Do You Have the 'Scoop'?

'ello darlings.

So I was watching movie trailers, which is something I do often, and I realized that doing so always makes me mad. Why? Because I watch them and get all excited and then realize that they don't come out for weeks upon weeks, or months upon months... which, as it turns out, is very distressing. Anyways, I was watching the tailer for the new Woody Allen/Scarlett Johanssen/ Hugh Jackman movie and I have to say, it looks interesting. I'm not what you might call a "Woody Allen Film Buff", persay, but my interest in his movies was piqued by Match Point. I'll have to say, he knows what he's doing. Scarlett Johannsen, however, leaves something to be desired. I know that she's unconventionally beautiful and has great boobs, but her intonation and expression kind of irks me. She can carry a movie, sure, but can a movie carry her?
Scoop's plot is kind of odd. It's about a young college student who happens upon a ghost (I know) who says he has the "scoop of the century" for her: he knows the identity of a serial killer and wants her to figure out how to catch the guy. She ends up falling in love with the guy who she presumes to be the killer, blah blah blah... watch the trailer. It'll do a better job.




This is a trailer for the new (and by new I mean "Fall freaking '06") Zach Braff movie. I love him, I don't care what anyone thinks. He has the most impeccable comedic timing... "Scrubs" is a thing of beauty sometimes. It never fails to make me belly laugh... well, most things make me laugh like that. But ya know. Yeah. My male readers may not be sold on this movie but I sure am.




Well, I'm going to leave this as a relatively short post, because I haven't gone grocery shopping in weeks and I don't have any food, which has left me light headed and unable to write. Diet V8 Splash for lunch?! I think so!!!

Listening to Say Anything - "Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too"

Oh, and I'm really serious about downloading that "Backyard Betty" song by Spank Rock. It's got the most ridiculous beat... I love it.

MY EYES! MYYYY EYES!

Ok, ok, so it's not that bad. I just got back from a trip to the eye doctor because my contacts had gotten so bad that I couldn't really see far away anymore. I forgot they were going to dilate my eyes and now I can't see. I felt like an idiot walking into the gas station with my sunglasses on, like I was a movie star or something... Now I can't really see close up, so if there are any typos, I'm sorry, for I simply cannot see.

I'm currently sitting on hold with Cingular, trying to get a new Razr. Mine makes this annoying clicking noise in the earpiece (similar to when your phone is by your speakers and it makes that na-na-na-na-naaaaaaa noise) and I want to get a new one before the warranty is up. I think they make the hold music this annoying on purpose... it's the same loop of some easy listening guitar music over... and over.... and over... AND OVERRR! Oh! They picked up... and put me on hold again. Now it's piano music, much more soothing. Shit, now I have to call my dad and get his social and then call them back. Argh. This is ridiculous.

Anyhoo... I watched the trailer for "A Scanner Darkly" the other day and it looks so good! I can't wait for it to come out. I remember seeing a trailer for it forever ago.



If ya wanna check it out... It's pretty sick.

I was going to post the video of me dancing at the Sundance but it is FAR too embarassing, so it's not happening. Sorry kids. Well ... I have to work tonight for just a few hours and then apparently it's trivia at Pott's. Hmm. This whole not spending money thing is not working out.

Country Music Makes Me Want to Dance!

So we went to Sundance (again) Tuesday night. What I didn't realize before (because I was already drunk before I got there) was that beers are 25 cents and double mixed drinks are 50 cents. Like... are you keeeding me?! It was awesome. I had about 3 beers and went to get a mixed drink, and when I came back with my drink everyone informed me that the specials were about to end and that I should get more beer, for good measure. Ed and I went and got more, him holding three, and me holding two, all for ourselves. Needless to say, I line danced. And when I say that I line danced, I mean I watched other people more sober than myself and mimicked their moves about a second behind, so that I was always facing the wrong direction. It was embarassing. However, it didn't seem to stop me...

Bleah!

I'm getting really, really fed up with everything I'm doing lately. I'm working; but I'm not all too sure I like my job. I'm in class; but I KNOW I hate it. I've been going out a lot lately, but it's getting kind of ridiculous, spending all this money and sleeping my entire day away because I've been getting so hungover. I need to get my shit together. I just don't have anything to do sometimes, with my roomates working and everything. Drinking usually seems like the logical option. Which in itself seems really, really ridiculous.

... I can't wait for New York ...

444 -- The Mark of...the Beast?

I was looking at my page and I saw that I had 444 views. It made me giggle, although I'm not really sure why. However, none of you will ever get to see it, because I was the only one, but share the moment with me. It was a good one.

Good Bloggie loves you.

And the Picklessssss!!!

This little gem is courtesy of my friend David, who never fails to amaze me with the random shit he finds on the Internet.



Enjoy. Seriously. You will.

Lazy Saturday/ Busy Sunday...

So last night me and Caroline and Mich watched a few movies in lieu of going out. Brewfest was all weekend but I was too hungover Saturday and I have too much to do today... We went to McDonalds and got two movies for two dollars, which was quite a deal. However, we kind of realized why these movies were only a dollar; they we both uniquely ridiculous. We ended up renting Match Point with Scarlett Johanssen and Johnathan Rhys-Meyers (swoon) and ... Aquamarine with a bunch of 12 year olds. However, trying to wrap your brain around the anguish that the main character in Match Point was dealing with seemed to be much harder than watching a movie about a mermaid. I never said we were cool. No, actually, Match Point would have been much better if we hadn't started it at like 1:15 am and finished it at 3:30.

I'm going to make this a short post because I have to go meet my dad for a movie and then babysit my little step-sister later tonight. I have the next two days off... which is exciting because my job is fairly stupid. Oh well. It's money.

Kelsi's 21st...

So last night was my friend Kelsi's 21st in Denver. We started out with a barbequeue at her house, then went to some dive bar in Denver, and finally went downtown to Market Street. It was insane, there was a ton of people there. As we were driving by, we saw the Real World film crew... but I couldn't pic out the actual cast members. I did get to see their house though, and it looks so, so, so cool. Must have cost MTV a bundle.

Fun times. Well, I just got called in to work early, so I guess that's what I'm gonna go do.

Ghost town....

I woke up from my nap today and no one was around. There are signs of life in my house, though, like the TV screen (but not the digital cable) on and loud music coming from downstairs. I'm too groggy to go look though. We thought this summer was going to be the best summer ever, and all we would be doing would be laying by the pool, and drinking and bbqing.... instead all of my roomates work all the time and I'm working and still doing school. It kind of sucks.

God, I'm getting so excited for NYC! I know I still have weeks upon weeks, but I found this awesome blog made by these two hippie Boulderites who decided to pack everything up and live in NYC for a month. It has all sorts of cool stuff in it, and it's coming from a point of view that I totally understand. Check it out if you want...
http://countrymice.blogspot.com

I read this article about how Russians are brewing their own alcohol and it's really toxic and is killing like, 42,000 people a year. That's a lot of dead Ruskies! "Nurgaliyev said that much of the alcohol was sold in bottles labelled as brands that officially disappeared long ago.
"For example, the cognac Bely Aist has not existed for three years but you can find it in shops. It is fake cognac and all there is in the bottle is a liquid that is dangerous for health and life," he said." What on earth is going on there? However, cigarettes kill like 20,000 people a day worldwide, so maybe they should be printing articles on that.

I just don't have anything to write about lately! My life has gotten a wee bit boring. Let's see, we went to this guy Jason's house last night, which was, well, not that great, and ended up coming home after only an hour. Sooooo exciting.

Wow. I wrote a while back, speculating about Ashlee Simpson's new nose, which turned out to be a definite nose job. Now, I just saw these pictures of Jessica Simpson without the trademark hump in her nose and I was taken aback! She looks.... weird. I think it's insane, every girl in Hollywood wants to look like her and now she looks like every girl in Hollywood. That shouldn't go without me saying, however, that I don't have a nose that I hate, and I really shouldn't be talking. I've been noticing in pictures lately (though no one else probably has) the bump that happened when I broke my nose in high school. The short version of the story was: my friend Joey's swinging arm ---> nose and the next day, crowd surfer in mosh pit's foot ----> nose. Poor little guy. Oh well. I only notice the tiny little bump that didn't use to be there before.

Well, I'm being beckoned to go ride bikes with my roomate. Peace out!

Ugh! I was trying to upload the picture of Jessica Simpson but Blogger is being an asshole and won't let me. So if you want to see it, here you go:
http://s2.supload.com/image.php?get=jessica-6.21-2-20060622222324.jpg

Listening to: The sweet, sweet sound of my fans. Window and ceiling fans, that is. They're there to dampen the sound of the 20,000 pre and post pubescent boys standing outside my window screaming.

Backyard Betty?

AAAA! I just found the coolest hip hop song. Download "Backyard Betty" by Spank Rock immediately. It's unbelievably freaking good.

Back in Black...

Did anyone notice the color overhaul?! I got really, really sick of looking at the same template every day, so I changed it up. I still don't like it completely, but it's looking much better. I hope the pink doesn't hurt the eyes of all my male readers out there.

I'm so schleepy! Last night we went to the Sundance, which was a blast and a half. It was the most fun I've had in a long time... well... maybe it's only been like, 4 days. Still. It was just such a shitshow and I drank there without getting kicked out for the first time. Whitney: 1. Sundance:...2. But see? I'm catching up!

Oh god, I have to go to bed. I just peeled myself off of the couch after sitting through an entire episode of Cheyenne. Seriously though, if I were that hot when I was 15, I wouldn't need a personality either.

Listening to: Howie Day - Collide (it's coming through Burt's wall)

<3

To all my friends having a hard time right now... Hang in there, I love you guys!

Oh, FoCo...

Sorry about the lack of posts... I've been kind of busy lately.

I booked my flight to New York City today... YAY! I'm going the 10th through the 17th... and the 16th is my 21st birthday. I'm so excited. At first I wanted to book my flight so that I could be back for my birthday, but I've just been going to the bars already, so I'm sure they're going to be there when I get back. We're going to spend time at Mac's beach house in New Jersey and do the NYC thing for a while too. This is the funny part: my flight back home is at 6am. The day after my birthday. I don't get to go to sleep. I just get to drink until last call, hope I'm not too drunk, get my shit and leave for the airport. I don't know how the hell I'm going to navigate LaGuardia by myself, drunk. It'll be an adventure and a half... I just hope I don't throw up on some businessman.

My fucking teacher pissed me off so bad today; we had outlines for some stupid "bad news letter" that we were supposed to have for peer-editing today. They weren't even due or anything... Anyways, she sees that me and some other people didn't have theirs and docks us points for "non-professionalism". I spent the rest of class scowling at her while she went over her powerpoints. The best part was that when I got my other letter back (which I also didn't do an outline for) I had gotten a 93%. I refrained from screaming "IN YO FACE!" at her... That's probably not too professional either.

I was driving home the other day and I realized how much I am beginning to love Fort Collins. I spent a lot of time in high school selfishly feeling like this town didn't have anything to offer me, and now that I'm getting older there are so many things to do. Plus, the side of town that I grew up on is just... I don't know, more boring. I think (as stupid as it sounds) that going to the bars has kind of brought a change in my attitude. I remember going places downtown with my parents and walking by like, Lucky Joes or the Rio and thinking that the people in there were so old and that I would never get there. It's weird... I don't feel that old.

I was such a waste of space last week. All I did was go out! It was ridiculous... I think I drank like... 6 nights out of the week. Is it bad that I don't remember?!

I had pics from Saturday on Caroline's camera, but apparently her drunk ass deleted most of them. Damnit. If I get them, I'll post them.

Ok kiddies... It's to hot to...um.. breathe. I gotta go do something.

Listening to: Spitalfield: Stop Doing Bad Things

I was drugged and left for dead in Mexico and all I got was this lousy T-shirt....

Whoo. Last night was a doozy. I just woke up from a nap, and am desperately sucking on a Diet Coke, hoping not to fall asleep on my keyboard and wake up with number key imprints on my forehead. We went to Wash Bar last night, and it was more hoppin' than last time I went... this summer is so much better now that I don't have class so early. Granted, I was still drunk this morning when I was actually in class, but hey. I made it.

Holy shit, I just noticed something. I must have been drunk last night because I stood on the left of all of the pictures. I usually unconsciously stand on the right (I don't know why, don't ask). Hmm. Odd.

I'm going to my friend Kendi's wedding tonight. I have known this girl since junior high and now she's getting married. Are we that old now? I just learned to tie my shoes yesterday and she's gettin' hitched. But maybe that's just me.

Ehhhhnice!

So I wrote in a post a while back about the Borat movie. If you don't know who Borat is, scroll down a bit and look for one of the episodes I put on a previous entry. It's worth it.
Anyways, I found the trailer for the movie, due out in the fall. I'm so, so, so excited, almost as much as I am for Snakes on a Plane. That's huge.

Enjoy yourself.

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1695039/

300 Views!

Yay! Good Bloggie has amasssed over 300 page views. I've only been doing this whole thing since April 28th... so a little over a month and a half. I know some websites get thousands of hits a day, but I just love it when I can see that at least one person cared enough to check out what I wrote. Granted, most of the traffic is usually from someone using Google BlogSearch to find "Never Went to Church" by the Guillemots, (a surprisingly popular search topic that usually leads people to my blog) but I know I've got a few loyal readers. I know I've said it before, but if you've come back to my blog, even once, I love you. I really, really do.

Pong Anyone?

So last night Heather, Mich, Caroline, Brigid and I went to Potts to play beer pong. We grilled burgers before (or in my case, live cow, eugh) and walked over. It was so much fun! It was so random playing beer pong at a restaurant, but Brigid and I won against some hardcore guys and lost against some not-so-hardcore guys. We got kind of drunk... I ended up drinking one of their big beers, taking a kamikaze shot, and downing almost an entire pitcher during the course of our beer pong games. Oops. There was a point where everyone was just yelling loudly at each other because they were all so drunk. I guess that's what half off your tab will do on Sunday nights.

I'm listening to all of my old Rise Against stuff and it's making me sad. I miss going to shows all the time. Freshman year I saw so many shows, like one a week and it's just sad because I don't see any anymore. I really did see all the bands that I really liked a few times each, and now the bands that I'm into are kind of obscure and it's really hard to catch them when and if they come to Colorado. Eh, oh well.

Anyhoo, I don't know what I'm doing tonight, but I hope it's fun, because, well, I'm bored.

Euuuughghghghghgh

Fuck! I had this whole post and I went to copy and paste something about National I love Whitney Day (although it was actually "I love Whitney Houston Day") and I somehow copied the whole page, the whole freaking page, on top of my blog and couldn't delete it. I was pissed. I was writing about how I just saw the movie Cars with my dad and how I really liked it. I was also talking about how I found a link to the Gnarls Barkley performance from the MTV Movie Awards where they're all dressed up as Star Wars characters and that it was introduced by Borat. In summation: Cars, good, Borat, good, Star Wars, good, Gnarls, good. Glad we got that out of the way. Fucking Whitney Houston.
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/06/09/icymi-borat-gnarls-on-the-mtv-movie-awards/

I worked this morning from 9:30-1:30 and I'm a little bit tired. We're going to grill stuff and sit around our new incredibly cheap yet highly functional patio set and then got to C.B. and Potts to play beer pong. I know, right? Beer pong? I guess so.

Last night I went to the new-ish Road 34 bar (the one that's attached to the bike shop on Elizabeth) with Sam and his friends. It was actually really fun. I don't know if I was just drunk or something, but I had a really, really good time. We rode our bikes there! It was just so nice to go to a place that doesn't have any pretense and you don't have to wear high freaking heels and impress anyone. Sam's friend Andy premiered a video he made about all of his friends biking. And Sam fell off of his bike. Twice. Before we got there. Bwahahah.

I've discovered my new favorite activity: biking. Mich, Derek and I rode our bikes (slightly inebriated) to King Soopers to get Funfetti cake mix on Friday. That's the trick. Knock some back before you get on. It was funny though, because we weren't doing anything especially interesting but it was still enjoyable nonetheless.

We'll see if I get around to it, but I think I'm going to write a screenplay with this new program that David gave me... it makes it really easy to insert the same words and stuff in it. When/if I get it finished, David's going to shoot it and edit it like he knows how. He thought of this really cool idea when I told him I wanted to do a caper comedy with like, really quick cuts and artsy shit in it. If it comes to fruition, it'll be so, so cool.

So, I haven't done an iMix in a while, so here it is: My iTunes on shuffle, with no songs skipped:

1. Atlantic - Thrice
2. Can't Nobody Hold Me Down (oh god, so classic) - Puff Daddy
3. Oliver's Army - Ok Go
4. Quality Control - Jurassic 5
5. What If - Coldplay

I got a job!

Yep, I did. I got a job. I'm going to be working at a sandwich place near campus. Apparently I beat out like, 30 other people. It's awesome though, because the owner of the place was a marketing major, and when I told him it was my dream to work for a record company, he said that he had worked in radio for a long time and could hook me up with all sorts of marketing opportunities, both for the restaurant and for other stuff. I'm so excited!

I have my last accounting class today; how glad is everyone not to hear how tired I am in my posts anymore?! David and I are going to go out to lunch after and then I'm going to lay outside with Caroline for a while.

Has anyone heard that song that goes "You can't say tits on the radio"? It's hilarious, because you, well, can't say tits on the radio, and tits gets bleeped out every time. It's kind of like... what's the point? I guess they're trying to let everyone know that you can't say tits on the radio. Who knew?.

One down, one to go

Got done with my Business Law test today, I only have my Accounting final tomorrow and then I'm free!!!... for a weekend. And then I go back to school. Gah.

This video is way, way, way to hilarious not to mention. Introducing: "Pop Slut Video: Paris Hilton's 'The Stars are Blind'". Paris Hilton's new single is shown pop-up video style, with hilarious sayings such as, "Paris wanted to shoot her video in black and white. She loves everything that's black and white. Except Nicole Ritchie." It's so good.
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/06/08/pop-slut-video-stars-are-blind/

Also, if you're feeling sassy, gay, have a lisp and some sort of horrible East Coast accent and think you can dance, you must be this guy!
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1694072/
"Excusth me, who are you?" It's another one of those things that make you cringe and not want to stop watching.

I have a job interview today; wish me luck! Just 24 hours until I'm sitting by the pool drinking something alcoholic from something resembling a container and... oh, who am I kidding? I'm gonna fill a kiddie pool with vodka and lay in it and let it soak into my pores. Feel the burn!

Wha?

You may be wondering why I wrote that super long post yesterday. My friend David challenged me in an instant message to use these four words: "weed-eater", "megaphone", "skullduggery" and "yeoman" in a believeable story. Evidently I got bonus points for "gratuituous use of British slang". See if you can pick them out.

There was a huge blackout in my area of town last night. My first thought was, "Oh, shit! It's 6/6/06!" and looked up at the moon, which just so happened to be covered by clouds. My second thought? Zombies. I told Mich I wouldn't hesitate to bludgen her with a baseball bat if she turned into one.

It's SO HOT! My house has to be about 90 degrees right now. I've got to study for my Business Law final that's tomorrow... wish me luck. I might need it.

I'm off to stand in front of my fan and move from side to side as it oscillates. What a trying life I lead.

I'll post a good post soon when I'm not so busy.

Peace out!

Challenge Accepted.

Sorry I haven't posted in forever, I owe everyone a long one. So here it is.

I think that in a past life, I was still a goober, but a goober in different time and place. I'm thinking I was in England, in the not-so-very-distant past.

"Bloody fuck!" I said, wiping mud off of my shoe, "I just got these bloody things and they cost me fifty bloody pounds!" "Calm down, Whitney" said my commander, "If you didn't buy such stylish shoes then you wouldn't have to worry about getting them dirty. This is England, you know. It rains. A lot. Get used to it; and I've got an assignment for you."
It had been a while since I had received an assignment, having been stuck behind a desk following an incident of rather epic proportions. I'd really rather not talk about it. "What is it, sir?! Pirates smuggling tea from South America? Drug kingpins staging fights in their favor?" I said. "No, I'm afraid not, dear. Something a bit more drab. You've got to check on Thomas Black. He was a witness to a crime, and all you've got to do is make sure he's not lying on the floor in a puddle of blood. At least not today." "Fine." I said, "Anything to get me out from behind this damned desk!" I picked up my coat, reached for the door, and grabbed for the door knob. "Ah, ah, ah!" my boss tutted. I shot him a look and grabbed an umbrella. "Horrid English weather!" I muttered to myself as I walked out the door.
The walk to Thomas Black's flat was a long one. I didn't mind. Being the daughter of the Chief of Police had it benefits, however, I wasn't fortunate enough to have a vehicle, despite all my best efforts to get one. Women are few and far between in my line of work, and still tend to get the short end of the stick. "Good old reliable Whitney," I thought to myself, "always the yeoman, never the frontman." I reached his building in about ten minutes and stood in front of it. Broken glass littered the pavement around the first floor windows, where downtrodden street dwellers had probably entered to get out of the cold. Only a few lights illuminated the windows facing the street. "Brilliant security system, Black." I mumbled as I pressed the bell to ring his flat. "YOU BLOODY WEED-EATER!" the intercom blared. "I BLOODY TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT THE BLOODY NEWSPAPER ANYMORE! I'M GOING TO COME DOWN THERE AND PUT YOU IN THE BOOT OF ME CAR MESELF!" "Sir, calm down, I'm detective Whitney Kensington, with the UK Police Service. I've been sent here to check up on you. May I come up?" There was a pause, followed by a buzzing noise and the click of a latch. "If you must," the intercom screeched, "but wipe your shoes before you come in." Wipe them where? I thought to myself, gingerly stepping over a broken bottle and banging my shoes on the doorframe.
As I walked up the stairs, I wondered why I had actually been sent here to check on this man. Normally, I could have simply given him a ring to see if he was home, and briefly inquired if he was indeed alright. I sensed immediately that this wasn't going to be a quick pop-in. My commander had been terribly delicate with me after I had nearly gotten my head blown off, and that was alright with me. I was always a bit skittish, and became even more fragile after what had happened. Arriving at the top of the stairs, I knocked on the door. "Mister Black?" I said. A shadow darkened the peephole and I heard a succession of locks being turned. A man's skeptical face peered around the opened door.
Mid twenties, Thomas Black had dark hair, clear green eyes and a few days' stubble. "Police service, eh? Show me your badge then." "Are you serious?!" I exclaimed, and seeing his shoulders tense, I complied, rummaging around in my bag until I found it. "There you go. May I come in now?" I said. Still looking wary, he opened the door all the way and ushered me inside, redoing the locks upon my entry. "Rats." Thomas Black said, with a look of conviction. “Pardon?" I said, unsure of what he was talking about. "Rats, ya know, crafty little buggers, get in and eat all my crisps. That's why I've got the locks. Keep those bastards out." I gave him a half-smile, not sure if he was joking or not. Men, I thought to myself, they're always trying to prove that they're not afraid of anything. "Mister Black, we both know that's not why I'm here. Why don't you tell me why I am here?" Black stood up and crossed the room, drawing the shades down on his sole window. "The MOBB is after me." "The Mob? Sir, I can assure you that there isn't a problem--" "Not the Mob, The MOBB! The Ministry of Black Belts! Those stealthy buggers know I know!" Taken slightly aback, I looked at him to see if he was lying. "Know you know what?" I said. "Know I know! About Kim Chin! And his brains being spattered all over an alley, that's all!" "Wait, wait, wait." I said, "Does my commander know about this?" "Well, they know I saw something, and they found the body, but I wouldn't tell them anything. I was far too afraid. I've even told you too much!" He got up and began to undo the locks. "Sir! Wait!" I exclaimed, now remembering where I knew Black's name from. A few weeks back, there had been a young man named Kim Chin brutally beaten in an alley in a questionable part of town. Reports were released in all of the papers, requesting any information known. Apparently, Thomas Black had shown up, visibly shaken, claiming to have seen the murder. He couldn't name names, remember faces, or recall what was said. After eight grueling hours in the interrogation room, he was released, apparently to be thrown under my impatient watch. "Why me?" I thought. Certainly some of my more brutish counterparts would have been better suited to protect this man than me. "You've already told me more than you've told anyone else. Please go on, it will be alright, I promise." Black hesitated, hand on the doorknob. "Alright, but you've got to promise me that you won't drag anyone else into this. I've had it with your police cohorts and their skullduggery." I looked into his eyes, and seeing apprehension and disdain for my fellow police officers, replied with a quick "yes, sure, fine". The more information I could get from this bloke, the better I could look in front of all of those men, not to mention my father. "Tell me all about it." I said, with a placating smile on my face.
"It all started when I got into gambling." Black began, "At first it was nightly poker games with my mates, you know, friendly like. But soon that wasn't enough. I started to bet on horse races, but even that wasn't enough. I wanted more, something new to spend my money on. Gambling made me feel more alive than anything before. After a particularly disappointing loss, I drank myself silly at a pub close to the track. I stumbled out into the street to go home. I came across a group of lads, all Asian, all wearing red headbands. One of them wasn't wearing shoes. 'No shoes, eh mate!? Can't afford 'em, yeah?!' I slurred. The next thing I remember was waking up chewing on one of my molars. The lad with no shoes had knocked me out clean, with one kick. Now, this made me stop gambling for a few days, being that I was in so much pain, but after that subsided, I was mad. Seething mad. I had been kicked (not punched like in a proper fight) by a kid! I decided I was going out to settle the score." Black's eyes glinted while he recollected, fists clenching and unclenching. "I waited for them in the pub, in a seat by the window. I wasn't sure if I would see them again, but sure enough, around one a.m. they emerged from an underground station, a few of them wiping their bloody noses on their sleeves, others nursing black eyes. 'Be a man, Thomas' I said to myself and stormed into the street. 'Oy! You! The chap with no shoes who kicked me! Me fist would like a word with you!' I looked down and realized none of them were wearing shoes. I decided then and there that I would settle things with words and not with my fists as I intended. 'I...uh...bloody hell...' I stammered. 'I'd like to, erm, organize you.' 'Organize this, you git!' said the tallest one, obviously their leader, as his fist sailed towards my jaw. Without thinking, I ducked and threw my body weight behind an uppercut aimed for his face. Feeling my flesh on his flesh, I realized that I had connected with something. Their leader stumbled backwards and the others caught him, pushing him forward. Knowing I couldn't physically beat him, I decided the next best way would be to talk my way out of it. 'Pounds!' I squealed. "'Pounds sterling! I'll give you part if you let me watch you do...erm... what you do.' 'Not even for...' I dug into my pocket, feeling the bundle of bills I was taking to the track tomorrow. '...one hundred pounds? Just to let me and a few of my mates watch you fight?' Their leader looked at the notes, greed glinting in his eyes. I wondered if he was going to take my offer or beat me up and take my money. His mind seemed to have settled on the former. 'Deal,' he said, spitting when he talked, 'but no more than a few of your mates. Meet us in that tube station at 10 o'clock. Do not be late.' "
Black seemed more relaxed, fingering a hole in his couch and pulling bits of stuffing out. He then went on to explain how he had set up an underground gambling circuit of men who enjoyed watching these young blokes fight. More and more men started coming, and soon it was a major (although illegal) event. Thomas Black was making thousands of pounds each week, and enjoying the good life. "They pitted the weakest against the weakest, the strongest against the strongest, with their Leader, Wing, always coming out on top. I noticed one of the weaker fighters, Kim Chin, moving up the food chain slowly, and after a few months he was face to face with Wing. Wing always enjoyed his success, because it was expected that he would win, as a sign of respect. 'Are you ready to taste the ground?' Wing taunted Kim, dancing around him. 'No!' yelled Kim, and delivered a punishing blow to Wing's chest. Wing, daunted by Kim's sudden move, struggled to get his breath back. 'You had better be careful, Kim san, or I might kill you.' Wing's breath was unsteady yet dripping with ice. I knew then that they were out for blood."
Black paused, drawing a deep breath. "Wing knew Kim was better than him and he wanted him out. Out of the Ministry of Black Belts, out of London, out of his sight. Wing wanted Kim dead. After the fight was over, and a tired Wing had been made a laughingstock, with happy gamblers counting their notes while Wing walked out in shame."
Black went on to describe how he saw Wing kill Kim, catching him off guard and slamming his head into the cement alley wall. "I couldn't watch," Black said, "So I went back and pretended nothing happened, saying nothing when Wing came in with Kim's blood on his face, passing me without a glance, daring me to say something. Now you know why I can't come forward. Wing is going to kill me." "Don't worry, Mister Black,"I said, "I'll ring for a car and we'll pop into the station so you can give a statement and then we'll set you up in a nice hotel where no one can find you. Let me just ring my commander and let him know we're coming." "No!" Black screamed, "I've got to get to a safe place! What if they don't believe me and Wing is waiting for me when I get out?! Give me your mobile... and your gun. I'll feel safer that way." "That's a terrible idea; I won't be able to defend you or myself if he does come!" I said, knowing that I had another gun strapped to my ankle. Pretending to give in, I unholstered my gun, taking the clip out. "I'll keep this" I said, with a grin. Thomas Black's face faltered. He wanted the bullets. "I'm not going to let you do something irrational, Mister Black, like blow your brains out or anything!" I let out a false laugh. He was acting erratically, only caring about protect himself. I had the feeling that he wouldn't mind me taking a few bullets for him. "Alright, sir, I think that's all I need, thank you so much for your time!" I slipped the clip into my bag, seeing how his eyes followed it as it went. I scrambled to my feet, not even bothering to gather my things, and undid all of the locks on his door. I flung it open and came face to face with a man wearing a red bandana around his dark-hair. I gasped.
This must be Wing. He had the powerful body of a fighter, with a menacing stare. "Step back into the flat, please." He said, face devoid of emotion, with a quiver of rage lacing his request. "Oh, I, erm, I was just leaving, you know, just popped 'round for tea!" I said, desperately trying to formulate a plan. "It's not an option, miss. Kindly sit down." I slowly walked backward, falling into the chair I had just sprung out of. "Wing. Oh god. I..." said Black. He seemed to know that he wasn't going to talk his way out of the situation this time. I tried to figure out a way to get to the gun that was by my ankle without Wing seeing me. I quickly bent over, fumbling with the strap. However, Wing grabbed my hair and made me sit upright. "There'll be none of that, miss," he said. I winced and rubbed my head. He turned to Black, who was sitting on the couch, looking defeated. "You know why I'm here," Wing said, as I slowly inched my hand down my thigh. "You killed my brother." I stopped, dumbstruck. "You killed Kim and now I'm going to kill you." "You killed Kim?!" I yelped, immediately regretting being back in either man's periphery. Black, resigned to his fate, looked at Wing, sighed and said, "Yes. I killed him. He cost me so many pounds I couldn't even count. The underdog is never supposed to win! I lost everything that night, just because Kim had to prove himself." Wing wasn’t going to hear Black’s excuses. He grunted, pulled back his arm and smashed his fist into Black's face. The sound was sickening. He turned to me and said, "Don't move." I sunk deeper into my chair. How was I to get out?! I looked around and slowly moved my hand toward an empty lager bottle. My hand wrapped around it and I hurled it at the window, forgetting the shade was still down. The crash that it made was loud enough to make Wing turn his blood spattered face towards the sound.
I ran for it, out the door and down the stairs, the sound of my heart pumping louder than the thudding of my feet on the stairs. Wishing I had a megaphone to tell someone what I had just witnessed, I ran out and got in the first taxi I saw.

Months later...

I've been sacked. When a witness under your watch suddenly gets pummeled to death and you simply run away, you don't typically get a second chance. I've got a job at a metro station now, making change and giving out information. It's quiet. As I lean over to grab a stack of flyers and put them on the counter, a hand grabs my wrist. I look up and see a pair of brown eyes staring back at me. "Remember me?" Wing hisses. Seeing the fear on my face, he loosens his grip and his expression relaxes. His face turns red and a tear comes to his eye. "His soul is at peace now. My brother's death has been righted." I stare at him, not answering, hoping he'll let go. I don’t know who to believe, who really killed Kim. He walks off, blending in with everyone else. I notice a man leaning against a trash can staring at me. He has clear green eyes, face indiscernible, mangled and hidden under a scarf. He limps off, following Wing into the crowd.

Ok, so it's only a first draft. If you've managed to make it this far, I love you. I really, really love you. Toodeloo!

Eep.

I can't believe that I didn't post at all this entire weekend.

New post to come soon.

This is why I'm so weird...

A conversation between myself and my dad resulted in this:
Concerning making jokes about crack...
Dad: yup...i used one yesterday...the smoke alarm went off, and I checked the basement where Jacob (my step-brother) and Sam were still sleeping...reported back to Connie (my step mom) ..."it's just the boys and their crack pipes"

No wonder people think I'm strange. ;)

Ohhhh Don Piano

Jesus jesus jesus. My friend Carmen sent me this link a few weeks ago, but it's just too fucking cool not to mention. Don't think cats can talk? Well here you go:

http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=24b22dad-6cee-4463-81cd-ff637c28b824&t=s5&f=06/64&p=hotvideo_viralvideos

Whether they know what they're saying is still debatable.

So! I was looking at this flyer I got outside of the Trio show for all of the upcoming Soda Jerk shows and I noticed a band called "KillWhitneyDead". How fucking cool (yet morbid) is that?!?!?! I went to their myspace, and the type of music that they play is classified as "Metal/Hardcore/DeathMetal". Jesus, it's so insane. You HAVE to go to the MySpace site, it's so worth it. It's so bad. This is going to sound judgemental, but people who listen to that kind of music probably has a shit ton of rage. I'm gonna make a leap and say that their fan base is probably 99% dudes. Sweaty dudes. Dudes who don't wear deodorant and still rock jean shorts. As I was typing this, a song of theirs was going in the background and I got so annoyed that I yelled "FUCK!" and had to pause it. Filled me with rage in less than 30 seconds. Still, I have to get a t-shirt or something. How could I not?

http://www.myspace.com/killwhitneydead




I was going to write a big post on music news, but I'm so sleepy... so I'll post the short and short of it.
How pissed is Thom Yorke of Radiohead right now? Apparently his solo album was leaked over a month in advance of it's release date. He apparently had the ideas "kicking around his head" for a few years but it only took a short time for the album to be realized. And, to add insult to injury, Yahoo Music News added an entire song list of the CD, so anyone can pirate it as quickly as their little fingers can take them.
Here's an interview with Mike, aka The Streets. He's really humble, and I love how he's not terribly overproduced.
http://music.yahoo.com/read/interview/12062204

Alright, well my tumbly is growling and I need a nap. Peace out!

Photo Crimes and Misdemeanors

I was alerted this morning that my blog was linked from my friend Hanna's photo blog, so I figured I'd give her a shout out.

http://photocrimesandmisdemeanors.blogspot.com/

Hanna's photos are everything you'd like to be and more. Take that.