Damn You, Amy Winehouse!

So for a while here, I figured I was just killing it with the whole blog revamp -- I've been getting upwards of 50 hits a day for a while, which is far and above what I got before. But, according to my hit counter, someone linked a picture I posted of Amy Fucking Winehouse that I put up in passing on my blog. This damned picture keeps sending people to the Google image result on my blog, and while the publicity is nice, it's just not right. I'm not sure what to do to fix it either -- I deleted the picture, but the post is auto-cached through Google, so no dice.

So, in summation, Amy, you're ruining my life, one click at a time.

Cats, Dammit

Because this is my blog and I get to do whatever the hell I want --

A cat scooting around in an open box.

Paint

So, I don't play video games, because even though I don't have a life, I have enough of a life to "have a life" enough to not play video games. Ya dig? Anyways, this is "a 'tech demo' for a videogame that's still in development called The Unfinished Swan. You 'shoot paint' in order to navigate your way through the game's labyrinthian monochromatic levels." And it's really fucking cool.


[via Videogum]

Giant Lego Man Appears on Brighton Beach

This is pretty awesome. What if you were the one who came across this guy?

It is thought to have washed up on the beach, and was spotted by children
playing there.The Lego man is 6ft tall in red, yellow and green. It is presumed to have washed up on the beach, but whether it has come from a cargo ship or from across the Channel is not clear. Brighton resident Gerry Turner, 34, said: "It's very odd. God knows how it got here but people are saying it's from Holland because it's got some Dutch writing on it. It must have fallen off a boat of something. The kids love it." Children helped stand the Lego man up on the beach, but are still mystified as to where it came from. One said: "It's great, but we don't know why it's here." A spokesman for Brighton and Hove City Council said it didn't know the origin of the Lego man, but said it was fine for it to remain on the beach. He said: "There's no
problem at all. It will be interesting to see how long the Lego man stays there for. We'll keep an eye on it." A different giant Lego man was fished out of the sea in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort in August. That model was yellow and blue, and had the words "No real than you are" in English across its torso. That toy was said to come from England, so perhaps the Dutch decided to return the favour.

I Don't Think I'm Joking ...

Wait, what? What the fuck, JoBros?! I read this article and thought it was poking fun at the Jonas Brothers, but it seems to be legit. At least for now, I could see the backlash (also, how fucking stupid the concept is) cause them to back out of it. But still. Read on:

"The Jonas Brothers will make their first feature film in Walter the Farting Dog, reports Variety.Kevin, 20, Joe, 19, and Nick, 16, along with the Bonus Jonas (their younger brother Frankie) will star as musicians whose parents are asked to take care of a Walter, a dog with has severe flatulence problems.The film is an adaptation of the books written by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray. Filming is expected to start in the spring."

[via Just Jared]

Oh man. I don't get it. Am I too old? I really don't think that back in the day, I would see the Hanson brothers in a movie about a farting dog. Seriously?! A farting dog???

Photo Time

Do you ever go through the photos you've taken on your phone? They're the ones that you've taken because you didn't have a camera, or you wanted to get a shot quick. I was going through mine and figured I would share them with you.

The first one is a requisite New Belgium shot. These were the beers of the couple who sat next to us, where the female, upon getting tipsy on beers, wrote a postcard that went like this: "Mom, I am drunk right now. Why did you leave me when I was little?"
Which, in and of itself, is pretty sobering.

Fort Collins has this arts project that pays artists to paint utility boxes all over downtown. This is of one behind the Lyric. Where I buy my crack.

This was the epic poem that Dan wrote about our equally epic keg race this summer. Hopefully you can make it out.

This picture is also of Dan and I -- some girl with a massive purse (like I can talk) let her bag dangle over the back of our couch. Bad idea. We're like, purse sharks.

Da NA. Da NA. DaNa Dana dana dananananananaa DAAAAAAAA!

This is my step-mother, who apparently had too much fun playing Guitar Hero, and decided to take a nap mid-jam.

This was taken at the Beiruit concert in Los Angeles. I love this photo.

This is of the sky after the tornado passed by Fort Collins. Spooky.

This photo (I think) was one that I took after some German photographer took a few photos of me at Mark's house party in Austin, at the world's most unflattering angle, wearing the world's most ridiculous floppy hat. After reviewing the pictures, I sequestered myself in a room and took pictures that I liked to reassure myself that I wasn't an ogre. This was one of them.

Annnnnnd finally, this is a photo of the pier at Manhattan Beach, in California. It's a little crooked, but I love it because it was cold and no one was around, so it looks lonely and deserted.

What?

You guys, I'm tired today. I can't even think of anything clever to say about this ridiculous video.

Just watch this guy's face. Kthxbai.

Let It Rock

Sooooooo, I guess this is a popular song right now (?)... but I like it. Yes, it is quite good.

I mean, what else do you say about a video with Lil Wayne playing guitar in it? Did you see him on SNL? Can he actually play the guitar? Who knows.

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For the Mens

This is a totally ridiculous and completely hilarious blog.
And it's called Boner Party. I can't really describe it, you'll just have to go there, but the guys who write it -- awesome.

Confession

Sure, sure, I love me some obscure indie music. But sometimes I'm such a gay man with my music tastes. Case in point:

Ewwwwwww.

October 22, 2008 --
A SLEW of young celebs enjoyed the pool at Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel over the weekend - oblivious to the fact that the hotel staff never drained the water after a dead body was found in the pool a week earlier, sources said.

At 4:30 a.m. Monday Oct. 13, Jordan Nagler, 30, a Rockville Centre, LI, native who was the executive director of International Student Exchange in Babylon, was found dead in the hotel's Tropicana Bar pool. Ed Winter, assistant chief of investigations for the Los Angeles County coroner's office, told The Post's David Finnigan: "He was found at the bottom of the pool wearing swimming trunks. The staff at the hotel found him, but we don't know who actually removed him from the pool."

A Page Six source told us that days after Nagler's body was found, "The hotel management had a meeting, where they told staffers the pool didn't need to be drained" because "there was enough chlorine in it to kill the bacteria." The tipster added, "Following the tragedy, the hotel held a meeting with employees of the Roosevelt, Teddy's [the club inside the hotel] and Tropicana Bar." Staffers were instructed not to "say anything to anyone" because, "We don't want this to get out."

One week later, the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson, Eve, Kevin Connolly and Stacy Keibler "were swimming in the unchanged water," our source added.

On Monday, Justin Long, Sarah Chalke, Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks were there for an Effen Vodka-hosted party. Stephen Brandman, chief operating officer of
Thompson Hotels, which owns the Roosevelt, called reports about not draining the pool and shushing the staff "urban legend." He told us, "Somebody did die, but we don't think anything awkward or bizarre occurred. He had a heart attack." Winter said the cause of death was undetermined. An LA cop told Finnigan there's no homicide investigation and the death "could be a result of alcohol consumption."

{story via Page Six}

Squeeeeeeeeee

I'm really sorry, male Good Bloggie readers, but holy shit a mouse with a teddy bear.

"One way or another, Commander Caiin was getting out of the forest"

Wow. This is amazing.

{image via PowerPig}

I Broke the Internet

After posting that video of the dog blowing bubbles with its nose, I can't seem to find anything that's even remotely close to being as awesome. I think someone finally broke the internet.

OMG. No, wait. I just remembered that I never posted the most bizarre video I've ever seen.



I literally had no idea if the tears I was crying after watching this were of laughter or sadness.

Desperate Times; Desperate Measures

I think at this point, we should all invest in puppies.

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

Bubbles

This is by far one of the best -- and weirdest -- videos I've seen lately. I think I've watched it like 5 times already and I found it like 3 minutes ago.



Wow, thanks internet.

Holy Crap

This kid just knows he's ridiculous.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

It's Only Fair

If Joe the Plumber gets tax breaks, so should Bob the Builder. Just sayin'.

Specs

So, apparently I don't sleep anymore. Anyways, I got these new specs, and every inch of me wants to wear them all the time -- ironically. Of course. Never without a speck of irony.

This is What Twitter Is For

So I've been trying to sell everyone on the whole Twitter thing, because I feel like a loser with no internet friends. I keep running across this Twitter, from "Michael Bay". Every day it gets better and better.





Seriously, go. My favorite? "I've decided to change the title to 'Friday the 12th: Revenge of Tomorrow'."

How could you not love that?

Robocop on a Unicorn

Only the internet could bring us an amazing photo set on flickr like this: Robocop on a Unicorn.

Or this mildly disturbing photo, which essentially destroyed my childhood after one glance:

I actually kind of love that someone broke out the watercolors in order to make that.

"Say A Command"

What is it about the voice dialing feature on cell phones that just make you want to swear? I always find myself hitting the button by accident and then yelling, “shit! fuck! cock!” into my phone to see who it thinks I’m calling.

Work Schmerk

Ah, the life of the Underworked and the Underutilized:

Mike: so what's on the docket for you today, Whitty?
Me: Hmmm
writing new blog posts
editing a site that I'm helping out with
shuffling some papers around on my desk
watching project runway
hiding projects I haven't done in drawers
mickles1013: radical
busy!
Mike: I’m sitting on a chair and thinking about eating cereal
me: oh, what kind?

We need real jobs.

Upside Down Dogs

I check I Can Has Cheezburger like two, maybe three times a day. It never fails to make my mood better -- I can hear their little cat voices and strange grammar in my head when I read the captions, really. (That is sad, but what's a blog without self disclosure, right?) But! I think that I’ve found an even better internet meme to occupy my time. These, my friends, are upside-down dogs.

Boxcars

So I guess I am going to the Red Bull Soapbox race in Denver next weekend – sounds fun. I’ve been making a concerted effort to do different things that I normally wouldn’t do – I’ve been spending time in coffee shops, at the park, at the Lyric, all places I never really went before. I’m just finding so many things to do instead of lay around and watch stuff like Felicity with my roommates like I used to.

Anyways, since I've divulged this information, no one go there and kill me, okay?

Awesome.

Some things are made to be great, like this Facebook Marketplace listing.

$0.05/hr - Jug Player, Wash Board Player, Kazoo Player, & Spoon Player
Listed by Larissa Smith on August 4th.
Jobs - Skilled Trade/Craft 0 views Report

We are looking to start a sweet ass band called Leaky Uterus. Need people who know how to play the Jugs, washboard, kazoo, and spoons. Pay is 5 cents an hour with a tootsie roll at the end of the night. ONLY serious offers wanted.Hours: Part-TimeThis job pays at an hourly rate

Listed at Colorado State.

This is Sand

I found out about this really cool website -- a great timewaster, if you've got it. It's called ThisIsSand -- remember those little colored sand creatures you used to make at fairs? Well, this is kind of like it. I made a picture, it's terrible, but you get the gist.

(Tips: double click if you want a constant flow of sand, or hold the mouse button down. Press the "C" key to change colors.)

Fail

Really, guy? Really?

We Got Screwed by Being Born in the 80's

When I was little, I had toys that I thought were great, like Lincoln Logs, Teddy Ruxpin, and this giant bouncy horse on springs that I always managed to pinch my hand in. Pretty cool, right? WRONG.

Kids these days can have a $300 fucking Triceratops wander around their playroom. Life is so not fair.



I'm starting a lemonade stand and saving up for this. Mark my words.

Look at Me! Look at Me! Look at Me!

I just remembered that Blogger has a video upload function. This is cool. Here is a video of some of us on our way downtown Denver -- watch it 'till the end; Colin and Kyle are hilarious. Also, sorry if you hate me after watching it. Actually, sorry if you hate Michelle for screaming so much.

Just in case you didn't watch it, (which you most likely didn't) here's a picture of a monkey with some baby tigers.

Follow Me

Ok, honestly, is anyone in this bloody town on Twitter? It's another one of those narcissistic internet things that I seem to be into, and, erm, everyone else on the internet has one, so where the hell is yours? So who is willing to get a Twitter account so that I wouldn't have "0 Followers" on the side of my page anymore? And hey! We could have inside jokes with each other. ON THE INTERNET!!! I'll pass you a note or something in Trig if you want, too.

But really? Anyone?

http://twitter.com/WhitD

A Lesson Learned

So -- I have some crazy friends. Some are more crazy than others, like my friend, er, well ... it's better if you don't know.

[redacted] : want to hear hilarous story?
so the three of us meet these two girls from out of town
we hang out for the whole night, having a good time
amazingly, they are willing to come back to my house with the three of us, despite them having to ride in a [redacted tiny vehicle] to get there
[redacted]: so we're leaving downtown and this homeless guy is like, 'you need some weed?'
and I'm like, yeah!
Me: oh jesus
[redacted]: yeah
so anyways, I follow this guy, he lead me behind a corner, tells me not to bring the four other people with us
Me: oh fucking a
[redacted]: I give him the money, he goes around the corner and then he comes back
and takes out of his mouth and gives to me, a crack rock
Me: NO
EW hobo spit!
[redacted]: and I'm like 'what the fuck am I going to do with this!?'
I wanted weed!
so he is like, “okay give me this back,” and puts it back in his mouth!
and then he returns with two dollars, and I'm telling him how that’s not going to cut it
Me: [REDACTED]!!!
[redacted]: :)
Me: this is what you get when you try to buy weed from a homeless man!
[redacted]: so he's like 'okay I can sell this' goes around the corner and comes back with like four dollars and I just called it a day
I was like, fine, whatevs, I made bad decisions
me: how much did you give him???
[redacted]: $30
got back $9
Me: Hah!
[redacted]: THEN...I get back to the girls and turns out that one of them freaked out about me buying weed and was like 'I just want to go back to the hotel'
so not only did we lose money, not get weed, we also got no pussy
Me: hahahaha
[redacted], you are a crazy motherfucker
[redacted]: yeah in retrospect it sounds like a bad idea

So there you go kids. Lesson: don't buy drugs from the homeless.

Who Gives A Fuck About an Oxford Comma

Sometimes I just look random things up on YouTube to see what people say when they're commenting. So when I looked up the lyrics for a Vampire Weekend song, this comment caught my eye:

this song is about givin out about a pretentious nd vain person. .. . the person
caring about the use of an "oxford comma"(serial comma)again wit "all ur diction
dripping wit disdain" meaning sum1 talking condescendingly about grammar then
the reference to the dalai lama nd those who hav criticised his english &
the references to "check ur passport" nd applying chapstick is again about
vanity lyk check ur passport photo nd cover cracked lips nd again wit "adjust my
tie" as in the person is thinking about presentability nd slightly neurotic. . .
. . nd finally wit show ur paintings at the UN is again about bragging nd
vanity. . . . . anyone agree?

Most certainly, anonymous internet commenter. Most certainly.

Whoopsie Daisy!!!!!!!!!!111one

Ok, so, whatever, I haven't written in ages. I mean, I've been really busy, okay? Feeling sorry for yourself takes a lot of time out of your day.

Anyways, I suppose that before I launch back into this whole "blogging" thing (oh, I'm so Web 2.0!), I should update you on what's been going on in my life.

I am still working at the same job as before. I can't complain -- I get paid well, I can work when I want to, and it's really easy. But I can't help feeling like I'm treading water. I just want to get my damned life started. And looking for work in this economy? Forget about it. Marketing's usually the first thing to get cut in most businesses. Funny, it seemed like a good idea the FOUR years I was working towards my degree.

Last week, I was able to make it to Austin and go to Austin City Limits, one of the biggest music festivals in the country. It was so amazing -- five stages, three days, with over a hundred bands. I got to see almost every band that I missed by living here. Wanna know who I saw?

- Vampire Weekend
- Jamie Lidell
- Gogol Bordello
- Hot Chip
- N.E.R.D
- The Swell Season
- Manu Chao
- Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
- CSS (Cansei de Ser Sexy)
- MGMT
- Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
- Iron & Wine
- Beck
- Flyleaf
- Silversun Pickups
- Gnarls Barkley
- Tegan and Sara
- Foo Fighters
And then on Monday, we went to Emo's, and saw The Presets and Cut Copy.

My friends and I are trying to coordinate a New Year's Eve trip to New York City -- which would be super fun, but also so, so expensive. Could you imagine how fun that would be? Well, fun and cold. But still. Liquid jackets and all, it's bound to be a good time. This is going to make me sound like such an alcoholic, but my favorite part about vacations is that you can abandon all pretense of being a productive member of society and just booze when you choose.

I probably should have put this at the top of the page, but my friend Mike has graciously offered to redesign 'ol Good Bloggie for me. He said it will take until the end of the month, but I'm willing to wait. That has been half of the problem for me -- my blog looks so damned generic. Hopefully, after the redesign, I'll have something impressive. Fingers crossed.

And, for the more exciting addendum to that paragraph, I have been helping Mike with a brand new website -- Awesome Society . It's a men's interest site, with product recommendations, articles, and reviews. It's got a really nice, clean look, and hopefully it can start competing with some of the bigger sites out there. I'm helping edit the content on the site (but haven't for a week, don't hold me responsible!) and am responsible for the general tone. When the time comes, he is going to launch a similar site for women, and I'll be completely in charge of that. It's nice to have something different to do for once.

Anyways, I hear the rumblings of everyone else, which means that if I'm not working (or looking like I am), I'm going to be in a world of trouble. Expect more soon!