YAAAAY Bloggie!!!

I just got my computer fixed -- if you're reading this, it means that you desperately clung to the hope the GB would someday return. Never fear, darlings. Whit Dizzle is here.

No, honestly, I was getting pangs of guilt for not writing. It's incredible having a computer that works. I have no idea what happened to it, it just decided to stop running most of my Microsoft applications. Which -- I don't know if you know -- is fucking everything. Anyhoo, it's nice to be back. Tip your waitress.

I just downloaded some awesome songs. I know that I try to be all hardcore and indie, but sometimes you just need to dance, or yell at the top of your lungs. These are the songs I downloaded: (I know some of them aren't super sweet, but keep in mind I haven't been able to even acquire songs for a while now.)
- Pat Benatar - I am the Warrior
- Pat Benatar - We Belong
- Pat Benatar - Hot Child in the City
- Keane - Is it Any Wonder
- Hellogoodbye - (Here) In Your Arms
- Ciara - Promise
- Akon ft. Snoop - Wanna Love You
- RHCP - Snow (Hey Oh)
And I got a new version of the Teddybears' "Yours to Keep," even though my version is still the best. I also made the most kickass CD, and I was going to post the track listing, but I just don't have the patience for it.

The past couple of days, I've been drinking my face off. Thursday, we went to Sullivan's for 4-for-1's, which I ended up having 17032o47 of. Ugh. The next day, my friend Deanna and I decided that the only thing that was going to make us feel better was a huge burger and fries with a beer at Pott's. It was glorious. Then, we went with Andy and Amy to Andy's house, and tried to watch Talldega Nights, but every single one of us ended up falling asleep on our respective couches. Andy had built this ramp with a kicker at the end out of snow in his backyard and everyone took turns going off of it and usually crashing. We then decided to start drinking at like, 6 or 7, and drank straight through dinner. I'm an idiot. A "dance-on-the-bar, accidentally-pour-shots-down-my-face, pee-in-an-alley" idiot. Damnit. It sure was fun.

My dad got me a home theatre system for christmas, so we came and set it up the other day... it's absoloutely fabulous. I've been watching everything I can with the sound way up and giggling whenever the sub rattles the floor.

Break is almost over, what the fuck?

Yet another internet-dictated choice of mine, The View rocks. They're a band from Scotland, and they're all like, 20ish. They have a sound thats kind of... One Man Army meets the Hold Steady. Just watch the video.



Well, my stomach is getting angry. If I don't eat like, every 20 minutes, I fall over and die. True story.
Ok, not true, but I'm still hungry.
I'm going to keep Good Bloggie up this time, kids, I promise.


I'm gonna leave you with this ridiculously awesome mashup between Billy Idol's "White Wedding" and Justin Timberlake's "Like I Love You."

Here A Bar, There A Bar...

So, kiddies, sorry I haven’t been writing lately. I have been kind of boring, doing a lot of school stuff, and my computer is just insanely broken. It takes at least a hundred years for it to do anything, which is not very condusive to blogging. Anyhoo, my friend Brandon has been overseas for like, a year now, and asked me to compile a list of the bars in Fort Collins for him… so, here we go:

Whit Dizzle’s Guide to the Fort Collins Bar Scene... for Shizzle


I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the bar scene here, because I’ve been 21 for about four months now, and had been going to the bars for about 4 months before that. Don’t tell my mom. I usually find myself drawn to bars that have good drink prices, or a good atmosphere.

I’m going to start on College Avenue, and work my way down. The first bar of note is Tony’s. Tony’s is an interesting bar… It’s pretty big, with a bunch of tables, and about 3 or 4 pool tables. There’s an outdoor patio, which isn’t much use when the weather is like, 30 degrees like it has been. They have really good shot specials -- $2.00 for Rumplemintz, Cuervo, and Jager shots all the time. On Wednesdays, they have incredible beer specials -- $1.00 for all domestics and Fort Collins Micros. However, if you are a guy, you’re going to find yourself at a 5-to-1 guy to girl ratio. If you’re a girl, this is fantastic, and seeing as beers are only one dollar, you can usually get most of your drinks bought for you. On all other nights, however, the scene kind of changes and you begin to realize what Tony’s is all about – being creepy. I swear to god, they let homeless people in -- it’s not a regular night at Tony’s unless you’re completely grossed out by someone in the bar. Although if you can look past that, it’s a pretty fun bar… you’ll always hear “Don’t Stop Believin,’” which pretty much excuses everything else.

Continuing down College, cross the street and you come upon The Drunken Monkey. This bar is unlike most of the others in town. They don’t seem to realize that college students are poor, and charge an outrageous price for their drinks. Their selling point is that they have these swings that hang right in front of the bar. They are cool, yes, but they kick you off if you’re too drunk or you’ve ordered more than three drinks. There’s some sort of weird cage that you can get your drunken friends thrown into… I dunno, I’ve only been there 3 or 4 times. It’s fun, but only if someone else is buying your drinks.

Almost next door is Old Chicago – the best place to grab a beer and pizza with your friends. They have a pretty big bar with a ton of TV’s, so if you get there early enough, you can get a seat and watch the Broncos or the Avs games. They have insane happy hour specials, and since my roommate Michelle works there, we usually get an additional discount, which is sweet. They usually have good beer specials, because they have like 30 beers on tap, including a lot of locals that you can’t find anywhere else.

Down College, taking a left on Mountain, you will find yourself at the Rio Grande. I’m sure everyone knows about their ridiculous margaritas and their not-so-good food, so I won’t spend a long time on them. Let’s just say they cut you off at three margaritas, which have about three shots of tequila in them each. The margs there are a bit pricey – about $5.50 for the regular ones and $3.50 for the smaller ones.

Across the street, you have Stakeout and Trailhead. Most people think that these two bars are interchangeable, but I don’t really think so. I love Stakeout, and don’t really care for Trailhead. Stakeout is a totally chill bar, with two pool tables upstairs and shuffleboard and dartboards downstairs. On Fridays, you can get Blue Moon and Major Tom’s for $2.00. Don’t get the Major Tom’s – after about three of them you feel like you’ve been drinking syrup. The basement of Stakeout is awesome because it’s this tiny room with a tiny bar and terrible wallpaper with fish on it. It is literally like you’re partying in someone’s grandma’s basement. It’s really cozy though, and you can hang out with your friends without having to yell at the top of your lungs. Trailhead is (sorry, Trailhead fans) a big time hippy bar. It’s really, really relaxed. I was waiting for the bathroom once and some hippy girl came in and stuck her face under the faucet and just started drinking water straight from it. So, if you’re into that, you’ll fit right in.

Leaving Trailhead and walking down Mountain, and turning right back onto College, you’ll find yourself at the Town Pump. This bar is awesome because the bar area is probably 20 feet by 20 feet. There are about 15-20 stools in the whole bar – it’s literally a hole in the wall. The specialty there are these maraschino cherries that are soaked in everclear – something other bars don’t have that will surely get you drunk. (That is, if you can fit all of your friends into the damn place.)

A few doors down from the Town Pump is the Vault. It’s called “the Vault” because it is in an old building that used to house a bank. It’s one of those places that has a really authentic “Fort Collins” feel. It’s pretty small, but it has a fireplace, and sometimes they have a DJ in the front. It’s a really relaxed, chill place, with a small bar.

Close to the Vault, you’ll see Surfside 7. I’ve only been there once, and it’s a bar with a definite scene – when I went there, they were blasting Alkaline Trio and I was instantly excited. It’s usually filled with people in their mid-20’s, all with tattoos and piercings and black shirts. I want to go back; I just can’t get any of my damn friends to go with me.

Going up college, and taking a left is Washington’s (more affectionately known as “Wash Bar”) I’ve actually never been to Wash Bar on any other night than Thursdays, which is college night. Before 10:00, they have a $4.00 cover, where you can drink all you want. After 10:00, there is a $3.00 cover, and ridiculous drink specials. It’s like, $2.00 for beers and singles, and $3.00 for doubles and long islands. They also have these monster beers (I’m talking like, 40 something ounces) for $4.00. It’s a huge place, so a lot of people always go.

Meandering back to College, and then taking a left onto Linden, you’ll find a few places. First, I’ll mention Suhiro, which isn’t a bar, but they have amazing sushi (and really great lunch specials) and sake bombs. It’s a little expensive to drink sake, but it is such a fun thing to do every so often.

Across the street is Elliot’s Martini Bar. This place is sweet. It’s pretty small, and kind of swanky, but the martinis are fabulous. They have long, comfy booths and brick walls. Their drinks run a little bit expensive, but if you want to, you can get them to make any of their martinis into shots.

Walking down Linden and across the street, you’ll find yourself in the square. On your left is Zydeco’s, a place that my friends and I have found ourselves at a lot lately. They play a lot of hip-hop music that you can dance to, and they let you dance on the bar there, which is so much fun. The only downside is that the bartenders are raging bitches. Seriously. I’ve never had a positive experience with any of them there, I have no idea why. I consider myself a really good tipper and haven’t ever said anything bitchy, so it’s a damn mystery. I never have cash on me and always use my debit card when I go out, and they have this damn $10.00 minimum rule. I bought two shots of tequila once, which was $6.00, and the bartender refused to run my card for less than $10.00, even after I asked her like, 4 times to just run the damn thing. She ended up running the my card for $10.00, essentially giving herself like, a 65% tip. Bitch. That’s why I always bring cash when I go there now. Across the square, there is Suite 152, which is totally overpriced and filled with weird people, so I’m not going to even get into it.

Finally, we have Lucky Joe’s. This is far and above my favorite bar. They have such a fun and relaxed atmosphere, pretty good drink prices, and on weekends, they usually have a live band. The best part about Lucky Joes? Peanuts. They have a huge barrel of them that you can eat and throw and balance on your nose if you want to. I actually have a saying about Lucky’s: “It’s not a good night unless you come home with peanuts in your purse.” More often than not, I’ll find like, three crushed peanuts in my pocket or purse the next day.

Whoo. So there you have it, the bars in Foco. I’m sure I left some out, but I think this list is comprehensive enough. Hopefully those of you who are familiar with the scene will try some new bars out, and those of you who were completely unfamiliar with them feel more acquainted.

Also, below are the drink specials for most of the bars here. You're welcome.

Wait. Aren’t I supposed to be studying?! Damnit.