey:
http://www.snakesonablog.com/
("Snakes on a Blog" is one man's quest is to attend the Hollywood premiere of Snakes on a Plane by promoting the movie with news updates, an SNL-inspired rap about the movie, and a petition.)

Then we have an awesome trailer someone made... it's pretty straightforward in it's awesomeness, just watch it:



Finally, the "Snakes on a Plane Rap" courtesy of some white guys:



Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Well, I suppose I'll go lay in my bed for 3 more hours until I get up at 4:30am. I'm so worried about my Calculus final that I'm willing to do it. Bum bum bummmmm....

So, this weekend has been interesting. Drunk as a skunk on Friday, slept until 1... didn't get much studying done. Hung out a little, drank a little, and today I'm just studying. Well, studying and wasting time making my blog as pink as possible. I am desperately trying to manipulate the html in this template but I'm not particularly satisfied. Oh well.

I uploaded a video onto YouTube as a way to explain the picture I posted when I was drunk. You see, Mac and I fell down, and I couldn't seem to get up. Mac then started covering me in debris, to which I started screaming, "My fucking brain!!!". See for yourself:



Classy. How 'bout some links?

Dated, sure, but here is "What is Love" by Haddaway in many different variations. You'll see what I mean.
http://www.funny-base.com/cartoons/love.swf

Haha, silly "Official Meeting Facilities" magazine staff. Little do they know, but...

Nothing like "OMFG" to punctuate a sentence. "OMFG! Did you seeeeeeee the tablecloths at the last convention? Looked like Bob from Accounting's ties."

Like crazy-haired beatboxers?

Watch it. It's pretty awesome. This is definitely someone who has more time on their hands than me. Which is huge.

So I've noticed that a lot of people have the same shirt that I do. This wouldn't seem out of the ordinary normally, but this particular shirt is almost 20 years old. It's a 1987 Denver Broncos superbowl shirt, which I acquired from my friend Kelsi. It was her older brother's and I really liked it because it was broken in and comfortable. Anyways, while perusing pictures on Facebook, I've come across the same shirt twice. I just think it's a little odd. (The first picture is of me.)

Interesting.

Ok, well I'm out to spend some quality time with my poppa.

Eeeee...

I'll post a blog of epic proportions soon, I promise. I'm just busy with all the studying and falling down in laundry rooms.

Ah, fuck.

Honestly, am I going to post this drunk?! I think I am!

1:34 when I started this,

It's CINCO DE MAYO! Considering my German/English/Scottish heritage, I should be drinking excessive amounts of Cerveza Y Tequila. Right? Right?
Really? I'm not genetically designed to be taking tequila shots?!

I fucking.............. need to stop drinking this much! And the worst part was that I found the best links today (thanks to David) and was going to post them, and instead watched "The Chronicles of Narnia" and fell asleep on the love sac.

So, when I realize what a drunken posting mistake I've made, I'll post a full story and pics, complete with links.

I love you, faithful blog reader.

Love,
Whitney

:|

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I just have to keep telling myself that.

The train....

As promised, here is the video of Mich and Heather gettin' down...



Also, for those who didn't partake, here's a video of 4/20 on Farrand field...
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1683849/

It looks like I'm obsessed with it, but I'm simply mystified since I didn't do the whole 4/20 thing.

You want to see real-life Mario acted out on a stage? Wow, I must be psychic, because here you go:
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1685760/

Finally, I have got to get this t-shirt. This is my reality.

That's all for today... I'm gonna go put on my pajamas and lay on things. Hallelujah.

Song of the Day: "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.

Thursday morning...

This nugget of glory was what I found waiting for me at 7:15 this morning.




David: whitney
David: we must find and watch this movie
David: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3768
David: http://i.somethingawful.com/mjolnir/images/pantsfish~varney33.jpg
David: yes, that's a screenshot
David: and it is jim varney (they guy who plays Ernest)
David: and he's covered in oatmeal

I'm frightened. Very frightened.

Ergh

I wish blogger would quit screwing up my format. It looks so pretty when I write it out and then bam! Pink mess.

:(

Mission: Insane.

My life has gotten so boring lately that all I have to post are pictures of Tom Cruise chugging olive oil. He could be chugging purified placenta and I don't think anyone would think any different. That man is crazy.

Don't get the placenta reference? Here you go, you unwitting goon:

http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2006/04/tom-cruises-secret-ingredient-is.html

Looks like Letterman likes the taste too.




Ashlee Simpson has reportedly gotten a nose job. I can't really tell from the pictures I've seen, but I never thought I'd see the day when Jessica Simpson looked like a hobbit and Ashlee didn't.


Well. I said that I would post more pics from the toga party, and here you go: me with a guy who had "boner" tatooed on his arm.
















I was going to post a video of Mich doing "the train" but YouTube is down, so I'll put it on later.

I suppose after my hellish Thursday, it will be time to get drunk.

Song of the Day: "Step into my Office, Baby" by Belle and Sebastien

Scotland the brave?!

You'd have to be pretty brave to wear this. Sarah Jessica Parker wore this tragic tartan over a beige strapless gown recently at The Costume Institute Gala. I'm not sure why, the dress itself is very pretty, although a bit too beige for my liking. Did she look at herself in the mirror before she left and think "jesus, this plaid blanket makes me ooze glamour!" or were the horrified screams of her stylist just muffled by the crinkling of all the material?!

The world may never know. How did this woman get picked to represent the oh so glamorous Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City?

Well, I'm out. I've got to read for a test that one of my professors has nicely scheduled two days before finals weekend.

Song of the Day: "Romulus" by Sufjan Stevens.

That's *NOT* hot...

"In between brushing off questions that require answers which make sense, putting bikinis on her dogs, and talking about why she loves European men ("because they're European"), Paris Hilton just dropped her next huge announcement on Ellen.
She is no longer saying "that's hot." She, like everyone else, is so over it. So she racked her brain for weeks and weeks to come up with a replacement one-liner that will do the job of branding her without forcing her to pronounce anything too difficult. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, Paris Hilton's new phrase is:
"That's Sexy."
Immediately erase the passé word "hot" from your vernacular and start stepping it up with the sexy new phrase or you will never be allowed to enter Buddah Bar again." Source: Jossip.

As much as I love to hate Paris Hilton, I just can't. Especially after watching episode after episode of the Simple Life on E!. It's so awesome seeing her clod around with her size 11 feet, and realizing shes just as awkward as anyone else. She's just bloody rich. Also, I think Nicole Ritchie is a badass. By watching that show, I have learned the most invaluable way to get what you want: call everyone "sexy" or "gorgeous". It really does work. I'll be at the bars and will call the bartender "gorgeous" and lo and behold: more to drinky.

Not much else to say, today is a pretty slow day for me. I'm just going to study a bit later and try not to get myself too wound up over finals next week.

Toga! Toga!

So, last night was the toga party at Aubrey's. It was awesome how everyone went all out on their outfits. Me, Heather, and Michelle all matched each other, with different colors. I don't have a picture of all three of us, but I do have a few random ones. I ended up getting completely smashed and walking from our house to another party, in our togas. On the way over, Mich and I realized that we could have changed.... it was just so much better that we didn't. I'll post more pics later if I get them.


<----- Pale legs in all their glory.

My friend Mac and I watched the move Spun on Thursday. All I have to say, is don't do meth. Holy shit. These people would stay up for days upon days just doing rails and then crashing and then doing it all over again. It makes me so glad I don't do that shit.

An interesting link: People after years of drug use:

http://www.drugfree.org/Portal/DrugIssue/MethResources/faces/photo_4.html

Holy shit, speaking of drugs, if you haven't seen these photos of Pete Doherty injecting heroin into an unconscious girl, here you go:

Fucking ridiculous.

In other drug news, the Boulder police department is trying to get kids to narc on each other by posting pictures of people smoking on Farrand Field on 4/20. They're offering 50 bucks a head. Holy shit, if I had no integrity, I'd rat all of these people out. However, I do, indeed, have a conscience. And I don't know anyone anyways.

http://www.colorado.edu/police/420_Photo_Album/index.htm

Last night...

I had so much fun last night! Went out to dinner with Tyler and then walked down to Old C's to watch the Avs game. I got my ID checked pretty hardcore -- the guy who was checking them knew me, his roomate is friends with my roomate. Anyways, he let me in, so it was cool. Drank a few beers and Tyler and I decided we weren't going to get drunk without spending too much money, so we left and got a bottle of vodka and took pulls in the parking lot. We ended up leaving Old C's to go to Tony's. That place... is disgusting. They were letting in the grossest people. Not that I'm one to discriminate, but I swear to god, I think I saw a homeless man. Anyways, drank a little there, went home. Took care of Mich's drunk ass, she was hilarious, passing out with the lights on and running around looking for people who weren't there. Pretty fucking fun.

Being able to go to the bars is killing my bank account.

Mac called me today at noon and was wondering if I wanted to play beer pong. Seriously?! I think I was still drunk.

Anyways, toga party tonight... we'll see how that goes.