"What's Up, Vanilla Face?"

I'm sorry about the title of this post. I swear to god, I'm going to wear out that phrase before everyone else does. So from now on, I'm going to be saying "yeckshimesh!" for hello and "Shinqueed" for goodbye. Take that, masses. Take that.

As you've probably noticed from my less than cheerful intro to this post, I'm grumpy. "Why?" you ask? (Or didn't, seeing as you would normally just gaze over my shoulder at a dent in the wall and tune me out after muttering, "oh, no way.") I've had a l-o-o-o-o-o-n-g week. I don't know exactly why. I had a marketing test and a finance project due at the end of this week, which was fairly manageable, but I remember looking at my planner on Tuesday and thinking to myself, "it's only fucking Tuesday?!" Yes, my darlings, I am a lump of grump. But let's try to move past that.

I remember Evan's roomate Tyler asking me once, "if you were an animal, what would you be?" Actually, it was more like, "IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE?!?!?!" because it was loud in the bar, but that doesn't translate so well into writing. I think, that if I were any animal, I would be this little guy:

An otter delightfully licking the glass of whatever cage it happens to be in. Is that weird?

So on my AIM buddy window, (I don't know if anyone has noticed this) there are these damned eyeballs that follow you everywhere on the top. I was sitting here trying to think of what to write about and wiggling my mouse over them and decided to click the banner, once and for all. Guess what it turned out to be?
"PARANOIA:
Just one of the few effects of smoking marijuana. Along with short-term memory loss. Apathy. Loss of coordination. And, for some, it may increase the risk for schizophrenia."
Really? I mean, I'm no pothead, that's for sure, but I think it's interesting that these campaigns rely heavily on fear to get kids not to smoke pot. And it's a completely proven fact that kids will make their own decisions whether or not to get high and the ads simply don't work. I think that people just get all fussy when they don't think the National Center for Drug Control isn't doing anything to get kids not to do drugs, instead of educating their own damn children why drugs are bad. Baaaad drugs.

Ok, stepping off of my pedestal...

I downloaded the new Lupe Fiasco CD the other day but have been too busy to even listen to it a lot. What I did hear of it I actually liked. He is coming to the Aggie (gasp) and I might go see him. It's on a Sunday (the 22nd) though. My Sundays are for doing nothing but complaining about work. Anyways, I would go through the CD right now and give you a rundown of the tracks, but Burt is sleeping, and when I wake up Burt, it's not pretty. Doing shit like that is how I got a pair of balls drawn on my dresser mirror in eyeliner. Damn you, loud voice! Damn you to hell!

Oh! Happy Friday the 13th. It's... Ok, seriously. Doesn't this happen every year?! I should just start saying, "happy Columbus day!" and then punching people in the face. That'll make you apprehensive of Columbus day, now won't it?! Damn straight it will.

Alright, well I'm going to make myself some food before I go to work.... yuck. Here's hoping that everyone will decide to go on a "no sandwich" diet and I can keep myself from stabbing my bare finger through the sandwiches I do make. (I don't do that. I swear.) This new marketing assistant job I got is so much better. I do about half the work for one and a half times the pay. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Good Bloggie -- Now With Drunk!

Sorry, my friends. I love the Good Bloggie. I love it so much that I will post anything my dear heart writes, including that rambling and incredily shitty post I wrote the other day. Desole, mes petits. Desole.
(And that's not de-sole, like you silly Americans probably pronounce it dans vos tetes, it's de-sol-ay, comme les francais. And there should be a cedille on that "c"in "francais" and an accent aigue on that "e" in "desole". And why are you paying attention still? Who the hell cares?!?!)

My point is that I have literally been drinking since 12:30 this afternoon because of the football game against UNLV, who we apparently trounced, but I am still unaware of the final score because I was too busy complaining that my alabaster skin was getting burned and that I wanted another hot dog. Oops.
Hmm. Anyhoo, we went to the game, went to the Pickle Barrel, which was closed because they ran out of bread, (damnit) went to Cheba Hut, ate Cheba, went to Gruber's, laughed at an overturned butter container and it's subsequent lazy effects on the people areound it, (don't ask) went to Sullivan's, drank 8 dollar double Red Bull vodka's, (damnit) got a ride downtown, waited in line for 10 mins for Lucky's, drank, drank, drank, drank, drank, sang, drank, drank, yelled, drank, and came home. I'm actually fairly surprised I can type this well considering the circumstances. I'm sure I'll read this tomorrow and utter, "WTF!?"
I literally speak in AIM language. It's sad.
Wait, what was I talking about?!
OH! I remember.
Good Bloggie will, as of 3 hits from now, be at 1400 views! WOW!! WOWEE WOW WOW!!!
I just wanted to say thank you, to my loyal readers, and the random people who search on Google for dirty things that I happen to mention out of context in this blog. Thank you very much. Boobies fire Lindsay Lohan boobies squirrel vagina booty. Think that'll raise my hits?!
Hrmph. I think it's time to watch Scrubs on the DVR and drink massive quantities of water out of my Nalgene.
Bonne nuit!

Wait, What Was I Talking About?

So there seems to be a lot of buzz surrounding The Hold Steady on the internet. I didn't know a lot about these guys, other than every 30-second clip on iTunes sounds the same and that after listening to that, I decided I didn't like them. However, I decided to give them a second chance and listen to them on http://www.vagrant.com/holdsteady_listeningparty/. I'm still on the fence. I like the music, I just can't decide whether I like the singer's voice. I feel like this would be a good band to sit and drink $4.00 beers to and get sloshed and start swaying around to. If you read Pitchfork Media (a website chock full of indie goodness) at all, you would know how much they love The Hold Steady. Actually, they're a good site to check out for reviews. I actually forgot that The Decemberists came out with a new album! I really, really liked Picaresque. The Decemberists are actually a really interesting band because their lead singer was a creative writing major in college, and kind of uses their music as an outlet for his writing. That's why their songs tell actual stories, instead of being just a few verses about nothing followed by a hook and a bridge. I think that music like they play throws back to old musicians like John Prine, who sang slow, sad, odd country songs about people other than himself. Angel from Mongomery by Prine is a song so simple you can turn it into whatever you want. My dad actually taught me how to play it with chords.
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/38886/The_Decemberists_The_Crane_Wife

The Decemberists: (Super fucking awesome music video)


John Prine:



Speaking of playing "these songs with chords" (gratuitous Deathcab reference) when the hell is the new Postal Service album going to come out?! I'm pretty sure there's something in the works... Shoot.
So I know that he's totally commercialized by Pharell (and if you need to latch on to somebody, he's the man to do it to) but I just can't get Lupe Fiasco's new song out of my head!


Ok well I have to go play guitar so I hope that this rambling post was enough to keep you sated for a while.

-- Whit Dizzle

Shmehhh?

Gah. I was sitting in front of my computer yesterday with an open blogger template in front of me and I literally could not think of what to write. Damn blogger's block.

I just finished watching like, 3 hours of TV, if not more. First, Lost, which infuriated me because I love the show so much, but I have this horrifying feeling that they are going to jerk me around for the next 26 or however many episodes and not answer any questions. Who are The Others?! What do they want?! Where did they get coffee and bread?! Why are there so many damn commercials?! Augh!
I actually saw some pictures a while ago of some kids vacationing in Hawaii who stumbled upon Lost's unguarded set, and took pictures eating the Dharma Initiative's food and posing outside the tents and stuff. So cool, but I can't seem to find them anymore.
After that, I watched episodes of Project Runway that I DVR'ed. It turns out that Uli, Jeffrey, Laura and Michael are all going to fashion week. It baffled me why they took such a long hiatus but it turns out that it was for the remaining designers to create their 12 designs for fashion week and also to present them during. I'm so excited to see who wins! The winning designer's line will actually be available at Macy's, and ever since they bought out Foleys, we have one here. So that's pretty sweet. The last episode is going to be so awesome. 7 out of like, 12 of Uli's models got too drunk the night before and might not make it, and Laura accuses Jeffrey of not making all of his dresses, alleging that he used outside help to make them. I hate that I have to wait a week for this!
I was recording two things at once (Lost and Project Runway) and so I missed America's Next Top Model. Damnit. I just love seeing Tyra swing her weave around and bug her eyes out -- I literally could watch an hour of Tyra being Tyra. Actually, I suppose that would be the Tyra Banks Show, a show in which I have little to no interest. There was a clip from Tyra on The Soup and her attention grabber was, "Today, a girl is going to actually lose her virginity ON THIS SHOW." It one of those "uh guh?!" moments where you're like, "shoot. When is Oprah on? I'd rather cry about abandoned children than watch Tyra talk about sex."

Uhhhh.... uhhhh.... See?! This would be the block talking. I'm going out tomorrow (big surprise) and so maybe I'll have pictures to post. I haven't posted pictures in a while because I haven't had batteries in my camera, and all the pictures I do take are of me trying to look hot while having like 17 double chins or a straw up my nose. I got this idea of making an entire photo album in b&w on Facebook, but out of the like, 50 pictures that I took the other night, I only got about 3 god ones. Damn you, 4-for-1's! Never again. Or tomorrow, either or.
I think I'm going to stay in on Friday after working because we have our homecoming game on Saturday, and I plan to start boozing at about 1pm. Here's hoping I make it though the football witching hour from 6-9. (That's the time when your body is pissed at you and you have to either nap or party.)
Let's root for party.

This would probably be the time when I write about the latest celebrity gossip, because I seem to have an unhealthy affinity for it, but it seems like it's the same-ol-same-ol lately. I think that's because I literally drown my brain in gossip websites and E! television. I've got to get a hobby. I actually started reading A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, and it's decent so far despite his insistance on capitalizing some proper nouns and not others. "They took me to The Unit where I ate Oatmeal and went to the bathroom. I then dreamed about Coke and Glue...." etc... I dunno. Some writers' styles are really easy to grasp, and some aren't. The best is when I finish a book and I start writing or speaking like them.

This semester is flying by! I register for next semester in like, 22 days. Damn. It's so weird thinking about how I'm going to be attending my friends' graduation parties and I won't be graduating. Oh well. I don't feel like an adult anyways.

So tired... au revoir.