Gossipy

The other day I was telling my friend Kevin about the gay A-List celebrity rumors that floated around Hollywood all the time, and recently, I ran across this little gem. If this happened to me I would die of hilarious:

There’s an urban legend that’s gone around until no one is sure who it happened to, or if it happened at all. It was late one night, a few years ago, when a young man was walking through Union Square Park. He suddenly felt someone behind him, their hands over his eyes. When he turned in surprise, there was Bill Murray, his creased face leaning in close. Bill whispered, “No one is ever going to believe you,” and then just walked away

Amazing, right? I hope it's true, and someone turned around to Steve Zissou's crazy face.

Rentskies

So it's no secret that I'm a big time slacker and live with my parents after graduating college. But! I got a webcam in order to video chat over Gchat with my friend Mac, who lives in London, and I just had to use it for this purpose.

So my dad's study is right next to my bedroom, and we share a wall. He plays guitar almost every night, which I'm totally used to... but it still gets pretty ridiculous having someone playing guitar all the time coming through your cracked door. One time even, when I was massively hungover, I wake up from a nap to this "EEEeeeEEEEEEeeeEEEEuuuuuuuhhhhhhhEEEEEeeeeEEEeeeeuu" noise, and it turned out to my my dad's friend, who plays the BAGPIPES that was over. Bagpipes! Fuck! Anyways, I was trying to watch The Office tonight, and my dad was just going nuts on "House of the Rising Sun", so I made a video about it.

(You're gonna have to turn it up, this is the first video I've ever made, so I'm talking really quiet. And there's a weird squeaking noise, I'm not sure what to do about that.)



Jesus you guys, I feel like this:



And if you're even going to talk shit about my messy room, you can fuck off, because you obviously don't know me very well.

Puppy Cam

I don't know about you guys, but I never thought the puppies were going to grow up. Ever. Like, I was totally convinced that once these little guys grew up, they would just switch them out with new ones. Bad news: the puppies have grown up. They're 8 weeks old now! And that means that people are going to start coming and getting them! As soon as this weekend. It's kind of sad. Anyways, someone compiled a "tribute video" of the little guys, so you can relive the glory that was this meme for like 4 weeks.



(I just painted my fingernails this shade of like, dayglo yellow and I can't stop looking at my fingers when I type so this post took twice as long to type out. It's obscene.)

I'm A Zombie

I'm really tired today, kids. It's probably the snow (oh jeez, I just realized that very few of my readers live in the FTC now, that's depressing), of which we got 5 or 6 inches, that's making me so tired. Honestly, all I want to do is get stupid drunk in the middle of the day and the fact that I have no Baileys to sneak into my coffee saddens me.

Here's a comic about zombies.

But really, about a year ago, we had a snow day like this, and Melissa and I took off work at like 2 and went and played in the snow. It was amazing. We had margaritas in mugs:

(Mac, can you believe I still have that hat?!)
And then we played with innertubes/pickup trucks/dangerous ideas:

And then we took shots of Patron in the middle of the street because no one was around.

Holy crap, who wants to have a snow day with me?!!?! 6inches of snow and no one to spend it with!!! AAAAAAA!

I'm the worst employee ever.

Omgggggg you guys pugs.



Ps: does everyone remember when I would write well thought-out posts? Me neither.

Marmoset, Marmoset

This was so good that I had to post it on both Keubs and here. Like, who are the people that make these videos?!

Brain Party

These are freaking awesome:

An RC controlled Zombie and a plush, dismemberable zombie.

Edit: Also this, even though it's real scary.

Liz Lemon FTW

30 Rock has always been one of my favorite shows. It's witty and ridiculous and snarky, all while being socially relevant and intelligent. One of my favorite quotes came from the most recent episode with Steve Martin (who I admire and adore), goes something like, "Ugh, and meeting someone new? All the nodding and smiling and sibling listing! And what’s the upside? It works and you have to have a bunch of sex???"

Anyways, I was reading the Vanity Fair article about Tina Fey, and her character Liz Lemon, and this quote stuck out to me (I wonder why):

Lemon noshes on “off-brand” Mexican cheese curls called “Sabor de Soledad”—“taste of solitude.” When forced to choose between a great man and a great sandwich, she puts the sandwich first.

Atta girl.

If you see Amy?

So how many of you totally love Britney Spears now after watching her documentary on MTV? A little bit more, right? Of course, MTV hasn't been carefully cultivating her comeback for 2 years (starting with her disastrous performance where she "broke her heel", which was probably supposed to be her original comeback but she was still in Crazytown so it didn't work out, and officially beginning with her showing up and winning like 5 awards at the VMAs this year followed by a completely humanizing hour and a half long documentary). Anyways, her new album, Circus, has leaked like crazy, and it's not horrible, because pop music never really is, on the surface at least. So when I heard this song, I just had to look it up, because it made zero sense.



Listen to the words:

Love me hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are beggin’ to If You Seek Amy
Love me hate me
But can’t you see what I see
All of the boys and all of the girls are beggin’ to If You Seek Amy

When she's saying "if you seek Amy", she's really saying "F.U.C.K. me". This is even better than that, erm, self-love song she put out on the album that she had out when I was in high school. Right? I dunno, I mean, I guess you can't look too much into Britney Spears songs, but I giggled.

Oldest lolcat ever?

So, someone found this as a postcard in an antique shop, and it's from 1905. Could it be that I Can Has Cheezburger is just one giant ripoff??? Say it aint so!!!

"What's delaying my dinner" is the new lol for 2k9.

Oh, PS, I'm a badass.

Every DJ isn't going to know everything, but I kind of felt awesome on Friday.

Hangover Schmangover

I wrote a while back about a supposed "hangover cure" that involved Tylenol and Pedialyte. Well, over break, I decided to put it to the test. This is the beginning of the night, and what my purse looked like:

And I ended up at Lucky Joe's with a few friends, and according to my twitter:

Right? So that means that I was pretty drunk (we're not going to talk about how many drinks I had after I sent that at 10:44pm). So at like at 2am, after sending some really ridiculous text messages, I drank the first Pedialyte and passed out. I woke up the next morning still really drunk, no contacts (can't find them), with a splitting headache. Like, the worst headache ever. I'd honestly even venture to say that this was one of the top 3 worst hangovers I've ever had. So I choke down the second Pedialyte, search around for some Advil, debate throwing up before I take the Advil, decide against it, choke down a piece of toast... and... after a few hours, I was tired, but I was fine. Exhausted, but fine. No icky feeling in my stomach, nothing. The only drawback was the fact that if I burped at any time during the day, it would smell like apple Pedialyte, but I could handle that. So next time everyone, just go buy some of that shit, and you'll probably end up feeling alright. Or you could stop drinking, but everyone knows that's not as fun.

Ah Shit

I'm feeling pretty emo lately, about the whole job/moving/living with the rents sitch, and it's kind of bumming me out, so let's hang out, k guys? I gotta get this whole "life" thing rolling, for serious.

In other, less emo news, here's a lolcat.

THE REAL SHAQ

You guys, Shaq's Twitter is solid gold.

http://twitter.com/THE_REAL_SHAQ

"On my way to oklahoma city, gettin ready to send 2 million lbs of peanut butta to africa"
-- Shaquille O'Neal, 2k8

I'm Crazy

I don't know how many of you have noticed the "I'm Crazy" tag at the end of my posts, but it's certainly applicable to this one. There was an email chain going between a few of my friends and I, and it led to me creating and sending this picture.

This was the context:

"Anyone have any good songs to add to the Christmas playlist?"

Me: "If “All I want for Christmas is you” by Mariah Carey plays I will start fork stabbing people.

And now I know that’ll be #1 on the playlist, super. "

"Can you spell repeat?"

Me: "you don’t even know the unbridled rage that comes out of me when this song comes on."

And then this:

"Heres the playlist so far

Ugly Christmas Sweater/Housewarming Party Playlist

1) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
2) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
3) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
4) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
5) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
6) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
7) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
8) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
9) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
10) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
11) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
12) The Isley Brothers - Shout"

Aren't they sweet?

(Oh, and that's me dressed up as a zombie, I don't...usually look like that...)

"Audrina Sure Says F--k A Lot"

I've been meaning to write about these Hills recaps for a while now -- wait! Before you scroll down, which your finger is inevitably poised to do right now because come on, it's The Hills and who cares, you have to give these recaps a chance. I've stopped watching the show in favor of reading these things, because they're so witty and insightful and amazing. Like, take this line for instance:

Otherwise... Holly. Spencer. Fight. Holly. Heidi. Fight. Heidi. Spencer. Not really a fight, just a resigned and defeated admission that Spencer will never do anything right or be a good person. The details are too grim and stupid and repetitive to go into, just know that Heidi no longer has her office, just a sad little cubicle and that, when told he is a bad person by Holly, Spencer made a small quiet lost and bewildered face. Just for a moment you could see the dim glimmer of humanity sparking beneath his skin, but then the electricity was sucked back in by that Inland Empire power plant and the lights went out in Spencer again.

You guys, it's so amazing. Seriously. Read them all.

Oh, and here's this from the most recent episode. It's like 20 seconds long, so watch it or else.

O.M.G.

I can't really do a better job than this explanation, taken from Best Week Ever:

There’s really only three things you can say after seeing the following preview for a game show I am dubbing my 2008 “Reason To Live”: O. M. G.
Thanks to the good people at the Game Show Network and Meow Mix, “Think Like a Cat” is the ultimate show for single gals and suicidal ones alike, where owners are quizzed about how well they know their cats, and the “catestants” face challenges such as who can eat the most food in 60 seconds.
Needless to say, the cats have no idea what the f**k is going on. Neither does host Chuck Woolery. Who can now hopefully pay off his car loans.
The winner of Think Like a Cat gets $1 million, more than enough money to buy a lifetime supply of Cosby sweaters and lint rollers and valiums.

Oh my god, I'm gonna watch the shit out of this show.

Oh, George Michael...

I've refrained from writing about the possibility of an Arrested Development movie for a while now, just because it's been so up in the air that it might not have been worth writing about if it didn't come to fruition. However, I read on Pajiba a bit ago that everyone's on board, and that Mitch Hurwitz is working on something else, but when he's done with that, he's going to start writing a script. So I'd give it a year and a half or two years before we even start seeing trailers, if at all. Anyways, that's all well and good, but there's a hitch: Michael Cera might not even be in it. I guess he doesn't see the point in doing a movie, which is so depressing. I can't see anyone else in that role.

"Yes, it's a go," an Arrested castmember who asked not to be named tells me. "We're all very excited. And it will happen with or without the holdout."
Wait a minute...The holdout? Yes, I'm also told exclusively by multiple sources that one of the show's original castmembers has not signed on to the movie...
"Yeah, [he or she] might not do it," an actor says of this costar. "However, I do know that we will do the project with or without [him or her]."
Add that to this September quote from Michael Cera... "I don't think I would want to see a movie of the series if I was a fan anyways...and I don't really see a need for it if you can get the three seasons on DVD."

Cue sad Snoopy music...

{via CCInsider}

What Am I Even Talking About Anymore?

I blog on another blog now. We'll see how long my attention span will allow it.

http://keubs.blogspot.com/

It's fancier than mine. Le sigh.

A Cross the Universe

You guys, Justice has a live album and an hour-long documentary DVD coming out on December 8th called A Cross the Universe. I have the "Stress" track from it, and it's super great. I'm usually not a huge fan of live albums because I think they're just so repetitive and self-serving (like, "let's offer up the same songs, but sung much worse, with more screaming crowd and breathing sounds"). Electronic albums, however, seem to be the exception, as it gives the artists more room to play around with the sounds in each song. Daft Punk's Alive album is still part of the "most played" list on my iPod. Anyways, I'm super excited to steal this album off the internet (thank you, interwebs/sorry, Justice).