Augh

I freaked out about this picture, because it's amazing... but how mysogynistic is this title? I mean, I think I'm pretty freaking funny, put me in a magazine or else!

Ahead of its time...

You guys, Pete and Pete was so ahead of its time, it's not even funny. I have to watch old eps of it, does anyone have a good site?

Amazing: Quote Edition

My friend Melissa has the quickest wit. She's so fast with her comebacks and quips, and sometimes she really pulls out some gems, like this one:



We were at the Rio this Friday and had just gotten our margaritas. I saw a friend from high school that I hadn't seen in a while, so we went over to talk to him. Melissa mentioned to one of his friends how glad she was to get a drink, and he asked her, "why, do you have social anxiety???" to which she responded, "no! I have sober anxiety!"

Pretty awesome.

The Show

I'm not sure why I didn't post this song when it came out -- probably because I thought it was too cutesy and the video was too gimmicky, but people didn't really latch on to it like I thought they would. I heard it on a trailer for a movie that I can't remember, but it's adorable, so here you go.



Also, how beautiful is that set?!

A Take Away Show

I could be fine with not posting anything for the rest of the week because of this video. I love it so much.

#91.2 Noah and the Whale - Episode 2
by lablogotheque

How amazing is this photo?

I dig it a lot.

O Hai

Just using my new iPhone. No big.

Man, I am a messy child. Also, this is the biggest picture I've ever posted of myself on here, and it's just so typical that it's of me lookin' homeless. Eeep.

Sure Am.

MORE PUPPIES?!?!

In an effort to keep you updated on all things puppy-related, there's a new live puppy feed. They're Miniature Schnauzers, which, eh, but we can call it the mini-puppy-cam. They're out right now (to lunch?! a nail appointment?! who knows!) but I'm sure they're adorbz, as all things tiny are.

I'm a Jerk

Ummmmmmmmm.... I pretty much can't contain myself. I feel like a little kid this x-mas, because... WhitDizzle is gettin' an iPhone.

What a jerk, right? I totally don't need it and hesitated to even ask for it, but now that I have, I'm more than stoked. Double pumped.

Nerd city, baby. Population: me.

Awwwwwwwwwww

I should really re-name Good Bloggie to "Stuff No One But Me Likes", because man, I love stupid stuff. But this, this is something I think everyone can love. Because it's animals falling asleep. I'll repeat that -- an entire website devoted to cute things falling asleep.

Thanks, internet.

Whoa.

There's no way all these people can fit, right? Wait for it... Wait for it...

Cheetah Lady FTW

Not that I'm sitting at home on a Friday in the internet, cause I'm not, but you guys HAVE to watch this video... It's totally normal that a grown woman would be wearing a cheetah-print onesie and be talking about wanting to live in a "condo-minium", right? Right?

Alt Dog

I don't know how many of you read Hipster Runoff, but if you haven't, you should. It's this (semi) satirical look at "alt" and hipster culture. For those of you who read it, do you find yourself thinking in Crls-speak after you've closed the window? Because I always do and then I get embarassed -- not just because it's ridiculous, but that I could be speaking in any type of internet shorthand.

Anyways, there was a hilarious post up of a previous post about this dog whose owner dresses him up all ridiculous, and this dog, you guys! It's so cute! It thinks it's people!!!

I mean, come on. How insanely adorable is this dog?!

Everyone should probably count themselves lucky that I don't have an animal right now. Because I would totally be doing shit like this.

Sleepy Day

Sorry, I'm not awake enough to think of something to say about this video, but check it out, a bunch of bears, waving!

See more funny videos and Funny Videos at Today's Big Thing.

OMG

I can't figure out if I love this because it's adorable, or if it's because I'm really hungry.

The Waiting Room

I was waiting for my friend Mark to keep up his blog a little bit more before I plugged it, and he's been kicking ass lately. Mark is my most long-term, enthusiastic reader. He would yell at me when I didn't post anything this summer, seriously. Anyways, he's started his own blog, The Waiting Room (which has to do with his nickname, "Dr. Mark", that he's not sure how he got). So if you're in the mood to read something else today, head on over.

Oh, and this one of the best parts of his blog right now (it's even on the sidebar):

Priorities for Whitney's visit in March
1. Cut Copy concert
2. Salt Lick
3. Texadelphia

The Salt Lick is supposedly this epic BBQ place in BFE, Texas, that we didn't get to last time. Texadelphia is like heaven on earth: amazing cheesesteaks with bbq sauce and sweet cherry peppers, or queso and jalapenos... omg. And! They have $1.50 Lonestars all day long. When we went to ACL, we would hang out in the air conditioning drinking ice cold Lonestars until it was time to see the bands we liked. Amazing. And of course, Cut Copy, who I think I will go down to Austin specifically to see, and then probably see again in Denver because I can.

Things Bears Love

I just love the internet for stuff like this: someone actually took the time to make and post cartoons of things that bears love. The site is awesome, and appropriately titled.

The Mayercraft Carrier (and I'm not joking)

Do you have $25,000 to spare? Do you loooooove John Mayer? Well, you're in luck, because you could ... go on a cruise with him. Well, not just you, tons of other Mayer-lovers too. I mean, because there's nothing better to spend your money on during a recession than cruises with John Mayer.

How Much???

Do you CSU folk remember when Common came to our school? Confession: I had a Monday night management class, and brought a giant Subway cup filled with Sprite and vodka in with me, got drunk during class, and then met my friends at the concert. Surprisingly, that was the only time I was drunk in a class (barring hungover drunk). Anyways, according to this site, which lists the amount a musician or band demands for each performance, he gets $50,000-60,000 for each performance. That's nutty. I guess it really is lucrative to be a famous musician.

If Only

Freshman year, I parked my car overnight on a street right by my dorm. I didn't really use it much, because I lived and ate on campus, so a few days later I went to retrieve it from the street. It wasn't there. Before panic set in, I noticed a sign that said something to the effect of "NO PARKING NIGHTS FROM ELEVENTY A.M. TO BLERGITY A.M. ON DAYS ENDING WITH 'DAY' "... or something to that effect. Really, it was because they swept the street on Wednesday nights and wanted people to move their cars out of the way. So I call my dad up, fuming (my dad is famous for getting me out of tough situations, like being stuck in Palermo, Sicily, and arranging plane tickets out of there with my credit card) and he takes me to the tow place. We get there, and it's this ramshackle trailer, filled with smelly mechanics, at least three children, a blaring television, one slow-moving and very grumpy woman, and about 6 other freshmen. Needless to say, I wasn't about to scale the fence to retrieve my car (though I did think about it), so I paid my 90 bucks to get my car out of hawk. I go around back to get it, and what do I find? Two parking tickets, stuck to my windshield with ice.

So I don't like tow trucks so much, even though I was the idiot that parked my car in a "street-sweeping zone".

And I wish I was this lady:

Facebook, It's Not Me, It's You

Oh, hey Facebook. Good to see you again, kind of. I just wanted to get you alone and, well, maybe you could shut the fuck up a little bit.

Listen, I didn’t get you at first. I thought you were a weird place where I was supposed to join groups that my friends were in, like, “Bonin’ in the Library!” and “I love Frosted Flakes!”. Which I did not and I do not, respectively. Then you added photos, and it pretty much spiraled out of control from there. There are 1,948 photos of me on there, Facebook. I’m not exaggerating, either. This is not my fault. This is yours. Where else can you post 60 pictures of one night and have it be acceptable? You know where. And really, is it necessary? No. The answer is no, it is not.

We’ve really got to talk about this whole “relationship status” thing, too. Cause, honestly, kill me. I’ve been in a platonic Facebook relationship with my (girl)friend Meatball for about two years now. But still, it doesn’t calm the pang of crazy that I get whenever I see that an ex of mine has a new girlfriend. Not at all. So maybe we should all keep it to ourselves, right Facebook?

Oh, and the People You May Know feature? Maybe you should rename it to People From High School That I Will Probably Never Friend Ever. Because I won’t. If I’m not friends with them through the Facebookverse, then we’re probably not aware enough of each other to become fake internet friends.

While I’ve got you here, maybe we could chat about statuses. They’re like AIM away messages from the future, right? Because I guess Dave Matthews quotes still apply to some people. Having things like “FINALZ R HARD” run from my eyes to my brain is difficult for me. People are dicks, Facebook. People are dicks with nothing to say, and giving them a platform on which to say nothing is a bad idea.

I mean, I love you. I really do – quit whimpering, you’ll fry your servers. Listen, I just think it would be nice if I could quit you. But I can’t, Facebook. I just can’t quit you.

This is the truth.

Kevin: finding a job is a lot like how guys hit on girls
you need about 100 prospects to get 1 result

Ah Man...

This is actually really, really sad. Apparently, at the beginning of her pregnancy, Jamie Lynn Spears started gaining weight and wasn't sure why, so she begged her mom to get plastic surgery in order to shed the pounds:

"She didn't know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure," a second source reveals. "Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient."..."Any form of liposuction is dangerous and should not be performed on a pregnant woman," plastic surgeon Dr. Gary Burton tells Star. "It poses serious health risks to the fetus."

Why a mother would let her young daughter get surgery instead of just letting her work it off naturally is beyond me.

Ted?

I mean, I knew it was happening, and the guy has to retire sometime, but I've got to say how not excited I am for Jimmy Fallon to take over for Conan O'Brien on Late Night. I mean, I don't really watch it, because I live a sad, boring life, and go to bed early, but I adore Conan and his quick wit. And sure, I used to loooove Jimmy Fallon when he was on SNL, but that was only because I was going through puberty and loved every boy ever when I was 12. Anyways, I was watching this "vlog" that he made in order to get people ready to watch him giggle thoughtlessly for the next few years, and I was so confused why Ted from How I Met Your Mother was on the screen. Seriously. I knew it was Jimmy Fallon and everything, but I was struck by how little I had seen him since he left Saturday Night Live. God, maybe he can do some stunt double work for the guy who plays Ted or something if Late Night bombs.

Recaps

I know I've been plugging these recaps forever, but they're so amazing you guys! Like this one, I snorted. I laughed so hard that I snorted.

"Um. Oh, yeah. Spencerina [ed note: this is Richard's nickname for Spencer's sister, Stephanie]. She was dating this guy named Cameron who I think works in the professional idiot business. I think he's a top executive, actually. Corner office. Idiot secretary, idiot copy machine. Just wall to wall idiots. So that's nice for him. It's nice to work with like-minded people. But Spencerina was having problems. You see she can't quite figure out the alchemy that is Getting Airtime. Should she be dating? Not dating? Friendly with Spencer? Not friendly? Lauren's homegirl? A whispery snitch? You want the cold hard truth, Spencerina? Frankly, be prettier. There's no real science here, my love. It's just that simple (and that hard). Also maybe learn how to express a coherent mind grape. Just in general. For general life's sake.Anyway she ended up trying to cry when she dumbly broke it off with Cameron, Idiot at Law.

So that was a scene that happened on this show once. I like to think that the people who cobble this little shitshow together are just like doing each other's hair and smoking cigarettes and drinking sangria at this point and not really paying attention to the fact that the experience of watching the show has become something like walking slowly through a carwash. If they are trying, like really hard, to make f'ing Spencerina interesting, well then shame on them."

These recaps, as a commenter noted, give you the gift of 28 extra minutes in which to live your life. I mean, if you aren't parked in front of your TV anyway.

Gangster Kitties

I don't know who made this, but they should be rewarded. Catnip or something.

More Puppies!

Mark, maybe I was wrong about people wanting to watch another set of puppies on the puppycam, because here they are, and they're only a week old!!!

Gossipy

The other day I was telling my friend Kevin about the gay A-List celebrity rumors that floated around Hollywood all the time, and recently, I ran across this little gem. If this happened to me I would die of hilarious:

There’s an urban legend that’s gone around until no one is sure who it happened to, or if it happened at all. It was late one night, a few years ago, when a young man was walking through Union Square Park. He suddenly felt someone behind him, their hands over his eyes. When he turned in surprise, there was Bill Murray, his creased face leaning in close. Bill whispered, “No one is ever going to believe you,” and then just walked away

Amazing, right? I hope it's true, and someone turned around to Steve Zissou's crazy face.

Rentskies

So it's no secret that I'm a big time slacker and live with my parents after graduating college. But! I got a webcam in order to video chat over Gchat with my friend Mac, who lives in London, and I just had to use it for this purpose.

So my dad's study is right next to my bedroom, and we share a wall. He plays guitar almost every night, which I'm totally used to... but it still gets pretty ridiculous having someone playing guitar all the time coming through your cracked door. One time even, when I was massively hungover, I wake up from a nap to this "EEEeeeEEEEEEeeeEEEEuuuuuuuhhhhhhhEEEEEeeeeEEEeeeeuu" noise, and it turned out to my my dad's friend, who plays the BAGPIPES that was over. Bagpipes! Fuck! Anyways, I was trying to watch The Office tonight, and my dad was just going nuts on "House of the Rising Sun", so I made a video about it.

(You're gonna have to turn it up, this is the first video I've ever made, so I'm talking really quiet. And there's a weird squeaking noise, I'm not sure what to do about that.)



Jesus you guys, I feel like this:



And if you're even going to talk shit about my messy room, you can fuck off, because you obviously don't know me very well.

Puppy Cam

I don't know about you guys, but I never thought the puppies were going to grow up. Ever. Like, I was totally convinced that once these little guys grew up, they would just switch them out with new ones. Bad news: the puppies have grown up. They're 8 weeks old now! And that means that people are going to start coming and getting them! As soon as this weekend. It's kind of sad. Anyways, someone compiled a "tribute video" of the little guys, so you can relive the glory that was this meme for like 4 weeks.



(I just painted my fingernails this shade of like, dayglo yellow and I can't stop looking at my fingers when I type so this post took twice as long to type out. It's obscene.)

I'm A Zombie

I'm really tired today, kids. It's probably the snow (oh jeez, I just realized that very few of my readers live in the FTC now, that's depressing), of which we got 5 or 6 inches, that's making me so tired. Honestly, all I want to do is get stupid drunk in the middle of the day and the fact that I have no Baileys to sneak into my coffee saddens me.

Here's a comic about zombies.

But really, about a year ago, we had a snow day like this, and Melissa and I took off work at like 2 and went and played in the snow. It was amazing. We had margaritas in mugs:

(Mac, can you believe I still have that hat?!)
And then we played with innertubes/pickup trucks/dangerous ideas:

And then we took shots of Patron in the middle of the street because no one was around.

Holy crap, who wants to have a snow day with me?!!?! 6inches of snow and no one to spend it with!!! AAAAAAA!

I'm the worst employee ever.

Omgggggg you guys pugs.



Ps: does everyone remember when I would write well thought-out posts? Me neither.

Marmoset, Marmoset

This was so good that I had to post it on both Keubs and here. Like, who are the people that make these videos?!

Brain Party

These are freaking awesome:

An RC controlled Zombie and a plush, dismemberable zombie.

Edit: Also this, even though it's real scary.

Liz Lemon FTW

30 Rock has always been one of my favorite shows. It's witty and ridiculous and snarky, all while being socially relevant and intelligent. One of my favorite quotes came from the most recent episode with Steve Martin (who I admire and adore), goes something like, "Ugh, and meeting someone new? All the nodding and smiling and sibling listing! And what’s the upside? It works and you have to have a bunch of sex???"

Anyways, I was reading the Vanity Fair article about Tina Fey, and her character Liz Lemon, and this quote stuck out to me (I wonder why):

Lemon noshes on “off-brand” Mexican cheese curls called “Sabor de Soledad”—“taste of solitude.” When forced to choose between a great man and a great sandwich, she puts the sandwich first.

Atta girl.

If you see Amy?

So how many of you totally love Britney Spears now after watching her documentary on MTV? A little bit more, right? Of course, MTV hasn't been carefully cultivating her comeback for 2 years (starting with her disastrous performance where she "broke her heel", which was probably supposed to be her original comeback but she was still in Crazytown so it didn't work out, and officially beginning with her showing up and winning like 5 awards at the VMAs this year followed by a completely humanizing hour and a half long documentary). Anyways, her new album, Circus, has leaked like crazy, and it's not horrible, because pop music never really is, on the surface at least. So when I heard this song, I just had to look it up, because it made zero sense.



Listen to the words:

Love me hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are beggin’ to If You Seek Amy
Love me hate me
But can’t you see what I see
All of the boys and all of the girls are beggin’ to If You Seek Amy

When she's saying "if you seek Amy", she's really saying "F.U.C.K. me". This is even better than that, erm, self-love song she put out on the album that she had out when I was in high school. Right? I dunno, I mean, I guess you can't look too much into Britney Spears songs, but I giggled.

Oldest lolcat ever?

So, someone found this as a postcard in an antique shop, and it's from 1905. Could it be that I Can Has Cheezburger is just one giant ripoff??? Say it aint so!!!

"What's delaying my dinner" is the new lol for 2k9.

Oh, PS, I'm a badass.

Every DJ isn't going to know everything, but I kind of felt awesome on Friday.

Hangover Schmangover

I wrote a while back about a supposed "hangover cure" that involved Tylenol and Pedialyte. Well, over break, I decided to put it to the test. This is the beginning of the night, and what my purse looked like:

And I ended up at Lucky Joe's with a few friends, and according to my twitter:

Right? So that means that I was pretty drunk (we're not going to talk about how many drinks I had after I sent that at 10:44pm). So at like at 2am, after sending some really ridiculous text messages, I drank the first Pedialyte and passed out. I woke up the next morning still really drunk, no contacts (can't find them), with a splitting headache. Like, the worst headache ever. I'd honestly even venture to say that this was one of the top 3 worst hangovers I've ever had. So I choke down the second Pedialyte, search around for some Advil, debate throwing up before I take the Advil, decide against it, choke down a piece of toast... and... after a few hours, I was tired, but I was fine. Exhausted, but fine. No icky feeling in my stomach, nothing. The only drawback was the fact that if I burped at any time during the day, it would smell like apple Pedialyte, but I could handle that. So next time everyone, just go buy some of that shit, and you'll probably end up feeling alright. Or you could stop drinking, but everyone knows that's not as fun.

Ah Shit

I'm feeling pretty emo lately, about the whole job/moving/living with the rents sitch, and it's kind of bumming me out, so let's hang out, k guys? I gotta get this whole "life" thing rolling, for serious.

In other, less emo news, here's a lolcat.

THE REAL SHAQ

You guys, Shaq's Twitter is solid gold.

http://twitter.com/THE_REAL_SHAQ

"On my way to oklahoma city, gettin ready to send 2 million lbs of peanut butta to africa"
-- Shaquille O'Neal, 2k8

I'm Crazy

I don't know how many of you have noticed the "I'm Crazy" tag at the end of my posts, but it's certainly applicable to this one. There was an email chain going between a few of my friends and I, and it led to me creating and sending this picture.

This was the context:

"Anyone have any good songs to add to the Christmas playlist?"

Me: "If “All I want for Christmas is you” by Mariah Carey plays I will start fork stabbing people.

And now I know that’ll be #1 on the playlist, super. "

"Can you spell repeat?"

Me: "you don’t even know the unbridled rage that comes out of me when this song comes on."

And then this:

"Heres the playlist so far

Ugly Christmas Sweater/Housewarming Party Playlist

1) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
2) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
3) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
4) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
5) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
6) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
7) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
8) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
9) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
10) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
11) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
12) The Isley Brothers - Shout"

Aren't they sweet?

(Oh, and that's me dressed up as a zombie, I don't...usually look like that...)

"Audrina Sure Says F--k A Lot"

I've been meaning to write about these Hills recaps for a while now -- wait! Before you scroll down, which your finger is inevitably poised to do right now because come on, it's The Hills and who cares, you have to give these recaps a chance. I've stopped watching the show in favor of reading these things, because they're so witty and insightful and amazing. Like, take this line for instance:

Otherwise... Holly. Spencer. Fight. Holly. Heidi. Fight. Heidi. Spencer. Not really a fight, just a resigned and defeated admission that Spencer will never do anything right or be a good person. The details are too grim and stupid and repetitive to go into, just know that Heidi no longer has her office, just a sad little cubicle and that, when told he is a bad person by Holly, Spencer made a small quiet lost and bewildered face. Just for a moment you could see the dim glimmer of humanity sparking beneath his skin, but then the electricity was sucked back in by that Inland Empire power plant and the lights went out in Spencer again.

You guys, it's so amazing. Seriously. Read them all.

Oh, and here's this from the most recent episode. It's like 20 seconds long, so watch it or else.

O.M.G.

I can't really do a better job than this explanation, taken from Best Week Ever:

There’s really only three things you can say after seeing the following preview for a game show I am dubbing my 2008 “Reason To Live”: O. M. G.
Thanks to the good people at the Game Show Network and Meow Mix, “Think Like a Cat” is the ultimate show for single gals and suicidal ones alike, where owners are quizzed about how well they know their cats, and the “catestants” face challenges such as who can eat the most food in 60 seconds.
Needless to say, the cats have no idea what the f**k is going on. Neither does host Chuck Woolery. Who can now hopefully pay off his car loans.
The winner of Think Like a Cat gets $1 million, more than enough money to buy a lifetime supply of Cosby sweaters and lint rollers and valiums.

Oh my god, I'm gonna watch the shit out of this show.

Oh, George Michael...

I've refrained from writing about the possibility of an Arrested Development movie for a while now, just because it's been so up in the air that it might not have been worth writing about if it didn't come to fruition. However, I read on Pajiba a bit ago that everyone's on board, and that Mitch Hurwitz is working on something else, but when he's done with that, he's going to start writing a script. So I'd give it a year and a half or two years before we even start seeing trailers, if at all. Anyways, that's all well and good, but there's a hitch: Michael Cera might not even be in it. I guess he doesn't see the point in doing a movie, which is so depressing. I can't see anyone else in that role.

"Yes, it's a go," an Arrested castmember who asked not to be named tells me. "We're all very excited. And it will happen with or without the holdout."
Wait a minute...The holdout? Yes, I'm also told exclusively by multiple sources that one of the show's original castmembers has not signed on to the movie...
"Yeah, [he or she] might not do it," an actor says of this costar. "However, I do know that we will do the project with or without [him or her]."
Add that to this September quote from Michael Cera... "I don't think I would want to see a movie of the series if I was a fan anyways...and I don't really see a need for it if you can get the three seasons on DVD."

Cue sad Snoopy music...

{via CCInsider}

What Am I Even Talking About Anymore?

I blog on another blog now. We'll see how long my attention span will allow it.

http://keubs.blogspot.com/

It's fancier than mine. Le sigh.

A Cross the Universe

You guys, Justice has a live album and an hour-long documentary DVD coming out on December 8th called A Cross the Universe. I have the "Stress" track from it, and it's super great. I'm usually not a huge fan of live albums because I think they're just so repetitive and self-serving (like, "let's offer up the same songs, but sung much worse, with more screaming crowd and breathing sounds"). Electronic albums, however, seem to be the exception, as it gives the artists more room to play around with the sounds in each song. Daft Punk's Alive album is still part of the "most played" list on my iPod. Anyways, I'm super excited to steal this album off the internet (thank you, interwebs/sorry, Justice).

Wall-E

It's no secret how much I liked the movie Wall-E. It's just so damn adorable. I was in Circuit City this weekend looking for a webcam and walked past the DVD display and "Walllllllllllll Eeeeeeee" crackled out of it, and I got all excited and walked past it a couple of times. I looked crazy, per usual, but still.

Anyways, here's the whole script. It's really interesting to see how everything translated to the screen.

Chinese Shut Up

Maybe I'm too young to get all the hype, but is it wrong that I just don't give a damn about Guns N' Roses' new album, Chinese Democracy?! I mean, I know that it's been in the works since 1994, but still... can everyone can it already?!

Hangover Cure?

As some of you may know, I am pretty famous for my raging hangovers. It doesn't matter how much I drink, because the next morning I am usually fighting with a debilitating hangover that makes me curl up into a ball and grumble. I guess it's just a sad, sad byproduct of getting older. Anyways, there's this blog that I read, and this was in the comments. I'm not sure if it's gonna work, but I'm totally willing to try it. Anything. I'll try anything.

Torch wrote:
Electrolytes + acetaminophen = drink whatever the fuck you want and feel great.Buy a couple liters of Pedialyte and a bottle of Tylenol extra strength. After a night of drinking, drink at least half a liter of the Pedialyte and take two extra strength Tylenols before going to sleep. Then, upon waking, repeat. No hangover.

Molly replied to Torch’s comment:
If I take Tylenol after drinking, won't I immediately puke?

Torch wrote:
No. Why would you think that?

Molly replied to Torch’s comment:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071230220350AANtaYU
If you take it the night you drink, you can make yourself WAY more sick because of what it does to your liver. The gatorate seems like a smart plan, but Tylenol + drinking = liver failure for someone like me.

Torch wrote:
Not unless you have already have a pre-existing condition/elevated liver enzymes. You'll be fine. You're taking the word of yahoo answers over a doctor, I'm insulted. Actually I'm not insulted, it's your body, do what you want. If you're worried about it, just take the Tylenol in the morning. Btw, don't use Gatorade, use Pedialyte. The excess sugar/sucrose in Gatorade can actually optimize a hangover, not good. Depending on your insulin sensitivity, it may slow the process of absorption prior to alcohol breakdown/conversion to acetate making the hangover that much longer. If you've ever noticed, getting smashed off bad wine leaves you with a monster hangover the next day, that's why.


Pedialite, right guys?! Maybe it's like, the fountain of youth that only this dude knows about. Anyways, I'm totally going to try it. I'll let you know how it goes.

Hey Boy

I dig this song more and more every time I listen to it -- the girl in the video isn't the girl who actually sings the song, but it's a good video nonetheless.
She's like... an indie Lykke Li, maybe? Mark? It's the guitar, that's the part that reminds me of LL.

Adventureland

This movie looks awesome.

Style Rookie

If you can't tell already, I haven't always been the coolest. I always say that I want my future (very future) children to be giant nerds so that they are forced to develop a personality and distinct interests that aren't "going to the mall" and "doing dirty things in closets".

When I was younger, the loser kids at school made fun of me, that's how ridiculous I was. I was always playing "imagination games". In 5th grade, my teacher gave out awards at the end of the year, and mine was the "Nose in A Book" award. I remember sitting in my little plastic chair, waiting for my award to come up, heart fluttering whenever a new one was about to be announced, and becoming instantly, painfully aware that I was wearing weird shorts with Teva sandals and that my legs were hairier than all the other girls' (because I hadn't become self-aware enough to shave them yet). My wardrobe when I was 12 consisted of baggy corduroy pants with zippered tops, and my favorite item of clothing was a pair of burgundy corduroy overalls that had Winnie the Pooh and friends on them. I kept wearing them even when I snagged the "hammer holder" on a drawer, letting it flap around for weeks until my mom captured me and cut it off. I hadn't ever really been very cognizant of the way I look or act, only becoming aware of it within the last 5 or 10 years.

Anyways, I came across this blog, written by a 12-year-old girl, and I was so taken aback by how creative and intelligent she was, and how all pretense was missing from her writing because she's so young. I mean, seriously, check this out and tell me you don't love this girl:

"School has been blah. More specifically, school people. Luckily, I have a new strategy in dealing with people who think knowing everything about nothing and
talking about it all the time makes them Jesus: I imagine myself throwing an atomic apple at them then stomping on them in Rodarte and a crown a la Where The Wild Things Are."

And then she made a little example:

She reminds me a lot of my friend Hanna, with whom I grew up. She was always dressing totally crazy and had this Polish mother that totally supported her whims, and I was always a little bit jealous that she was allowed to be such a free spirit.

Anyways, I wish I were like this girl when I was 12 -- hell, I wish I was like her now! But read her blog, it's so great.

Baby's Gettin Old

So I decided that in order to celebrate my 10,000th hit, I would see exactly how old Lil' Good Bloggie really is:

You are 2 years old . . .
or 31 months old or 134 weeks old or 939 days old or 22536 hours old or 1352163 minutes old or 81129832 seconds old

And, your next birthday is in: 158 days 13 hrs 57 mins 8 secs as of 11:05am

Pretty cool, right? I'm actually kind of proud that I've kept this thing up for so long. I mean, there were times that I neglected it when it threw tantrums, or ignored it when it was doing something bad, but the love's still there, folks.

Man Tries to Pay Bill With Spider Drawing

A guy was clearly trying to come up with an excuse for why he hadn't paid his bill, and instead tried to pay with a drawing of a spider. The whole email exchange is in this article.

10 G's?!

You guys! You guys! Only 15 more hits until I hit 10,000!!! I mean, some sites have 10,000 hits every couple of hours, but still! It's kind of a big deal in my little world.

I Still Love the Internet

This is my dear, dear, dear special friend Mac. Ok, he's not special, just awesome.


In other news, Gchat just got a hell of a lot cooler.

YOUR PARENTS LOVE YOU

So one of my best guy friends from high school went to school in Flagstaff, and I'm not sure, but apparently one of the only things to do there besides drink is to yell at people from cars. They called it "Ralphing" (not sure why, I think they used to just yell "Ralph" at people) and it was pretty much all they did for about 6 months.

Anyways, these kids are taking it to a whole new level.

Ummmmm....

Since I'm not sleeping, I just wanted to post this, because this guy has found himself a nice little place in the world and I'm a little bit jealous.


I'm also jealous because I'm not a dinosaur.

I Has an Emailz

So I finally broke down and got Good Bloggie its own email address.

GoodBloggie@Gmail.com

Big time.

MY LIFE IS SO HARRRRD

Dudes, something terrible is happening to me. I'm just being shit on from every possible angle lately and I can't figure out why, like is this karmic retribution for something that I did? Probably. Anyways, I ordered a pita from Pita Pit because I haven't had it in forever and jesus, doesn't that sound good, and I realized how hungry I was and that I've got to wait 30 minutes for the delivery dude to bring it to me because I'm a lazy bitch, so I reach into my drawer for these Saltines that I stole from Spoons (stealing condiments/sugar packets/crackers is the way I'm coping with the recession), open the package, and stop.

In the plastic wrapper is one cracker. One fucking cracker! What the hell kind of a jerk at the cracker factory decided to ruin my day like this?! There should have been two! Two crackers!

God you guys. My life is so hard.

Mas Pictures

These pictures were taken at the Yelle show a little bit ago -- I forgot my camera, so I took pictures with my phone camera, which is apparently not so good. Anyways, these were the good ones that came out of the night.

There was some sort of terrible murder or robbery or something that needed an entire gas station cordoned off and I was like, "you guys, I gotta blog this!" I mean, when you gotta, you gotta. This is an an awesome photo. Why does everyone else look better in my specs than I do?!

I'm A Bad Person

You guys, I'm such a piece of shit for posting this, because this poor poodle-thing doesn't seem to have any teeth, but I laughed until I cried because it's the funniest thing I've seen all week.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Noodle Cat

Want a Slinky but don't have the time or money to buy one? Have some super slippery wooden stairs? Don't fret -- here comes Slinky Cat!



Eh. I tried.

HM 4 Life

I'm kind of phoning it in lately with my blog, but I just wanted to let everyone know how glad I have Twitter so that I can remember moments like this:

On Friday, we rounded up a bunch of dollars and then couldn't decide what to play on the TouchTunes at the Pour House. We still had a billion credits left when everyone else decided it was time to leave, so I put on 4 Hannah Montana songs in a row. Could you imagine all of the dudebros there trying to get it on with some girl while "Girls Night Out" is blaring in the background?! It was pretty awesome.

Holy Crap

You guys, I checked my email today, and this was in my inbox.

I have one follower on Twitter and it's MC freakin' Hammer. I'd say that's an accomplishment.

Des Crocodiles?

Ok, this might get a little too real for some of you guys, but whichever one of my blog readers is going to inevitably impregnate me someday, I demand that I birth this child. THIS ONE. I will accept no substitutes. Get working on the time machine/adorable French baby machine immediately.


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

[via Videogum, which called this little girl "Amelie Jr."]

Carlton?!

I apologize for the lack of posts lately, kids. With the "most important election in recent history" and the "first African-American president elected", there weren't a lot of cuddly animal videos or stupid news items. But guess what?! Below this post is a video of a baby hippo wandering around ... we're back, folks.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you guys know that my blog is pregnant, and its baby daddy is Paul Rudd.

More Baby Animals

I have a heart, okay???

RAC Vol. 1

So this is kind of a big deal you guys -- I've been trying to get back into blogging about music again, but the truth is that I haven't been listening to much new music ever since they took our headphone privileges away at work. Anyways, I'm trying to get better about it, so here's something to get you started. There are some oldies, and definitely some goodies. You can listen to it via the player below, or download it by following this link. Trust me, it's worth it.



{via Stereogum}

Do-Over

So, Halloween came around this year, and I spent it completely blacked out. Not that I'm proud of it -- I most definitely am angry at myself for being such a dumbass and drinking NOS energy drink with vodka. It's like crack, kids. Don't do it.

Anyways, this is the conversation between my friend Kevin and I. I pre-partied at the girls' house and then took a cab to the Ogden to go to the Girl Talk show, and after that, we went to a house party. I remember hanging out on the lawn a lot. Was there Frank Sinatra at some point? I don't remember. Anyways, although it was totally pathetic that we didn't remember a lot of the night, it's nice to commiserate with your friends about it:

Kevin: she's alive!!!
Me: um, I think I actually died on Friday, like what the fuck was going on
Kevin: dude, all i honestly remember was thinking was
"i'm in bad shape, but so is whitney. i'm staying on the lawn with her"
i just felt a drunken connection
Me: hahahahahahahah
I threw up behind that house, whoops
Kevin: hahahah i remember saying "i'm gonna go vom in the back" and you're like "ok good, i'm going over here"
Me: hahahahahhahahahhhhahahha
omg!
that's awesome! dude, i blacked out for like 3 hours
i dont remember the concert, i dont remember the party
i hate myself a little
Kevin: me neither
yeah, i definately had that more alcohol = more fun equation going and it FAILED ME
i cussed out a cabby
Me: ahhhahahahahahah
when???
Kevin: dude, on the way home, the cab
driver was like slamming on his brakes and i was like "there are two ways do
stop, the right way, and the fucking way you're doing it! i will puke all
over your fucking car!"
Me: HAHAHAH
fuck yeah!
being a cabbie must suck so bad around like 2am
Kevin: i woke up and found [Marc’s] ID in my wallet. neither of us know why...
Me: HAHAHAH
what a ridiculous night
Kevin: best word used to describe it yet
Me: i woke up with a huge bruise on my head and a massive scrape on my knee, ripped tights, my tail crumpled up in my purse
Kevin: hahahah $80 spent at the ogden, missing jacket, damaged dignity
thats about my toll
Me: i grabbed Kyle's wig off his head because he was complaining about it being too hot and tossed it into the crowd
and then picked a hat up off the floor and wore it to the party (?)
Kevin: HAHAHAHAHAHA
wow thats awesome
Me: dude, damnit
Kevin: at least we all can laugh about it

Damn You, Amy Winehouse!

So for a while here, I figured I was just killing it with the whole blog revamp -- I've been getting upwards of 50 hits a day for a while, which is far and above what I got before. But, according to my hit counter, someone linked a picture I posted of Amy Fucking Winehouse that I put up in passing on my blog. This damned picture keeps sending people to the Google image result on my blog, and while the publicity is nice, it's just not right. I'm not sure what to do to fix it either -- I deleted the picture, but the post is auto-cached through Google, so no dice.

So, in summation, Amy, you're ruining my life, one click at a time.

Cats, Dammit

Because this is my blog and I get to do whatever the hell I want --

A cat scooting around in an open box.

Paint

So, I don't play video games, because even though I don't have a life, I have enough of a life to "have a life" enough to not play video games. Ya dig? Anyways, this is "a 'tech demo' for a videogame that's still in development called The Unfinished Swan. You 'shoot paint' in order to navigate your way through the game's labyrinthian monochromatic levels." And it's really fucking cool.


[via Videogum]

Giant Lego Man Appears on Brighton Beach

This is pretty awesome. What if you were the one who came across this guy?

It is thought to have washed up on the beach, and was spotted by children
playing there.The Lego man is 6ft tall in red, yellow and green. It is presumed to have washed up on the beach, but whether it has come from a cargo ship or from across the Channel is not clear. Brighton resident Gerry Turner, 34, said: "It's very odd. God knows how it got here but people are saying it's from Holland because it's got some Dutch writing on it. It must have fallen off a boat of something. The kids love it." Children helped stand the Lego man up on the beach, but are still mystified as to where it came from. One said: "It's great, but we don't know why it's here." A spokesman for Brighton and Hove City Council said it didn't know the origin of the Lego man, but said it was fine for it to remain on the beach. He said: "There's no
problem at all. It will be interesting to see how long the Lego man stays there for. We'll keep an eye on it." A different giant Lego man was fished out of the sea in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort in August. That model was yellow and blue, and had the words "No real than you are" in English across its torso. That toy was said to come from England, so perhaps the Dutch decided to return the favour.

I Don't Think I'm Joking ...

Wait, what? What the fuck, JoBros?! I read this article and thought it was poking fun at the Jonas Brothers, but it seems to be legit. At least for now, I could see the backlash (also, how fucking stupid the concept is) cause them to back out of it. But still. Read on:

"The Jonas Brothers will make their first feature film in Walter the Farting Dog, reports Variety.Kevin, 20, Joe, 19, and Nick, 16, along with the Bonus Jonas (their younger brother Frankie) will star as musicians whose parents are asked to take care of a Walter, a dog with has severe flatulence problems.The film is an adaptation of the books written by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray. Filming is expected to start in the spring."

[via Just Jared]

Oh man. I don't get it. Am I too old? I really don't think that back in the day, I would see the Hanson brothers in a movie about a farting dog. Seriously?! A farting dog???

Photo Time

Do you ever go through the photos you've taken on your phone? They're the ones that you've taken because you didn't have a camera, or you wanted to get a shot quick. I was going through mine and figured I would share them with you.

The first one is a requisite New Belgium shot. These were the beers of the couple who sat next to us, where the female, upon getting tipsy on beers, wrote a postcard that went like this: "Mom, I am drunk right now. Why did you leave me when I was little?"
Which, in and of itself, is pretty sobering.

Fort Collins has this arts project that pays artists to paint utility boxes all over downtown. This is of one behind the Lyric. Where I buy my crack.

This was the epic poem that Dan wrote about our equally epic keg race this summer. Hopefully you can make it out.

This picture is also of Dan and I -- some girl with a massive purse (like I can talk) let her bag dangle over the back of our couch. Bad idea. We're like, purse sharks.

Da NA. Da NA. DaNa Dana dana dananananananaa DAAAAAAAA!

This is my step-mother, who apparently had too much fun playing Guitar Hero, and decided to take a nap mid-jam.

This was taken at the Beiruit concert in Los Angeles. I love this photo.

This is of the sky after the tornado passed by Fort Collins. Spooky.

This photo (I think) was one that I took after some German photographer took a few photos of me at Mark's house party in Austin, at the world's most unflattering angle, wearing the world's most ridiculous floppy hat. After reviewing the pictures, I sequestered myself in a room and took pictures that I liked to reassure myself that I wasn't an ogre. This was one of them.

Annnnnnd finally, this is a photo of the pier at Manhattan Beach, in California. It's a little crooked, but I love it because it was cold and no one was around, so it looks lonely and deserted.