The Chances of Half Nelson Showing In Theatres Are...

Have you heard of the movie Half Nelson? No? Then here you go:



From Pajiba:
On the one hand, you have a freebasing inner-city junior-high-school teacher, Dan Dunne (Ryan Gosling) (he’s a base-head because he can’t afford cocaine on a teacher’s salary), who spends his evenings getting high and doing the tango with street walkers. On the other hand, he’s a fucking helluva educator and exactly the kind of guy you want teaching your kids. He eschews government-defined lesson plans, opting instead to teach a Hegelian dialectical view of historical change to a group of ninth graders who — under the tutelage of anyone else — would have absolutely no interest in the subject.
But they’re fascinated with their teacher, and the audience is equally transfixed with Gosling, who turns in one of those rare performances that makes you feel giddy just watching him onscreen — honest to God, it’s a head-shaking, awe-inducing accomplishment, the rare drug-addled, self-destructive character that you find yourself completely invested in (like Lohan, only likable). I suspect that anyone who has only seen Gosling in The Notebook might be as skeptical as I was walking in, expecting a smirky, self-referential Breckin Meyer-type performance. You have to see it to believe it, but somehow Gosling manages to be both subtle and dominating, commanding a Pacino-like screen presence with the flash of a simple smile of vulnerability.
But what’s almost equally amazing is the performance of Shareeka Epps, who plays Drey, one of Mr. Dunne’s students. She walks into a locker room after a girls’ basketball game and finds Dunne, who is also her coach, huddled in a bathroom stall hitting the crack pipe. She has every reason to turn on him, but — as the latchkey daughter of a single mom who works double shifts as an EMT and the little sister of a man who is in prison for drug-related crimes — she seems to find something fascinatingly real about a superstar teacher with a drug addiction. In a very unassuming way, she makes Dunne her salvation project, while at the same time quietly using him to help escape her lot. The IMDb has absolutely no autobiographical information about Epps, but the old soul within her outdates the likes of Dakota Fanning by a few decades, I’d imagine. She’s mostly dour and seemingly detached in the film, but every few scenes or so, she’ll reveal a bit of 12-year-old humanity in a smile that will expose her crooked teeth, which almost feels like a goddamn heartbreaking metaphor.

Like the title of this post suggests, the chances of this film coming to Fort Collins is close to nil. However, I thought that about Little Miss Sunshine, and it seemed to do well enough to have a wider release, so I guess I'll just have to be patient. I guess I'll have to settle for seeing The Last Kiss with every god damned 18-28 year-old in Fort Collins. Who am I kidding? I'm stoked for that one and have been for a while. (http://good-bloggie.blogspot.com/2006/06/do-you-have-scoop.html)

Listening to: Faster Kill Pussycat -- Paul Oakenfold feat. Brittany Murphy

Oh! I almost forgot! With three more clicks, Good Bloggie will have had 1200 views. That's big.

Ba Ba Baaa!

Nothing especially important to write about today, I just wanted to remind everyone that...

She's such a beautiful shade of burnt toast.

I Actually Write the Word "Vagina" in This Post.

'ello kiddies. Sorry about the lack of posts lately. All I seem to get scheduled for lately at work are weekends, so I'm usually doing that or being too lazy to write.

So I've been trying to get some new music into my system lately. I'm pretty sick of most of the stuff I've been listening to, and even my super sweet techno CD that Caroline burned me is starting to get old. However, today, I admittedly got my grubby little paws on the new Justin Timberlake CD. Don't hate me... It's not terrible. Everyone needs a little falsetto-dance-music in their life. It's going to take a little getting used to... I keep playing SexyBack over and over without listening to the other songs. I also downloaded the Junior Boys' CD, So This Is Goodbye this morning. If you listen to KCSU at all, you'll know that there is a ton of buzz surrounding him. It's very simple electronica with easy beats and a singer who sounds a little bit like Depeche Mode's David Gahan. It's all very catchy and calm without being over electronicicized. Yeah, that's a word now. Wikipedia it. I dare you.



Now this is marketing. Apparently, there has been a YouTube fueled frenzy over a poster called LonelyGirl15. She made daily video blogs and posted them on the internet. I'm not sure how people came to find out about her, but she apparently gained hundreds of thousands of fans. She would talk about her parents, her strange religion, her crush -- normal teenage stuff. Then, word got out that she, in fact, may be a ficticious character, someone who was used on the internet as a tie-in to a horror movie. Judge for yourself.


Here's the article discussing the prospect that she may not be real:
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-lonelygirl8sep08,0,5310001.story?coll=la-home-entertainment
Whatever it is, if it's not just a simple videoblog, then it's pretty damn cool. I can't believe how many people latched on to her story and got angry when they were presented with the idea that she was fake. Oh, internet.

I remember when I positively obsessed with Blink 182. I would literally listen to Dude Ranch on repeat when I was 15, and Ashton and I would quote their live album for hours on end. What happened? It's sad when the musicians you admire get old and start having baby momma drama and mortgage payments and forget all about you and your Converse All-Stars and teenage angst. But does anyone like Tom Delonge's new band Angels & Airwaves? Tom was always my favorite in the group, but now it's like he can't come up with a new sound. I always criticize musicians who can't find their own style outside of that of their producer's (ahem... Paris Hilton) but I think it's damn time for a change. Mark Hoppus and Travis Barker have their own band minus Tom Delonge called Plus-44. I'm kind of interested in hearing their stuff and kind of not. That ship has sailed like 5 years ago for me. Sad.

My friend David sent me, among other things, this movie poster for Snakes on a Plane... in French. Could I ask for more?!

Look at how evil Samuel L. Jackson looks! I love the dead guy in the aisle -- the poster designers must have been like, "Oui, Muzzer fooker! You vill DIE! Beecuzz of zee snakes! Ehhhhhh heheheeh..." as they smoked their cigarettes and scratched their heads under their berets. Oh, you know I love the French. Well, the French language at least.

Here's a website for a guy who took tiny little figurines around with him in Europe and took pictures of them in random European locations. It's cute.

http://little-people.blogspot.com/

So Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner are dating. Damnit. I thought that when he accepted my friend request on MySpace that it meant we were going to get married. You promised, Brody! PROMISED!!!

Darn.

So is anyone else sick of seeing Lindsay Lohan's vagina? I'm not posting pictures, because seriously, who do you think I am, and also, vaginas are gross, especially those of Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan. But honestly, Linds, if you thought we actually wanted to see your goodies, you were sorely mistaken. What was this, like, the third time you either wore something completely see-through without a bra and/or flashed the world your undercarriage? Yeah. I'm sure Victoria's Secret would have a sale on anything if you would agree to make a visit. I'll even pay.

I feel like I've sunk to a new low. Blogging on that subject makes me feel a little crazy. I need a pick me up.
Oh! Go Fug Yourself. Being bitchy so I don't have to.
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/
Seriously. Way awesome.

One more thing before I go study for Marketing. I know that she's a burlesque dancer, and gets naked and flops around in a giant glass of champagne while wearing pasties on her boobies, and is married to Marilyn freakin Manson, but damn. Dita Von Tess gives hope for pale girls (like me) everywhere.



And I'd kill for those shoes.

Nighty!

Thursday Morning...

Dear America,
Why must you taunt me so? For years, I've kept my silence, but no more!
Nickelback is not, I repeat, NOT a good band. Give it up already.
For the love of god.
Respectfully yours,
Whit Dizzle

Yuck. I just had to get that out of my system. But seriously, who on earth still buys their CDs?

Oh Paris... dear, sweet, drunkenly-weaving-all-over-the-road Paris. When will you learn? CD release + DUI does not a good publicity stunt make.
Police pulled the hotel heiress over and tested her for intoxication after seeing her drive erratically, Los Angeles police officer Robert Andreno told Reuters.

So, dear readers, I must admit that I've been feeling less than blog-tastic lately. I was informed Tuesday by a certain someone who will remain unnamed that he is "so sick of reading about celebrities that he can't even read my blog anymore." What does that leave me with?!

Why, god, why?! Why must you forsake me!? Why must you threaten the life of my blog?!
Wait, what?
Oh.... It's glorious....

Incredible! Now I have something to write about for the next 18 years.

Oh, and erm, sorry I drew alien antennae on Suri Holmes-Cruise in Paint.

I'd Almost Forgot, When....

I had almost forgot about this hilarious clip. It's been in my favorites in internet explorer for ever.

Enjoy.

R.I.P.

My friend Heather just got a text (after coming home from Pott's) that Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter died today. We didn't believe it, but it was true. He got stung in the heart by a stingray. What a shitty, weird, but fitting way to go out. We're actually sad.

Rest in peace, Steve. We're toasting you as I write this.

CRUNCH!

So my car got rearended yesterday after the football game. Sweet. It actually wasn't that bad, I was the first in the line of four cars that got hit, so I basically got a big scrape and the screws from the guy's license plate embedded in the bumper of my car. It's still somewhat ironic -- I just got my bumper fixed a few months ago from when another kid hit my car, and I just put the "Not All Who Wander Are Lost" hippie-ass bumper sticker I love so much back on. The guy who hit the girl two cars behind me was so wasted that they arrested him. I guess he was driving his friends car. That, I think, is conclusive proof that friends shouldn't let friends drive drunk. Idiots.


I'm sure by now you've heard of who Jessica Simpson is currently dating. (Funny thing is that last night, my friend Heather was sitting at the kitchen table, reading that US Weekly that comes every week, and exclaimed, "She's dating him?!" I ran out of my room and was like, "shit! You would have known about that two days ago if I had actually written my blog!") Yep, she's dating none other than John Mayer. You might think, "well, that's alright, he's a talented musician, isn't he?" Well no. He's turned into a towering, long haired, sellout ogre of a man. I remember how I was positively obsessed with him in high school. I saw him at the Fillmore, with not more than 300 people in attendance... and then at City Lights Pavillion with about 1000.... and then at Fiddler's Green with 23849742598374 people (or however many people they pack into that shitty ampitheatre.) I think the instant when I gave up on being a John Mayer fan was when a drunk 30-year-old man spilled an Coors Light on my favorite Alkaline Trio sweatshirt at the third concert. Is it possible to like, negative-give-up on someone? Because I think this whole Jessica Simpson thing just pushed me over the edge into doing just that.

Sometimes I'll sit around and just read through my blog. I'm actually impressed with the fact that I've kept it up this frequently and for this long. For those of you who know me, you know that I'll get really obsessed with something, exhaust whatever it is, wear it out, and then discard it. I think I've done this thing for so long because I simply love talking about myself. At least I know it, right? Doesn't that make it better? No? Damn.

I had another zombie dream the other night. I keep having them and they're positively horrifying. Yet I can't stop renting zombie movies. I try to face my fear, but instead make myself more fearful in the end.

So I think if you go into Best Buy or Target, you can actually hear Paris Hilton's debut album clacking around on the floor, gasping for breath. The thing only sold 75,00 copies, compared to about 350,000 by Christina Aguilera in her first week of sales. Who didn't see this coming?! I actually heard it wasn't half bad, but that's not enough to make me go to Target and scoop the poor thing up and buy it. On the other hand, the new Nelly Furtado album is pretty solid. (The first song, "Alive" is yet another of those things that I beat to death. I think it's play count in my iTunes is up to about 15, and I only downloaded it a few days ago.)

Did anyone watch the VMA's? I watched part of them, because I don't really find it important to devote 3 hours of my life to MTV anymore unless it's a Next marathon. If it is, I'm so there. Anyhoo, Ok Go performed their whole treadmill dance routine live. Yeah, MTV. I said it --You're so one month ago. My post on that whole thing was on August 2nd. Yet another reason to read Good Bloggie -- the trendspotting . That is, if you can get past the relentless bragging.

IDon'tLikeYouInThatWay posted a really interesting article that I put below. It could be all bullshit, but I dunno. Sounds interesting anyways.
For years there have been blind items about a famous executive-star, "Pert Member." A guy who often lends his private jet to closeted gay actors so they can have sex with their boyfriends without fear of getting caught. He also has a beautiful Hollywood actress for a wife who doesn't mind that her husband's boyfriend lives with them.
Just so we're clear, this dude is gay. If this were a cartoon character, he'd be covered in pink flames.
Why am I telling you this about a post on John Travolta? Oh, no reason. By the way, the jet in the picture belongs to him.

http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20060831/travolta%20gay/travolta.html
Yeah. Weird.

I'm probably the only one out there, but I'm really, really digging Jared Leto's 30 Seconds to Mars look. There's just something about a guy in skinny jeans. I wore mine to Wash Bar the other night and felt simultaneously awkward and really, really fucking cool. I'm sure Jared feels the same way. Or not. Blogger's uploader isn't working (suprise, suprise) and so here's the link to the picture I'm talking about.
http://idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20060901/vma%202006%20leto/jlvma4.html

Anddddd the final item I'm going to write about is a band called Dirty Pretty Things out of London. I'm pretty sure they're going to be the new Arctic Monkeys. Their single, "Bang Bang, You're Dead" is blowing up the charts in England. They're just so English and awesome. I'm sure they're the kind of band that when you go to see them live, they smoke and drink on stage and yell at the audience. God I love that.



My roomates and I just made up the coolest game. We had a bunch of random drinks in our fridge (yes, I am drinking on a Sunday) and we had to put everything into a hat and just deal with what we pulled. I got a Singhai, a blueberry vodka shot, and a shot of Soco. Mich pulled a Hamm's, (gross) a Coors, and a Mike's Hard Lemonade. Dbo got a Tsingtao, a Hamm's, and a Strawberry shot. Heather got a Red Stripe, a Busch Light, and a regular vodka shot. Hell yeah.

Mashup-tacular!

Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man.

I got sent the link to download Wu Orleans today. What, exactly, is Wu Orleans? Oh, you know, just the coolest mashup I've heard in a really long time, probably since The Grey Album. (If you don't know what The Grey Album is, it was a mashup done by DJ Dangermouse -- of Gnarls Barkley fame -- where he mixed the Beatle's White Album with Jay-Z's Black Album. It's really, really good, I suggest you check it out.) Anyhoo, Wu Orleans is various Wu-Tang songs mixed with Dixieland music in order to create some of the most unusual tunes I've heard in a while.

You can download the whole album here: http://djbc.net/mashes/wu/ or you can download a song to listen to here: http://djbc.net/mashes/wu/WhentheMethComesMarchingIn.mp3 which will allow you to download it from that site.
Thanks David!

Another song worth mentioning is Nelly Furtado's "Afraid". I know, I know, Nelly doesn't really reveal my hardcore side, but it really is a cool song. The only version I could find of it online (because it isn't her single) was some video some kids made. The other choice on YouTube was this guy dancing around in Eurotrash sunglasses. I figured this was the better of the two.

I love how Justin Timberlake is trying to shed his boyband image. That's okay with me, as I, admittedly, (being a red-blooded American female and all) am a Timberlake fan. However, there was something that struck me as familiar about one of his promo photos. Hmm...

It looks errily familiar to Mos Def's cover art for his CD, The New Danger, that came out last year. Tres Interresante, non?

Ok, well I've got guitar soon... I'm super out of practice. We'll see how that goes.

Ugly Bloggie.

Dear Whit,

As a faithful reader of Good Bloggie, I am deeply saddened with your failure to comemmorate one of the most beloved animals in all of human history. It seems as if Sam --better known as the worlds ugliest dog-- has passed away. He was laid to rest on November 22, 2005 in his San Fransisco home.

I understand that Lindsay Lohan is a very popular topic on your blog, but I think the world is interested in ugly things too. I think it might be time to start lookin out for the little guys.

Sincerely,

Heather
Your most faithful reader


There you have it. Ask and you shall receive.

I've been toying around with the idea of guest writers lately...

Anyone up for the challenge?

Ghost Ride the Whip?

My friend David has the capacity to find the most random interesting things on the internet. He sent me quite a few videos from YouTube specifically to post on my blog.

The first video is of a phenomenon where dudes "ghost ride the whip." What is this exactly? It's where they get their car going really slow, crank up E-40's "Tell Me When to Go" on the stereo, and get out of their car and dance alongside of it. Another variation is where they get their car going, get out, and accidentally crash it into things. I'm not sure you can really "ghost ride" if you crash your car. Then it's more like "ghost insurance-hike."

From Boingboing.net -- how to properly ghost ride the whip:
(1) get in your car and drive
(2) *while* your car is moving forward
(3) step out of the driver's seat and dance around in the road
(4) optional: jump on top of your car, which remains in motion, and vamp on the roof.
(5) refrain from dying
(6) post video on the internet, boyyyeeeeee.

I couldn't find the one I wanted, so here's another one:




This would be ghost riding gone wrong:


So there you have it; another thing for 14-year-olds to write about on each other's MySpace walls.

Another brilliant thing David sent me was something from a series of pseudo-educational BBC videos. They're shot by ancient 70's-80's cameras and narrated by a man with a British accent. They seem to be educational videos at first, but then they just hit you with something so funny and ridiculous, like this quote from "Module 2 -- Water":
"But what is water? It's a difficult question because water is impossible to describe. One might ask the same about birds. What are birds? We just don't know."



And this one on the brain.



Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

So this weekend was a weird one. On Thursday, we went to the Rio and Wash Bar, and met a dude that was in the most recent season of the Real World. Yeah, we were those girls. On Friday, I was dead, and we stayed at our house and played beer pong... where I got just as drunk as if I would have gone out. Damnit. At the end of the night, I was drinking Hamm's beer (I guess it's comparable to Schlitz... $6.49 for a 12 pack. Classy, Andy.) and taking shots of SoCo lime that I didn't need. On Saturday, I was even more dead and decided to take it easy. Apparently, that means drinking a mixed drink that consists of 55% vodka, 40% 7-Up and 5% ice cubes, going to the Pickle Barrel to drink cheap drinks and then coming home at 12:30. I'm turning into such a loser. Tonight, we saw Beerfest, which was.... exactly what it looked like. Boobies and beer. It was still enjoyable nonetheless. It made me really want to have a little beerfest of my own. I'm off to sleep and then get up early to do my French homework. Damn.

Not To Toot My Own Horn, But...

I love how you can insert little disclaimers into your speech patterns so that when you say something really inflammatory or conceited, people have less license to get mad at you. Like in Talladega Nights, Ricky Bobby's manager says, "you can't just start off a sentence with 'with all due respect' and still insult me!" to which Ricky replies, "yes I can -- I said 'with all due respect' -- I can say whatever I want."

Well, not to toot my own horn, but....

I do a lot of horn tootin' in this blog, and by no means are you supposed to take me seriously. Anyways, I was reading this article, and it made me scoff and look around my room like someone else was sitting on my bed or something, ready to agree with whatever I said. Unfortunately, not making any money with this blog has left me with no funds with which to pay someone simply to agree with me. Someday... someday.


A GOTHIC ROMANCE WITH BLACK NAILS
By RAAKHEE MIRCHANDANI

August 24, 2006 -- PAINT the town black this fall. This season's hottest Goth-chic beauty trend - seen on Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham and Lindsay Lohan - is short, dark nails.
"I think dark colors, especially dark nail polishes, are popular again because we are all angst-ridden teenagers at heart," says NARS senior stylist James Boehmer. "And it's easy to channel your inner Goth by slapping on a dark coat of nail polish."
Cosmetics companies are indulging in their dark sides too- Chanel recently launched "Black Satin," their first inky black shade, and nail-giant Essie has four new dark shades in dark wine and brown coming out for fall.
"When you see black nails on a woman, it says she's comfortable showing off a bit of her wild side," says celebrity makeup artist Rachel Goodwin, who works on Avril Lavigne and Hilary Duff. "I think wearing a black polish adds a fun, subversive rock-chic vibe without being harsh or unfeminine."

I've had my toenails black for like, three months now, and I just got done chipping all of the sparkly black topcoat off of my fingernails today in Accounting. No offense, but I'm so ahead of my time. The world ain't ready. Maybe K-Fed and I should collaborate. I'll spit lyrics and he can play the bongo and the french horn.

1000?!

Good lord. After I posted last night I looked at the hit counter and noticed it was on 999 views. Right now, it's on 1013. Over one thousand views!!! Holy shit. That's fantastic.

I think Brooke Hogan puts it best:

And that, my friends, is what Good Bloggie is all about.

Good Reader. Bad Blogger.

Good lord, sorry I haven't written in a while. My 4 devoted readers must be pissed.

In lieu of the New York Post I promised, I'm going to just do a regular one. I put off posting for so long because the prospect of sorting through literally 500+ pictures was slightly daunting, so I'll get to that later.

The other night was my birthday celebration... yes, the 4th one in 4 days. So what? I think being the last one of my friends to turn 21 means I can do that. It was a pretty rockin' good time. The whole night was a bit of a shitshow, but super fun nonetheless.

I started classes yesterday. I can't believe I'm back in school! After taking 9 credits this summer just to freaking catch up to all of the JUNIORS at Csu, I've realized how desperately behind I am. Not desperate enough to take more classes, just desperate enough to feel sorry for myself. My french class turned out to be a combination 400-500 level class, so that's incredibly daunting. I'm sure it'll be ok though.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to see Snakes on a Plane. I know, I know, after the way I've been hyping it, it's incredible that I haven't seen it. I was simply too drunk to even think about seeing a movie this weekend. Actually, Sunday, my body just kind of shut down and was like, "Nah uh, Whit. No beer pong at Potts. No way." I'm still kind of recovering from our week long drinking binge on the east coast. F yeah. In other "movies I want to see" news, Little Miss Sunshine has finally been released in theatres here and I must go see it.

So Mel Gibson got probation instead of jailtime for his arrest. Yes, the man who publicly stated his intense hatred of Jews -- instead of getting time for doing something illegal-- gets to read books to children and pee in a cup every Wednesday. By the way, wasn't Jesus a Jew? Isn't that a wee bit hypocrytical?!

In lighter news, K-Fed performed his first single, Lose Control, on the Teen Choice Awards the other night after being introduced by Britney Spears. I'd post a video of it from YouTube, but I'm sure none of you would be bothered to watch it anyways, so here's a quick rundown: 14-year-olds who have been standing on their feet for five hours have bewildered and pained expressions on their faces as Britney Spears introduces K-Fed. Thoughts of "what happened to her?!" mixed in with "holy crap, look at those jugs!" run through their minds as a piano beat plays over the speakers. K-Fed has hired a man even more annoying than himself to yell at random intervals during the song to punctuate that Federline is both "hard" and a "badass". The attempt fails as Keanu Reeves starts yelling "FREEBIRD" while scratching his head. Just kidding. Anyways, the summation is that it was actually a very earnest and serious attempt that didn't get pulled off. I think he really tried on this one. Sad... at least he didn't perform Popo-Zao. Or would that have been better?!

Let's talk, Brooke Hogan. Let's fucking talk.
http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20060821/brooke%20hogan%20teen%20choice/bhtc1.html
I swear to god, the next white girl I see wearing a grill, I will personally threaten to slap... in my head. I'm really not all that violent.
Blogger's stupid photo uploader isn't working, because all I seem to write about are things like K-Fed and Brooke Hogan, but damn Blogger. Gimme a break.

This is the video for a song that I'm absoloutely obsessed with. It really is worth a listen. It's a really calm, upbeat techno song by Deepest Blue.



Ok, well it's a wee bit late, and I have to get up early to read for my French class (surprise, surprise, the cycle of procrastination starts again) so I'm going to hit the hay. Nighty!

I'm Back, Bitches.

I made it!

My plane didn't crash or get bombed, I didn't kill myself from drinking on my birthday, and I didn't fall down a subway grate or do something equally stupid while in New York City. I had the most amazing time. I'm going to do a huge post (and by huge, I mean try to condense the 400 or so pictures that Caroline and I took into just a few) later, but I don't have all of the pictures yet.

...But for now, I'm going to go spend some quality family time with my dad and step-people, which hopefully means getting drunk and making adults feel weird.

Hoorah!

Start spreadin' the news....
I'm leavin' today....
I wanna be a part of it,
New York, New York!!!

YECKSHIMESH!

Here's the theatrical trailer for Borat: The Movie. I saw it before Talladega Nights and almost peed my pants from excitement. I didn't do it, however, because we ended up sitting next to our lawn guy, and that would have made the already weird, weirder.

"Vedy nice, how much?!"



Sorry I haven't updated much lately. I've been working quite a bit and getting ready for NYC. Who's excited?! I'm excited! I leave Thursday morning.

I might be able to update midway through, but I'm not sure. When I get back I'll be sure to put up lots and lots of pics! Yay!

Grumble. I have to do my laundry and pack by tomorrow.... I'm leaving for the airport at like, 5am and am going to attempt to fly standby. That should be very, very interesting. When I come back, I'll be 21!!!
(High pitched girly shrieking)

Ok, sorry, I'll stop bragging. Have a wonderful Tuesday, buggers.

You Should Start DVRing Good Bloggie.

So, after being in my drunken, reckless stupor last night, I nestled into the love sac to watch some of the shows I DVR on Friday nights -- Best Week Ever and The Soup, both pop-culture gossip shows. As I laid there, drinking from my water bottle and munching on cheese-its, I realized something; it was all old news. Almost everything I was watching was something I had heard about earlier in the week, and more importantly, written about. That, to me, was both awesome, and sad at the same time. Awesome, because Iguess that means I'm in the know about things other people have to wait a week to hear about, and sad, because I realized that I spend a pretty large chunk of time reading about other people's lives.

Going to go to work, have a good Saturday!

A Sure Sign of the Apocalypse

I never thought I'd say it, but here goes: Kevin Federline is a brave, brave man. Everyone talks about how he just uses Britney Spears for her money and how he is only using her to further his career, but damn -- I can't say I blame him. "Why," you ask?! Just watch this video and you'll understand. I've had more coherent musings in my sleep.



There are things in life that just make you want to run around and yell, "HELP ME JESUS! HELP ME TOM CRUISE!" This just happens to be one of them. I'm sure when Britney found out she was pregnant, she exclaimed, "What's happenin', y'all?! Did I eat one-a them seeds and I'm gonna grow a watermelon in my belly again? Kevin! Kevin! Look, baby, I done sat on a bag of Cheetos. I'm so silly! Oh, shit, Sean Preston's fallen into the pool again. Someone go get him; I gotta fix my ponytail."

Lord help us.

So I finally got pictures from the other night, part deux of Burt's birthday.

We all got pretty drunk, like, come-home-at-12:30-drunk. Yeah. I think the pics do an adequate job of explaining that.

K, well... yeah. I'm going to go do nothing before I go to work. Money money money moneyyyy... MONEY!

Ok, GO!

Wow. Wowee wow wow.

In my minutes upon minutes... erm, hours upon hours... erm, forget it.

In the very limited time that I spend on the internet each day --I'm talking 30 seconds a day max-- I find a very small amount of things that I'm sure you and most of society would deem "important" or "noteworthy". This happens to be one of them. I heard President Bush watches it each day to gain insight into al-Quaeda or something like that, I wasn't paying attention. Could have been "Al Cake-a". So here you go, America: White guys performing a dance routine on treadmills. You heard me. Treadmills. It's so awesome that Mich and I were shrieking with delight. I hope that you, too, shriek. And not just because of that huge bug on your shirt. Oh, sorry, that must have been me screaming. You know, about the huge bugs everywhere. This crack is fantastic.



ANNND! If you can't get enough, here's a much older video by the same band, which actually helped them gain notoriety in the internet community.

Paranoiattack

Here's a video of The Faint performing "Paranoiattack" on Jimmy Kimmel live for no reason other than the fact that it's awesome.



Last night was one of the biggest shitshows I've had in a while. Let's just say that it involved me dancing in my front yard at 1 a.m. to Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". That should be enough information for you to go off of.