Ummmmm....

Since I'm not sleeping, I just wanted to post this, because this guy has found himself a nice little place in the world and I'm a little bit jealous.


I'm also jealous because I'm not a dinosaur.

I Has an Emailz

So I finally broke down and got Good Bloggie its own email address.

GoodBloggie@Gmail.com

Big time.

MY LIFE IS SO HARRRRD

Dudes, something terrible is happening to me. I'm just being shit on from every possible angle lately and I can't figure out why, like is this karmic retribution for something that I did? Probably. Anyways, I ordered a pita from Pita Pit because I haven't had it in forever and jesus, doesn't that sound good, and I realized how hungry I was and that I've got to wait 30 minutes for the delivery dude to bring it to me because I'm a lazy bitch, so I reach into my drawer for these Saltines that I stole from Spoons (stealing condiments/sugar packets/crackers is the way I'm coping with the recession), open the package, and stop.

In the plastic wrapper is one cracker. One fucking cracker! What the hell kind of a jerk at the cracker factory decided to ruin my day like this?! There should have been two! Two crackers!

God you guys. My life is so hard.

Mas Pictures

These pictures were taken at the Yelle show a little bit ago -- I forgot my camera, so I took pictures with my phone camera, which is apparently not so good. Anyways, these were the good ones that came out of the night.

There was some sort of terrible murder or robbery or something that needed an entire gas station cordoned off and I was like, "you guys, I gotta blog this!" I mean, when you gotta, you gotta. This is an an awesome photo. Why does everyone else look better in my specs than I do?!

I'm A Bad Person

You guys, I'm such a piece of shit for posting this, because this poor poodle-thing doesn't seem to have any teeth, but I laughed until I cried because it's the funniest thing I've seen all week.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Noodle Cat

Want a Slinky but don't have the time or money to buy one? Have some super slippery wooden stairs? Don't fret -- here comes Slinky Cat!



Eh. I tried.

HM 4 Life

I'm kind of phoning it in lately with my blog, but I just wanted to let everyone know how glad I have Twitter so that I can remember moments like this:

On Friday, we rounded up a bunch of dollars and then couldn't decide what to play on the TouchTunes at the Pour House. We still had a billion credits left when everyone else decided it was time to leave, so I put on 4 Hannah Montana songs in a row. Could you imagine all of the dudebros there trying to get it on with some girl while "Girls Night Out" is blaring in the background?! It was pretty awesome.

Holy Crap

You guys, I checked my email today, and this was in my inbox.

I have one follower on Twitter and it's MC freakin' Hammer. I'd say that's an accomplishment.

Des Crocodiles?

Ok, this might get a little too real for some of you guys, but whichever one of my blog readers is going to inevitably impregnate me someday, I demand that I birth this child. THIS ONE. I will accept no substitutes. Get working on the time machine/adorable French baby machine immediately.


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

[via Videogum, which called this little girl "Amelie Jr."]

Carlton?!

I apologize for the lack of posts lately, kids. With the "most important election in recent history" and the "first African-American president elected", there weren't a lot of cuddly animal videos or stupid news items. But guess what?! Below this post is a video of a baby hippo wandering around ... we're back, folks.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you guys know that my blog is pregnant, and its baby daddy is Paul Rudd.

More Baby Animals

I have a heart, okay???

RAC Vol. 1

So this is kind of a big deal you guys -- I've been trying to get back into blogging about music again, but the truth is that I haven't been listening to much new music ever since they took our headphone privileges away at work. Anyways, I'm trying to get better about it, so here's something to get you started. There are some oldies, and definitely some goodies. You can listen to it via the player below, or download it by following this link. Trust me, it's worth it.



{via Stereogum}

Do-Over

So, Halloween came around this year, and I spent it completely blacked out. Not that I'm proud of it -- I most definitely am angry at myself for being such a dumbass and drinking NOS energy drink with vodka. It's like crack, kids. Don't do it.

Anyways, this is the conversation between my friend Kevin and I. I pre-partied at the girls' house and then took a cab to the Ogden to go to the Girl Talk show, and after that, we went to a house party. I remember hanging out on the lawn a lot. Was there Frank Sinatra at some point? I don't remember. Anyways, although it was totally pathetic that we didn't remember a lot of the night, it's nice to commiserate with your friends about it:

Kevin: she's alive!!!
Me: um, I think I actually died on Friday, like what the fuck was going on
Kevin: dude, all i honestly remember was thinking was
"i'm in bad shape, but so is whitney. i'm staying on the lawn with her"
i just felt a drunken connection
Me: hahahahahahahah
I threw up behind that house, whoops
Kevin: hahahah i remember saying "i'm gonna go vom in the back" and you're like "ok good, i'm going over here"
Me: hahahahahhahahahhhhahahha
omg!
that's awesome! dude, i blacked out for like 3 hours
i dont remember the concert, i dont remember the party
i hate myself a little
Kevin: me neither
yeah, i definately had that more alcohol = more fun equation going and it FAILED ME
i cussed out a cabby
Me: ahhhahahahahahah
when???
Kevin: dude, on the way home, the cab
driver was like slamming on his brakes and i was like "there are two ways do
stop, the right way, and the fucking way you're doing it! i will puke all
over your fucking car!"
Me: HAHAHAH
fuck yeah!
being a cabbie must suck so bad around like 2am
Kevin: i woke up and found [Marc’s] ID in my wallet. neither of us know why...
Me: HAHAHAH
what a ridiculous night
Kevin: best word used to describe it yet
Me: i woke up with a huge bruise on my head and a massive scrape on my knee, ripped tights, my tail crumpled up in my purse
Kevin: hahahah $80 spent at the ogden, missing jacket, damaged dignity
thats about my toll
Me: i grabbed Kyle's wig off his head because he was complaining about it being too hot and tossed it into the crowd
and then picked a hat up off the floor and wore it to the party (?)
Kevin: HAHAHAHAHAHA
wow thats awesome
Me: dude, damnit
Kevin: at least we all can laugh about it

Damn You, Amy Winehouse!

So for a while here, I figured I was just killing it with the whole blog revamp -- I've been getting upwards of 50 hits a day for a while, which is far and above what I got before. But, according to my hit counter, someone linked a picture I posted of Amy Fucking Winehouse that I put up in passing on my blog. This damned picture keeps sending people to the Google image result on my blog, and while the publicity is nice, it's just not right. I'm not sure what to do to fix it either -- I deleted the picture, but the post is auto-cached through Google, so no dice.

So, in summation, Amy, you're ruining my life, one click at a time.

Cats, Dammit

Because this is my blog and I get to do whatever the hell I want --

A cat scooting around in an open box.

Paint

So, I don't play video games, because even though I don't have a life, I have enough of a life to "have a life" enough to not play video games. Ya dig? Anyways, this is "a 'tech demo' for a videogame that's still in development called The Unfinished Swan. You 'shoot paint' in order to navigate your way through the game's labyrinthian monochromatic levels." And it's really fucking cool.


[via Videogum]

Giant Lego Man Appears on Brighton Beach

This is pretty awesome. What if you were the one who came across this guy?

It is thought to have washed up on the beach, and was spotted by children
playing there.The Lego man is 6ft tall in red, yellow and green. It is presumed to have washed up on the beach, but whether it has come from a cargo ship or from across the Channel is not clear. Brighton resident Gerry Turner, 34, said: "It's very odd. God knows how it got here but people are saying it's from Holland because it's got some Dutch writing on it. It must have fallen off a boat of something. The kids love it." Children helped stand the Lego man up on the beach, but are still mystified as to where it came from. One said: "It's great, but we don't know why it's here." A spokesman for Brighton and Hove City Council said it didn't know the origin of the Lego man, but said it was fine for it to remain on the beach. He said: "There's no
problem at all. It will be interesting to see how long the Lego man stays there for. We'll keep an eye on it." A different giant Lego man was fished out of the sea in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort in August. That model was yellow and blue, and had the words "No real than you are" in English across its torso. That toy was said to come from England, so perhaps the Dutch decided to return the favour.

I Don't Think I'm Joking ...

Wait, what? What the fuck, JoBros?! I read this article and thought it was poking fun at the Jonas Brothers, but it seems to be legit. At least for now, I could see the backlash (also, how fucking stupid the concept is) cause them to back out of it. But still. Read on:

"The Jonas Brothers will make their first feature film in Walter the Farting Dog, reports Variety.Kevin, 20, Joe, 19, and Nick, 16, along with the Bonus Jonas (their younger brother Frankie) will star as musicians whose parents are asked to take care of a Walter, a dog with has severe flatulence problems.The film is an adaptation of the books written by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray. Filming is expected to start in the spring."

[via Just Jared]

Oh man. I don't get it. Am I too old? I really don't think that back in the day, I would see the Hanson brothers in a movie about a farting dog. Seriously?! A farting dog???

Photo Time

Do you ever go through the photos you've taken on your phone? They're the ones that you've taken because you didn't have a camera, or you wanted to get a shot quick. I was going through mine and figured I would share them with you.

The first one is a requisite New Belgium shot. These were the beers of the couple who sat next to us, where the female, upon getting tipsy on beers, wrote a postcard that went like this: "Mom, I am drunk right now. Why did you leave me when I was little?"
Which, in and of itself, is pretty sobering.

Fort Collins has this arts project that pays artists to paint utility boxes all over downtown. This is of one behind the Lyric. Where I buy my crack.

This was the epic poem that Dan wrote about our equally epic keg race this summer. Hopefully you can make it out.

This picture is also of Dan and I -- some girl with a massive purse (like I can talk) let her bag dangle over the back of our couch. Bad idea. We're like, purse sharks.

Da NA. Da NA. DaNa Dana dana dananananananaa DAAAAAAAA!

This is my step-mother, who apparently had too much fun playing Guitar Hero, and decided to take a nap mid-jam.

This was taken at the Beiruit concert in Los Angeles. I love this photo.

This is of the sky after the tornado passed by Fort Collins. Spooky.

This photo (I think) was one that I took after some German photographer took a few photos of me at Mark's house party in Austin, at the world's most unflattering angle, wearing the world's most ridiculous floppy hat. After reviewing the pictures, I sequestered myself in a room and took pictures that I liked to reassure myself that I wasn't an ogre. This was one of them.

Annnnnnd finally, this is a photo of the pier at Manhattan Beach, in California. It's a little crooked, but I love it because it was cold and no one was around, so it looks lonely and deserted.

What?

You guys, I'm tired today. I can't even think of anything clever to say about this ridiculous video.

Just watch this guy's face. Kthxbai.