"Do You Wanna Drink Some Alcohol?"

This is my favorite part about being a (quote unquote) "blogger" -- at the point where people no longer answer their phones (it being 2:27 in the a.m.), I still have someone to talk to. That's you, baby. Ohhhh yeah.

Honestly, I've spent this entire break being a drunk. (I'm actually wondering at this point why my bloody eyes won't focus -- must be a problem with my computer screen. Yeah, if I close one eye, it stops spinning around the room. I win, computer.) I don't mean to, I mean, I enjoy imbibing, but honestly, I'm totally aware of what it's doing to my mind and body -- I was smarter in high school, when I would get made fun of for using "big words", that weren't really big to me. On Friday, CSU beat Wyoming, which led us to winning the "bronze boot". It was being carried around Lucky Joe's, and I thought it would be a really good idea to drink my beer out of it. Bad news, Whitney -- the thing is an actual old-ass BOOT -- bronzed and attached to a pedestal. This, unfortch, made me plow into the bathroom and make the difficult decision to pull the trigger. Pull the trigger I did, and I definitely felt worse for the wear for it. Apparently, later, I was attempting to remove a brick from the wall, which I was positive would lead me to a secret treasure, or passageway. Couldn't remove it, but did gain a valuable insight into myself; apparently, when I drink, I don't give a fuck. Truth.

So tonight, we went to the Rio, where I ran into my entire high school. Okay, there were only like, 75 of us; however, I was confronted with the realization that I a) wasn't very (conventionally) tight in high school, and b) that I was alright with that, as the people who were were that kind of kids that would still make me feel terrible about myself 5 years later were still terrible, unconfident assholes. I swear, kids like that are so self-conscious that they get off on being withholding (thank you, Buster Bluth) -- the kind of people who have been validated their entire lives for being attractive that cannot, cannot handle being face-to-face with someone who is completely comfortable with themself; the kind of person who has no problem being fucking nerdy and identifying with other people like that, and not giving a fuck what they're doing or look like.

Wow. That was a rant... you know; when you get drunk, and you ramble, you get super intense about what you're talking about, right? Right?

Anyways, I made my friend Dan an epic dance mix -- not only did it include my favorite french dance song, "Je Veux Te Voir", but it included this song... amaymay:



"Like, uhhh -- I'm perfect; push it, push it; watch me work it!" So good. I think that if I stripped for a living, this would be my song. Too much? I dunno.

Oh, also, this fits with the theme of the night; we spent like 20 minutes screaming "JAGA BOMBS!!!" at anyone who would listen. This would explain:



And that would be about it. Good night!

Oy Vey.

This weekend was so freaking packed with ridiculous shit, I can't even believe it. I went down to Denver to chill -- Friday, we went to this amazing new bar. The best (and worst) part about it was that it was just like being in Fort Collins. It was so nice to walk into a place and feel comfortable instead of feeling like I needed 4 less layers of clothing. Saturday was shaping up to be amazing, but then, um, my friend Diana got hit by a car. The person that was driving was probably drunk, accelerated, couldn't brake, and she couldn't cross the street fast enough. The car hit her side, made her cartwheel in the air, and she landed on her face. She's alright now, had to go by ambulance to a hospital and we were there till 6am. She lost halves of a few teeth, and has a huge gash on her very broken nose, but she wasn't seriously hurt. Thank god.

Oh, on Thursday I randomly got my Tragus pierced. Don't know what that is? It's the flappy part of your ear that is attached to your head, by your cheek. I got it done for free in exchange for letting my step-sister's friend practice, because she's apprenticing at a tattoo/piercing place. It barely even hurt, and now I have a sweet little diamond stud there. Woot.

Who out of you knew that Quentin Tarantino got his start on the Golden Girls? Yep, sure enough, he was cast as an Elvis impersonator... just goes to show you that everyone has to start somewhere. Apparently he was able to be more choosy with his roles because of it; every month he would get a check for a few hundred dollars, which was a lot for an aspiring director in Hollywood. I've always liked Tarantino's movies, even though I always preface my approval with the judgement that they're mostly knockoffs, erm, homages to movies that have already been done. That's one thing that he does well; he takes something good and manipulates it into something even better. Kill Bill is still one of my favorite movies, because the dialogue, fight scenes, and general imagery are seriously awesome.



I got sweet black-rimmed glasses today; my hipster transformation is underway. I haven't decided yet if that's a good thing.

If you're a dedicated reader of Good Bloggie, you may be aware of my like and/or dislike of zombie movies. My obsession with them started as a reaction to these long, terrifying dreams I was having. In these dreams, I was being chased by the bloodthirsty undead, and was never able to get away -- all I could do was hide. Strangely enough, they got more and more sporadic when I finally fought back (with the help of George W. Bush and a pasta strainer). Anyways, I started watching as many zombie movies as I could bare in order to sort of flush my fear of them out of my head -- I figured I would numb myself to them and I wouldn't be afraid anymore. It didn't really work, but I gained a great appreciation for the genre, despite my general hated of all things "horror". I was reading something today and it referenced George Romero -- director of the original zombie movie Night of the Living Dead. Apparently, he's got a new movie in the works. From Wikipedia:

The film will be the fifth film in Romero's "dead series". However, in "an attempt to re-establish a lucrative franchise," the film will, technically and philosophically, be a reboot, "a rejigging of the myth [sic]" says Romero. Even though the fourth film, Land of the Dead, was studio-produced through Universal Studios, Diary of the Dead was produced by Romero-Grunwald Productions, formed by Romero and his producer friend Peter Grunwald, with Artfire Films.

The plot will be about " group of film students that are making an independent mummy horror film when they become trapped in a world being consumed by flesh-eating zombies. They then turn their attention toward making the film into a documentary on their real life horror experience."

I don't know how many of you saw 28 Weeks Later, or its predecessor, 28 Days Later. The sequel was absoloute shit. I mean that. It took away from the original "what the fuck is out there" feeling by sort of humanizing the "infected" individuals, thus making them something entirely different than what they are -- brainless, hungry creatures that are really fucking fast. Apparently a third movie is in the works, and is being directed by "Weeks" director Danny Boyle. This is not good news. The original directing was so good, and the concept was promising, putting a spin on an old idea. So yeah, in 2009, don't see it. Well, unless I tell you to.

I have been following a particularly maddening and depressing story lately, one that explores the relationships that people form with complete strangers over the internet. It is about a 13-year old girl named Megan Meier, who killed herself after being abruptly dismissed by a boy she met on MySpace. The boy, it turns out, didn't even exist, and ended up being the creation of an ex-friend's mother, who was trying to figure out why Megan was fighting with her daughter. There was nothing her parents could do -- laws that prosecute internet bullies barely exist. Here's a video from CNN if you want to watch it. This is the kind of thing that freaks me out; occasionally I wonder who, exactly, is reading this blog, and what they do with the information. So, um, if you're a creep, fuck off. Yeah.

There was a movie that was screened at Sundance this year, called Teeth. It's a film about a woman with "female dentata"... teeth, erm, down there. It's just being released in New York and L.A., and will see a wider release next month. Would you go see it? I mean, how bizarre is that concept? I guess it got its start as a "warning" for men not to have sex with strange women. But damn. Here's the trailer -- oh, and by the way, it's being billed as a horror/comedy movie. I don't like, hate men or anything.

Haha, god damnit YouTube:

Tochin (2 hours ago)
"so when she's douching...is she really brushin her teef at the same time?"

Side note, I was watching a documentary on The History Channel about Adolf Hitler and his secret diseases; apparently he was addicted to a medicine that contained (among other things) a form of Meth, and was suffering from the effects of Syphilis (which was shutting down his nervous sytem over time). Kind of interesting in hindsight.

Well, this has been a sufficiently random and bizarre post. I'm going to bed. Night!

Do Juno?

I've had this trailer patiently waiting in my drafts for a chance to be included on my blog. It's not because it fits with a particular theme, just that I kept forgetting to put it up here until I unfortunately began seeing it in the theatres. Damnit! I hate not being on top of things. The movie, Juno, seems promising. Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, pregnant chick, awesome. (On a side note, good old Mikey and I were friends on MySpace until Superbad came out, and then he mysteriously defriended me. Sad. I guess it's for the best -- 22 years old and I'm still stalking strangers via MySpace. Cut. It. Out.)



While searching for that trailer, I ran across this video -- Nascargot -- NASCAR with snails. Snails are so much creepier in fast forward!!!



I don't know how many of you spend hours in front of a computer, legs twitching, hands absent-mindedly typing " http://www.facebook.com/ " into the address bar of your browser over and over like I do (come to think of it, I don't know how many of you have raging undiagnosed ADD like I do, either), but I spend a good chunk of time on YouTube. I ran across this web series called "We Need Girlfriends". It's about three guys who recently graduated college and were dumped by their long-term girlfriends. It's really earnest and goofy without trying too hard, and very well acted, considering its audience is the type of person who randomly surfs YouTube. Ouch. Anyways, they're on hiatus right now, but I ran across an article stating that they had been picked up by CBS. I was so proud! CBS has actually done some really interesting stuff, like picking up the Clark and Michael web series. It's cool, because the rest of their shows seem to be really, erm, old-person-centered. Anyways, I hope it doesn't suck, so that in a year or so you can be like, "Oh, shoot, I saw that shit on Good Bloggie ages ago. Guurrrrlll" with or without the attitude. Here's an episode for you to check out.



Oh, there's a really good song at the end of one of the episodes (because, of course, I'm rewatching all of the epidsodes in lieu of trying to figure out what the hell "cationic paramagnetic beads" are and what they do) by a guy who calls himself Plushgun -- he's a pretty cool artist out of Brooklyn. Here's the song:

No...vember

I'm a bad child. No posts yet this month. I have no idea why I feel like I have to apologize for it, but I have been catching some flack lately, so I'm....sorry?

This week has not been fun. I've been stressed and a wee bit under the weather, which does not bode well for trolling the internet in search of entertainment.

I've realized that I put so much random information in my brain that never translates itself to my blog, perhaps because most of it is so random and irrelevant that no one but myself may actually care. However, I watch shows like "The Soup", and realize that most of the topics are rarely new to me. In an effort not to copy the style of individuals like Perez Hilton, and simply regurgitate gossip while drawing coke-noses on celebrities, I decided that I may just jump back on the constantly changing celebuturd machine. (Hopefully, if you are a long-standing reader of this blog, you may know that that was, in fact, the slightly embarassing way that Good Bloggie got its start.) I've realized that in attempting to reach whatever audience I may have, I've gotten almost too broad. My readership is mostly male, and I think in an effort to cater to that, I got a little off track. The fact that it is broad is something that I like about my blog (because that seems to be the way my brain works), but I miss being snarky and writing comments like this one from one of my first posts, about Sarah Jessica Parker's dress:




"You'd have to be pretty brave to wear this. Sarah Jessica Parker wore this tragic tartan over a beige strapless gown recently at The Costume Institute Gala. I'm not sure why, the dress itself is very pretty, although a bit too beige for my liking. Did she look at herself in the mirror before she left and think "jesus, this plaid blanket makes me ooze glamour!" or were the horrified screams of her stylist just muffled by the crinkling of all the material?! "









I crack me up. Anyways, I think I've set myself up for too much, and anything I say may be construed as trying too hard, so I'll just jot down a few bits and pieces.

• Paris Hilton, in a misguided effort to seem more worldly than she may be, has become consumed with the plight of elephants in northeast India. This, by itself, is kind of admirable -- however, Paris isn't focused on poaching or the encroachment of urban cities; she's concerned about drunk elephants. You heard me. A random occurrence of four elephants getting into some homemade wine on a farm, uprooting an electricity pole and subsequently electrocuting themselves has somehow worked its way into Paris' Blackberry, under "Shit I Really Need to be Concerned About". Never mind the overwhelming poverty level and the overcrowding of major cities -- dearest Paris wants to save the elephants. And not even the pink ones. You see those too, right?
  


• Remember Britney's VMA performance? How could you not? The wobbly heel, Barbie doll extensions and miniature shorts are probably burned into your mind forever. But, floating around the internet is a video of the way it was supposed to be. Someone taped the routine using a stand-in (presumably because Ms. Spears couldn't be bothered to look up from her trough-o-margaritas to show up) and released it, albeit a little belated after all the hooplah. Ah, what could have been.
  
  
  


• I'm terribly sorry to inform you that "Crank Dat" by our favorite 17-year-old rapper, Souldja Boy, has officially jumped the shark. See for yourself. (Unfortch, you're going to have to click the link. When I tried to embed the video, my internet explorer bombed out on me. Four times. ) http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1784347


• Advantages of working in a cubicle: none. Disadvantages: whenever you cough or sneeze, someone asks you to do something. I coughed like, 5 minutes ago and now I've got like 2 new things to do.
  
• Good Bloggie, in spite of my pirate mouth, seems to be made for children. I entered the URL into a "readability test engine", and came up with this:
  
  
  

Either that or it thinks you and I are stupid. We aren't, are we? No we're not! Nooo we're not!

• I've decided to quit Facebook for a few days. Sure, that sounds lame -- baby steps, my friends. Baby steps. I'm sick of wasting my time looking people I don't want to look at and people who are too drunk to see. I changed my password to something totally random and then hid a sticky note from myself, as I have no self-control. Should be interesting.

Well, I've been at work for a while and haven't done any real work. Off I go to save the elephants!