YAAAAY Bloggie!!!

I just got my computer fixed -- if you're reading this, it means that you desperately clung to the hope the GB would someday return. Never fear, darlings. Whit Dizzle is here.

No, honestly, I was getting pangs of guilt for not writing. It's incredible having a computer that works. I have no idea what happened to it, it just decided to stop running most of my Microsoft applications. Which -- I don't know if you know -- is fucking everything. Anyhoo, it's nice to be back. Tip your waitress.

I just downloaded some awesome songs. I know that I try to be all hardcore and indie, but sometimes you just need to dance, or yell at the top of your lungs. These are the songs I downloaded: (I know some of them aren't super sweet, but keep in mind I haven't been able to even acquire songs for a while now.)
- Pat Benatar - I am the Warrior
- Pat Benatar - We Belong
- Pat Benatar - Hot Child in the City
- Keane - Is it Any Wonder
- Hellogoodbye - (Here) In Your Arms
- Ciara - Promise
- Akon ft. Snoop - Wanna Love You
- RHCP - Snow (Hey Oh)
And I got a new version of the Teddybears' "Yours to Keep," even though my version is still the best. I also made the most kickass CD, and I was going to post the track listing, but I just don't have the patience for it.

The past couple of days, I've been drinking my face off. Thursday, we went to Sullivan's for 4-for-1's, which I ended up having 17032o47 of. Ugh. The next day, my friend Deanna and I decided that the only thing that was going to make us feel better was a huge burger and fries with a beer at Pott's. It was glorious. Then, we went with Andy and Amy to Andy's house, and tried to watch Talldega Nights, but every single one of us ended up falling asleep on our respective couches. Andy had built this ramp with a kicker at the end out of snow in his backyard and everyone took turns going off of it and usually crashing. We then decided to start drinking at like, 6 or 7, and drank straight through dinner. I'm an idiot. A "dance-on-the-bar, accidentally-pour-shots-down-my-face, pee-in-an-alley" idiot. Damnit. It sure was fun.

My dad got me a home theatre system for christmas, so we came and set it up the other day... it's absoloutely fabulous. I've been watching everything I can with the sound way up and giggling whenever the sub rattles the floor.

Break is almost over, what the fuck?

Yet another internet-dictated choice of mine, The View rocks. They're a band from Scotland, and they're all like, 20ish. They have a sound thats kind of... One Man Army meets the Hold Steady. Just watch the video.



Well, my stomach is getting angry. If I don't eat like, every 20 minutes, I fall over and die. True story.
Ok, not true, but I'm still hungry.
I'm going to keep Good Bloggie up this time, kids, I promise.


I'm gonna leave you with this ridiculously awesome mashup between Billy Idol's "White Wedding" and Justin Timberlake's "Like I Love You."

Here A Bar, There A Bar...

So, kiddies, sorry I haven’t been writing lately. I have been kind of boring, doing a lot of school stuff, and my computer is just insanely broken. It takes at least a hundred years for it to do anything, which is not very condusive to blogging. Anyhoo, my friend Brandon has been overseas for like, a year now, and asked me to compile a list of the bars in Fort Collins for him… so, here we go:

Whit Dizzle’s Guide to the Fort Collins Bar Scene... for Shizzle


I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the bar scene here, because I’ve been 21 for about four months now, and had been going to the bars for about 4 months before that. Don’t tell my mom. I usually find myself drawn to bars that have good drink prices, or a good atmosphere.

I’m going to start on College Avenue, and work my way down. The first bar of note is Tony’s. Tony’s is an interesting bar… It’s pretty big, with a bunch of tables, and about 3 or 4 pool tables. There’s an outdoor patio, which isn’t much use when the weather is like, 30 degrees like it has been. They have really good shot specials -- $2.00 for Rumplemintz, Cuervo, and Jager shots all the time. On Wednesdays, they have incredible beer specials -- $1.00 for all domestics and Fort Collins Micros. However, if you are a guy, you’re going to find yourself at a 5-to-1 guy to girl ratio. If you’re a girl, this is fantastic, and seeing as beers are only one dollar, you can usually get most of your drinks bought for you. On all other nights, however, the scene kind of changes and you begin to realize what Tony’s is all about – being creepy. I swear to god, they let homeless people in -- it’s not a regular night at Tony’s unless you’re completely grossed out by someone in the bar. Although if you can look past that, it’s a pretty fun bar… you’ll always hear “Don’t Stop Believin,’” which pretty much excuses everything else.

Continuing down College, cross the street and you come upon The Drunken Monkey. This bar is unlike most of the others in town. They don’t seem to realize that college students are poor, and charge an outrageous price for their drinks. Their selling point is that they have these swings that hang right in front of the bar. They are cool, yes, but they kick you off if you’re too drunk or you’ve ordered more than three drinks. There’s some sort of weird cage that you can get your drunken friends thrown into… I dunno, I’ve only been there 3 or 4 times. It’s fun, but only if someone else is buying your drinks.

Almost next door is Old Chicago – the best place to grab a beer and pizza with your friends. They have a pretty big bar with a ton of TV’s, so if you get there early enough, you can get a seat and watch the Broncos or the Avs games. They have insane happy hour specials, and since my roommate Michelle works there, we usually get an additional discount, which is sweet. They usually have good beer specials, because they have like 30 beers on tap, including a lot of locals that you can’t find anywhere else.

Down College, taking a left on Mountain, you will find yourself at the Rio Grande. I’m sure everyone knows about their ridiculous margaritas and their not-so-good food, so I won’t spend a long time on them. Let’s just say they cut you off at three margaritas, which have about three shots of tequila in them each. The margs there are a bit pricey – about $5.50 for the regular ones and $3.50 for the smaller ones.

Across the street, you have Stakeout and Trailhead. Most people think that these two bars are interchangeable, but I don’t really think so. I love Stakeout, and don’t really care for Trailhead. Stakeout is a totally chill bar, with two pool tables upstairs and shuffleboard and dartboards downstairs. On Fridays, you can get Blue Moon and Major Tom’s for $2.00. Don’t get the Major Tom’s – after about three of them you feel like you’ve been drinking syrup. The basement of Stakeout is awesome because it’s this tiny room with a tiny bar and terrible wallpaper with fish on it. It is literally like you’re partying in someone’s grandma’s basement. It’s really cozy though, and you can hang out with your friends without having to yell at the top of your lungs. Trailhead is (sorry, Trailhead fans) a big time hippy bar. It’s really, really relaxed. I was waiting for the bathroom once and some hippy girl came in and stuck her face under the faucet and just started drinking water straight from it. So, if you’re into that, you’ll fit right in.

Leaving Trailhead and walking down Mountain, and turning right back onto College, you’ll find yourself at the Town Pump. This bar is awesome because the bar area is probably 20 feet by 20 feet. There are about 15-20 stools in the whole bar – it’s literally a hole in the wall. The specialty there are these maraschino cherries that are soaked in everclear – something other bars don’t have that will surely get you drunk. (That is, if you can fit all of your friends into the damn place.)

A few doors down from the Town Pump is the Vault. It’s called “the Vault” because it is in an old building that used to house a bank. It’s one of those places that has a really authentic “Fort Collins” feel. It’s pretty small, but it has a fireplace, and sometimes they have a DJ in the front. It’s a really relaxed, chill place, with a small bar.

Close to the Vault, you’ll see Surfside 7. I’ve only been there once, and it’s a bar with a definite scene – when I went there, they were blasting Alkaline Trio and I was instantly excited. It’s usually filled with people in their mid-20’s, all with tattoos and piercings and black shirts. I want to go back; I just can’t get any of my damn friends to go with me.

Going up college, and taking a left is Washington’s (more affectionately known as “Wash Bar”) I’ve actually never been to Wash Bar on any other night than Thursdays, which is college night. Before 10:00, they have a $4.00 cover, where you can drink all you want. After 10:00, there is a $3.00 cover, and ridiculous drink specials. It’s like, $2.00 for beers and singles, and $3.00 for doubles and long islands. They also have these monster beers (I’m talking like, 40 something ounces) for $4.00. It’s a huge place, so a lot of people always go.

Meandering back to College, and then taking a left onto Linden, you’ll find a few places. First, I’ll mention Suhiro, which isn’t a bar, but they have amazing sushi (and really great lunch specials) and sake bombs. It’s a little expensive to drink sake, but it is such a fun thing to do every so often.

Across the street is Elliot’s Martini Bar. This place is sweet. It’s pretty small, and kind of swanky, but the martinis are fabulous. They have long, comfy booths and brick walls. Their drinks run a little bit expensive, but if you want to, you can get them to make any of their martinis into shots.

Walking down Linden and across the street, you’ll find yourself in the square. On your left is Zydeco’s, a place that my friends and I have found ourselves at a lot lately. They play a lot of hip-hop music that you can dance to, and they let you dance on the bar there, which is so much fun. The only downside is that the bartenders are raging bitches. Seriously. I’ve never had a positive experience with any of them there, I have no idea why. I consider myself a really good tipper and haven’t ever said anything bitchy, so it’s a damn mystery. I never have cash on me and always use my debit card when I go out, and they have this damn $10.00 minimum rule. I bought two shots of tequila once, which was $6.00, and the bartender refused to run my card for less than $10.00, even after I asked her like, 4 times to just run the damn thing. She ended up running the my card for $10.00, essentially giving herself like, a 65% tip. Bitch. That’s why I always bring cash when I go there now. Across the square, there is Suite 152, which is totally overpriced and filled with weird people, so I’m not going to even get into it.

Finally, we have Lucky Joe’s. This is far and above my favorite bar. They have such a fun and relaxed atmosphere, pretty good drink prices, and on weekends, they usually have a live band. The best part about Lucky Joes? Peanuts. They have a huge barrel of them that you can eat and throw and balance on your nose if you want to. I actually have a saying about Lucky’s: “It’s not a good night unless you come home with peanuts in your purse.” More often than not, I’ll find like, three crushed peanuts in my pocket or purse the next day.

Whoo. So there you have it, the bars in Foco. I’m sure I left some out, but I think this list is comprehensive enough. Hopefully those of you who are familiar with the scene will try some new bars out, and those of you who were completely unfamiliar with them feel more acquainted.

Also, below are the drink specials for most of the bars here. You're welcome.

Wait. Aren’t I supposed to be studying?! Damnit.

BAAAAAD BLOGGIE!

Oh god. I'm sorry. Will you ever forgive me?I know we haven't spoken in a while, and I swear, darling, you're my one and only. You know my eyes drift once and a while, I can't help that. I love you, baby. I love you like the sun loves the clouds, or the moon loves the... whoa! Shiny! Oh. Sorry darling.

No, really, I'm terribly appalled at how long it's been since I've written in my blog. It's not like I've had a shortage of things to write about, (I'll lay awake nights thinking of things to put in here) it's that I have had some terrible computer problems. The thing runs like someone dumped honey into the motherboard. It's really, really, frustrating, so much so, that I can't even stand to be around the thing. Worst part about it? I just got my hands on a super huge, beautiful 19-inch monitor that I can't even use because I just want to punch it. Which is bad. Very bad.

The past few weeks have been fairly stressful... I started my internship and was still working my other job, all while going to school. Well, happily enough, I've quit my sandwich job and will be working through the week and then will be done with it. Yes! It's going to be so nice not to have to deal with customers or work on the weekends or until 1am, as I am most likely going to have to do on Wednesday. Guh.

Halloween was last week, and it was reeeeeeeeediculous. It was just a huge shitshow... I dressed up in a different costume each night. I had like, one million ideas but we only ended up going out Friday, Saturday and Tuesday.

Friday: 80's Girls














Saturday: Army girl, Superwoman, Nurse, and Pocahontas















Et, finallement, Tuesday... Firefighters!

*image unavailable*

So yeah, school is stressful, and work is stressful, and I'm not going to my finance class because I've been up since 7:15, and need to study for my Marketing class.... and my eyes look all weird. I swear, they're rimmed in red. I look like I've been doing meth. Do you think teachers will pass you if they think you've become addicted to meth? Or is that, like a personal choice, not one of will? Yeah, that might not fly.

I love how my blog is such a source for hypocrisy. I will literally bash something one day, and then like, a month later, I'll be like, "Eh.... eets not so bad." Case in point: leggings. So shoot me. Case in point (part deux): The Hold Steady. Every time I hear this one song of theirs on KCSU, I'll turn it up and silently curse my blog for making it easier to point out when I'm wrong. I hate being wrong.

Well, shit. I just realized that I left my car in the student center lot and my meter is going to run out in approximately 22 minutes. Gotta go!

"What's Up, Vanilla Face?"

I'm sorry about the title of this post. I swear to god, I'm going to wear out that phrase before everyone else does. So from now on, I'm going to be saying "yeckshimesh!" for hello and "Shinqueed" for goodbye. Take that, masses. Take that.

As you've probably noticed from my less than cheerful intro to this post, I'm grumpy. "Why?" you ask? (Or didn't, seeing as you would normally just gaze over my shoulder at a dent in the wall and tune me out after muttering, "oh, no way.") I've had a l-o-o-o-o-o-n-g week. I don't know exactly why. I had a marketing test and a finance project due at the end of this week, which was fairly manageable, but I remember looking at my planner on Tuesday and thinking to myself, "it's only fucking Tuesday?!" Yes, my darlings, I am a lump of grump. But let's try to move past that.

I remember Evan's roomate Tyler asking me once, "if you were an animal, what would you be?" Actually, it was more like, "IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE?!?!?!" because it was loud in the bar, but that doesn't translate so well into writing. I think, that if I were any animal, I would be this little guy:

An otter delightfully licking the glass of whatever cage it happens to be in. Is that weird?

So on my AIM buddy window, (I don't know if anyone has noticed this) there are these damned eyeballs that follow you everywhere on the top. I was sitting here trying to think of what to write about and wiggling my mouse over them and decided to click the banner, once and for all. Guess what it turned out to be?
"PARANOIA:
Just one of the few effects of smoking marijuana. Along with short-term memory loss. Apathy. Loss of coordination. And, for some, it may increase the risk for schizophrenia."
Really? I mean, I'm no pothead, that's for sure, but I think it's interesting that these campaigns rely heavily on fear to get kids not to smoke pot. And it's a completely proven fact that kids will make their own decisions whether or not to get high and the ads simply don't work. I think that people just get all fussy when they don't think the National Center for Drug Control isn't doing anything to get kids not to do drugs, instead of educating their own damn children why drugs are bad. Baaaad drugs.

Ok, stepping off of my pedestal...

I downloaded the new Lupe Fiasco CD the other day but have been too busy to even listen to it a lot. What I did hear of it I actually liked. He is coming to the Aggie (gasp) and I might go see him. It's on a Sunday (the 22nd) though. My Sundays are for doing nothing but complaining about work. Anyways, I would go through the CD right now and give you a rundown of the tracks, but Burt is sleeping, and when I wake up Burt, it's not pretty. Doing shit like that is how I got a pair of balls drawn on my dresser mirror in eyeliner. Damn you, loud voice! Damn you to hell!

Oh! Happy Friday the 13th. It's... Ok, seriously. Doesn't this happen every year?! I should just start saying, "happy Columbus day!" and then punching people in the face. That'll make you apprehensive of Columbus day, now won't it?! Damn straight it will.

Alright, well I'm going to make myself some food before I go to work.... yuck. Here's hoping that everyone will decide to go on a "no sandwich" diet and I can keep myself from stabbing my bare finger through the sandwiches I do make. (I don't do that. I swear.) This new marketing assistant job I got is so much better. I do about half the work for one and a half times the pay. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Good Bloggie -- Now With Drunk!

Sorry, my friends. I love the Good Bloggie. I love it so much that I will post anything my dear heart writes, including that rambling and incredily shitty post I wrote the other day. Desole, mes petits. Desole.
(And that's not de-sole, like you silly Americans probably pronounce it dans vos tetes, it's de-sol-ay, comme les francais. And there should be a cedille on that "c"in "francais" and an accent aigue on that "e" in "desole". And why are you paying attention still? Who the hell cares?!?!)

My point is that I have literally been drinking since 12:30 this afternoon because of the football game against UNLV, who we apparently trounced, but I am still unaware of the final score because I was too busy complaining that my alabaster skin was getting burned and that I wanted another hot dog. Oops.
Hmm. Anyhoo, we went to the game, went to the Pickle Barrel, which was closed because they ran out of bread, (damnit) went to Cheba Hut, ate Cheba, went to Gruber's, laughed at an overturned butter container and it's subsequent lazy effects on the people areound it, (don't ask) went to Sullivan's, drank 8 dollar double Red Bull vodka's, (damnit) got a ride downtown, waited in line for 10 mins for Lucky's, drank, drank, drank, drank, drank, sang, drank, drank, yelled, drank, and came home. I'm actually fairly surprised I can type this well considering the circumstances. I'm sure I'll read this tomorrow and utter, "WTF!?"
I literally speak in AIM language. It's sad.
Wait, what was I talking about?!
OH! I remember.
Good Bloggie will, as of 3 hits from now, be at 1400 views! WOW!! WOWEE WOW WOW!!!
I just wanted to say thank you, to my loyal readers, and the random people who search on Google for dirty things that I happen to mention out of context in this blog. Thank you very much. Boobies fire Lindsay Lohan boobies squirrel vagina booty. Think that'll raise my hits?!
Hrmph. I think it's time to watch Scrubs on the DVR and drink massive quantities of water out of my Nalgene.
Bonne nuit!

Wait, What Was I Talking About?

So there seems to be a lot of buzz surrounding The Hold Steady on the internet. I didn't know a lot about these guys, other than every 30-second clip on iTunes sounds the same and that after listening to that, I decided I didn't like them. However, I decided to give them a second chance and listen to them on http://www.vagrant.com/holdsteady_listeningparty/. I'm still on the fence. I like the music, I just can't decide whether I like the singer's voice. I feel like this would be a good band to sit and drink $4.00 beers to and get sloshed and start swaying around to. If you read Pitchfork Media (a website chock full of indie goodness) at all, you would know how much they love The Hold Steady. Actually, they're a good site to check out for reviews. I actually forgot that The Decemberists came out with a new album! I really, really liked Picaresque. The Decemberists are actually a really interesting band because their lead singer was a creative writing major in college, and kind of uses their music as an outlet for his writing. That's why their songs tell actual stories, instead of being just a few verses about nothing followed by a hook and a bridge. I think that music like they play throws back to old musicians like John Prine, who sang slow, sad, odd country songs about people other than himself. Angel from Mongomery by Prine is a song so simple you can turn it into whatever you want. My dad actually taught me how to play it with chords.
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/38886/The_Decemberists_The_Crane_Wife

The Decemberists: (Super fucking awesome music video)


John Prine:



Speaking of playing "these songs with chords" (gratuitous Deathcab reference) when the hell is the new Postal Service album going to come out?! I'm pretty sure there's something in the works... Shoot.
So I know that he's totally commercialized by Pharell (and if you need to latch on to somebody, he's the man to do it to) but I just can't get Lupe Fiasco's new song out of my head!


Ok well I have to go play guitar so I hope that this rambling post was enough to keep you sated for a while.

-- Whit Dizzle

Shmehhh?

Gah. I was sitting in front of my computer yesterday with an open blogger template in front of me and I literally could not think of what to write. Damn blogger's block.

I just finished watching like, 3 hours of TV, if not more. First, Lost, which infuriated me because I love the show so much, but I have this horrifying feeling that they are going to jerk me around for the next 26 or however many episodes and not answer any questions. Who are The Others?! What do they want?! Where did they get coffee and bread?! Why are there so many damn commercials?! Augh!
I actually saw some pictures a while ago of some kids vacationing in Hawaii who stumbled upon Lost's unguarded set, and took pictures eating the Dharma Initiative's food and posing outside the tents and stuff. So cool, but I can't seem to find them anymore.
After that, I watched episodes of Project Runway that I DVR'ed. It turns out that Uli, Jeffrey, Laura and Michael are all going to fashion week. It baffled me why they took such a long hiatus but it turns out that it was for the remaining designers to create their 12 designs for fashion week and also to present them during. I'm so excited to see who wins! The winning designer's line will actually be available at Macy's, and ever since they bought out Foleys, we have one here. So that's pretty sweet. The last episode is going to be so awesome. 7 out of like, 12 of Uli's models got too drunk the night before and might not make it, and Laura accuses Jeffrey of not making all of his dresses, alleging that he used outside help to make them. I hate that I have to wait a week for this!
I was recording two things at once (Lost and Project Runway) and so I missed America's Next Top Model. Damnit. I just love seeing Tyra swing her weave around and bug her eyes out -- I literally could watch an hour of Tyra being Tyra. Actually, I suppose that would be the Tyra Banks Show, a show in which I have little to no interest. There was a clip from Tyra on The Soup and her attention grabber was, "Today, a girl is going to actually lose her virginity ON THIS SHOW." It one of those "uh guh?!" moments where you're like, "shoot. When is Oprah on? I'd rather cry about abandoned children than watch Tyra talk about sex."

Uhhhh.... uhhhh.... See?! This would be the block talking. I'm going out tomorrow (big surprise) and so maybe I'll have pictures to post. I haven't posted pictures in a while because I haven't had batteries in my camera, and all the pictures I do take are of me trying to look hot while having like 17 double chins or a straw up my nose. I got this idea of making an entire photo album in b&w on Facebook, but out of the like, 50 pictures that I took the other night, I only got about 3 god ones. Damn you, 4-for-1's! Never again. Or tomorrow, either or.
I think I'm going to stay in on Friday after working because we have our homecoming game on Saturday, and I plan to start boozing at about 1pm. Here's hoping I make it though the football witching hour from 6-9. (That's the time when your body is pissed at you and you have to either nap or party.)
Let's root for party.

This would probably be the time when I write about the latest celebrity gossip, because I seem to have an unhealthy affinity for it, but it seems like it's the same-ol-same-ol lately. I think that's because I literally drown my brain in gossip websites and E! television. I've got to get a hobby. I actually started reading A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, and it's decent so far despite his insistance on capitalizing some proper nouns and not others. "They took me to The Unit where I ate Oatmeal and went to the bathroom. I then dreamed about Coke and Glue...." etc... I dunno. Some writers' styles are really easy to grasp, and some aren't. The best is when I finish a book and I start writing or speaking like them.

This semester is flying by! I register for next semester in like, 22 days. Damn. It's so weird thinking about how I'm going to be attending my friends' graduation parties and I won't be graduating. Oh well. I don't feel like an adult anyways.

So tired... au revoir.

Lucky Number 13.... Hundred?

So, friends and enemies, (dare I say frenemies?) Good Bloggie has gotten over 1300 views! I know that every time I hit a round one-hundredish number I celebrate, but I don't know if you know this: it's kind of a big deal.

Last night we went to Sullivan's and then Wash Bar. The whole night needs no explanation other than "four-double-and-two-single cranberry vodkas later..."
Please, for the love of god --and your stomachs-- never eat DP Dough again. I vow to put that place out of business so that I never drunkenly decide it would be a good idea to eat a "Buffer Zone" with extra buffalo sauce ever again. I think my stomach would have been happier not eating for two days than drinking and then eating hot fire.
"I spit hot fire!"
Damnit.

I have to work so much this weekend. All I want to do is curl up on my couch and watch Amelie without the subtitles and drink tea. But no, I get to serve sandwiches to fellow college students while wearing probably one of the most god-awful hats ever. I can't wait to start this other job. But! The good news is that I called and subtly coerced my boss to let me have next Saturday off, and you know what that means -- homecoming game! And more importantly, going around to random guys saying, "I like your hat! Can I have a beer? Oh... are those extra hamburgers?" It looks like it's going to be just me and Mich, which has lately proven to be a lethal combination... we went drink for drink last night at Sullivans and she still somehow bypassed me, later running up and down the hallway of our house, screaming. I've realized that's the tried and true test of whether Mich is blacked out -- the running. She's like the god damned Forrest Gump of binge drinking.

My marketing teacher was talking about how we have certain patterns to the way we end things, like in telephone conversations. Mine always end like, "Ok, I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing. Ok well, have a good night. I'll talk to you later. Bye." Mich ends hers "Mmmmmbye" without thinking. Mac just gets bored and says "OkI'lltalktoyoulater -- click."
What I'm getting at is how I never know how to end these posts. Like you care that I have to go unload the dishwasher or shriek in sheer terror at a spider that no one wants to kill downstairs. I need a sign off like "You stay classy... world." That would be sweet. I've got to get on that. So for the time being...
"You stay classy, person-who-lovingly-reads-a-pink-hued-blog-everyday."
Not so much of a ring, eh?

Good Bloggie -- Now With Vigor!

Upon learning that my blog is important to at least 4-7 people on a semi-regular basis (when they're not too busy studying or drinking or petting their dog or washing ther car or washing their dog or petting their car) my zeal for blogging has been renewed! YAAAY!

Eh, it's not that I stopped liking to blog, it's just that I have become the world's most boring person. I'm scouring dollar stores for a trophy of a girl laying in a prone position on a couch to buy for myself. Alas, dollar stores only have ribbons and not trophies, so I bought "World's Best Dad." I felt it was fitting.

One of my most devoted readers, Heather, positively insisted that I include this link in my next post. Apparently, she spends a lot of time surfing Ebay for odd auctions and came across this:
http://cgi.ebay.com/REAL-WITCHES-BROOM-MUST-SEE-BUY-IT-FLY-IT-MISTEREMAN_W0QQitemZ290031806229QQihZ019QQcategoryZ1469QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Yet another example of someone with far more time than me.


So I've been watching Scrubs a lot lately. It is on (no joke) four times a day, most of which I record on my DVR and chuckle heartily to. I decided that, as much as a lot of people dislike him, I like-a-the Zach Braff. David sent me an article from TV Guide that had an interesting Arrested Development tidbit in it that would be so cool to see:
Ausiello: What's this I hear about David Cross coming on as his Arrested Development character?
Braff: That's what I'm trying to broker. I'm a huge fan of his and so is Bill, and our idea was that he would play Tobias in an episode. Obviously, we have to get that cleared by a lot of people, like [Arrested creator] Mitch [Hurwitz] and Fox, but that was my pitch. David wants to do it.
Ausiello: Is it your goal to get the entire Arrested Development cast on Scrubs?
Braff: [Laughs] Yeah, one by one. I was such a fan.
http://community.tvguide.com//thread.jspa?threadID=800005418
I try to get my grubby paws on anything AD, so I would be really excited to see that. Probably in fucking 2009. Because that's how it works.

There is absoloutely no way I can describe this clip from YouTube. Just watch, it's awesome.



While prodding at my brain and trying to come up with what else to write about, my roomate asks me, "So, do a lot of people read your blog?"
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Anyways, on to music news.

There is -- brace yourselves, this is going to be good-- a band from Scotland named :(. No joke... :(! Good god, that is probably the coolest thing ever. What happens when an audience wants an encore? "We want...colon half-parentheses! We want.... sad-faced-emoticon! Ach! "

So Rolling Stone used Fergie's new album's first week numbers as their target in an entry on their website:
"Honestly, we don't understand why it didn't chart higher, because the record is alarmingly un-shitty and the woman and her tweed shorts are everywhere. Is it the pee thing, the meth thing or the face thing?"
Lol. The face thing. I agree, hey Fergie -- who said it was okay for you to pretend to be black?! Whatever happened to Wild Orchid?! What about your white girl dreams of tapioca pudding and cardigan sweaters?! Coincidentally, Rolling Stone's blog removed the "face" part of the entry a few hours after a comment section melee ensued, and removed the entire post a day later. Hmm.
And yes, Mark, I did download "Fergalicious" and yes, Mark, I like it. Too bad they couldn't make it stretch for 54 minutes longer. Oooh. Too much?

Chalk one up for Fergie though, because the advance reviews of the new Killers album are terrible. Apparently no one really enjoys the thought of Brandon Flowers in a bolero and eyeliner. I guess Rolling Stone gave it like, 2 stars and the rest of the reviews describe it as "overreaching" and "overthought". Sad... I had really high hopes. I guess I'll have to hear it for myself on October 3rd.

Wow, I had nearly forgotten about "Yours to Keep" by Teddybears Stockholm. It was a song I was obsessed with around christmas this year and took me weeks to find a good version. Sadly, it was iTunes' download of the week a few weeks ago, although my saving grace was that it was a really, really terrible version. There isn't a good version on YouTube so download it -- "Yours to Keep" featuring Paola. You won't regret it. It's awesome.

Did anyone else hear that Clay Aiken's new album was expected to outsell J.T.'s Futuresex/Lovesounds?! The legions of Clay fans must be literally buying these things en masse in order to get those kind of numbers. But.... why?!

Two more things before I go, because this has turned into a fairly large post and I wouldn't expect your 21st century attention spans to make it this far, but I read something the other day on The Plain White Tees. I saw them open for Yellowcard in 2003 at the Aggie and they were terrible. Well my friend Matt, whose friend works for the recording studio in Chicago, told me that TPWTs actually brought in studio musicians when they recorded their latest album. That's ridiculous. If you can't play your own shitty music, don't just get someone else to do it! Goodness.

And! Have you heard ot Lily Allen? She's the british singer who is (I think) fairly popular in the U.K. She has this simple, happy, upbeat, dancey, reggae, poppy vibe that you will totally dig. Here are two videos.

Mark = Awesome

"I've recently became enamored with blogs. I used to think were a ridiculous waste of time, but then came upon a blog that completely changed my thinking. Her blog is one part celebrity gossip, healthy doses of music and movies, random hilarious things from the net, then toss in some of her personal life and you've got Good Bloggie.
I read every single word of good bloggie, and check for new posts a lot more than I'd actually like to admit. (Every time she celebrates higher numbers on the hit counter I sheepishly want to say "hey! Wow, good for you!") It's so much fun, very well written, super entertaining. Go read it, you'll like it."

I think this is the part where I don't stop grinning. Mark, you made my day. :)

One Two Punch

So I was re-reading my blog the other day as I often do, tweaking sentences and re-wording Whitneyisms, and as I was watching the movie trailer for Half Nelson, I noticed something. Did anyone else catch Broken Social Scene's Stars and Sons? It's such an amazing song, (I'm listening to it right now) but I didn't, erm, know people still listened to Broken Social Scene. They're amazing, and incredibly fitting for that particular movie trailer.

Oh! Found the coolest thing the other day. If you know what Pandora is (and I'm not going to bother explaining what it is, because if you don't know, you never will) then you will absoloutely appreciate this hack. This page I found explains how to rip tracks from Pandora to keep. I haven't tried it out yet, because I'm usually fairly successful in finding the ones I want elsewhere, but it's still something totally worth knowing.
http://www.lifehacker.com/software/pandora/technophilia-15-ways-to-get-more-out-of-pandora-201072.php

I went and saw The Last Kiss the other night with Caroline. It was.... mediocre. I really, really, really hate saying that, because I have faith in Zach Braff. But the guy who wrote it (who suprisingly penned Crash) couldn't write his way out of an all white room with no door -- there's a way, I swear. I think Crash's saving grace was the directing and actors. The Last Kiss was filled with lines like, "if you never give up, you can never fail." I mean come on -- it shouldn't be hard to write better than that.
When there was an actual shred of real human emotion -- dread, guilt, doubt, sadness, etc., it was dangled in front of you like, "look! Zach Braff is sad. Ohhhh no."
That being said, I'll still let my faith in Braff remain vested in my repeated viewings of Garden State and racous laughter over Scrubs. Don't do it to me again, Zach. Please.
That being said, The Last Kiss soundtrack is admittedly, very good. It pains me to say it, because I am a firm believer that a film's soundtrack should compliment the storyline, not completely overshadow it. However, I did actually own the Garden State soundtrack before I saw the movie... I'm not sure why. I think it was something about no one wanting to go see the movie with me. Anyways, I know it's easy to smack a Snow Patrol song in with a Coldplay ballad and finish it off with a little bit of Rufus Wainwright, but in between the songs you've heard a million times are songs that are probably more of note than their more famous trackmates. "Star Mile" by Joshua Radin sounds like a Simon and Garfunkel cover, even though it's not. As I was listening to it my roomate yelled from her room, "This sounds like something you would hear on the OC, Whitty." I think that effectively sums it up. "Pain Killer" by Turin Brakes is a more energetic and lively song than I've heard from Turin Brakes before. Another song of theirs that I'm familiar with is "Rain City," which is a beautiful slow song. It's in my "Emo Me-mo" playlist on iTunes, if that helps you get a picture. Skipping down the list a little (not without mentioning Cary Brothers "Ride," which is very, very good) we screech to a halt in the middle with Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek." Ouch. It's a pretty jarring transition to the rest of the album, being too slow and electronicized to convey any real emotion.
I was going to just skip songs and describe the ones I liked best, but every song is top-notch (with the exception of "Hide and Seek".) So, instead of detailing each song as it comes up in my iTunes, I suggest you get this soundtrack however you can.... it's really, really good.

Another CD I just got was the Scissor Sisters' new CD, Ta-Dah. If you've never heard of the Scissor Sisters, they're a New York band that blew up HUGE in the UK. They're mildly popular here, but they are literally gigantic in England. They've got an old piano-y, disco sound unlike any other new band that I've heard. The first track on the album, "I Don't Feel Like Dancing" totally contrasts its name, because it's a track that makes you want to dance around flailing your arms and hopping from one leg to the other.
Or maybe that's just me.
Anyways, Scissor Sisters = No Shame Dancing. Hell yeah.

So a new EIGHTY freaking gigabyte iPod is only $350.00. That's outrageous. I think my 20 gb iPod cost around $300. Damnit. I have to keep bumping stuff to put all of my new songs on. Actually, it's not like I missed the 400 50 Cent songs I had from high school anyways.

I haven't been able to write on Good Bloggie as much lately because of my school schedule. And by school schedule I mean the two hours of my day that I'm on campus and the 800 hours a day I spend in front of my DVR. It's a sickness, I know.
And the only cure? Mas blogging.

I went and saw Kal Penn of Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle fame tonight at the LSC theatre. It was interesting, to say the least. I thought that he would be doing some sort of standup, but instead he showed the trailer for Van Wilder II and then opened up a question and answer. I was actually surprised at the type of questions people were asking. They all seemed to be race related -- not necessarily racist, don't get me wrong, but some were questions people wouldn't ask me. Very interesting. He handled all of them very well, and I was surprised to learn that they didn't really smoke pot in H&K, they just smoked... erm, high-less pot that still produces smoke. It was some insurance issue. I dunno.

How good is Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer?"
Really good, that's how good.

A few more things before I go. There's a song everyone needs: "Brother" by Annuals. I don't think the album is out yet but there's quite a bit of buzz about them in the blogosphere... and yes. I did just say "blogosphere."
And.... I got a new job! I'm going to keep my old one, and work this one during the week for the time being. I'm going to be doing marketing research for the head of marketing for the CSU Research Foundation. It's going to be a lot of bitchwork, but it will look so, so good on my resume.

One more thing... this is just plain awesome:


I'm hearing strains of Sex and the City coming from the living room, so I'm going to go stare blankly at the tube. Big surprise.
Good nighty!

Obsessed.

Obsessed. Obsessed obsessed obsessed.

This is officially my new favorite song of the year.



I don't know why I like this song so much, but good god. October 3rd release date? Not fair.

Fairly uneventful weekend, I just wanted to get this song up ASAP so everyone could enjoy it.
Does anyone miss house parties as much as I do?
Does anyone else feel old?
Is everyone else lacking as much direction?
Hmm...

Let's Get Some Shoes!

So they say the internet is for two things: Google and porn. Well, this is neither. It's just another product of people with too much time posting things on YouTube. Lord help us if this is what society has come to.
In other words, it's fucking awesome.



You're welcome.

I'm working 'till 10 tonight and then going to Andy's house for a kegger. I haven't been to a house party in so long... I'm a wee bit excited.
A demain, mes amis.

The Chances of Half Nelson Showing In Theatres Are...

Have you heard of the movie Half Nelson? No? Then here you go:



From Pajiba:
On the one hand, you have a freebasing inner-city junior-high-school teacher, Dan Dunne (Ryan Gosling) (he’s a base-head because he can’t afford cocaine on a teacher’s salary), who spends his evenings getting high and doing the tango with street walkers. On the other hand, he’s a fucking helluva educator and exactly the kind of guy you want teaching your kids. He eschews government-defined lesson plans, opting instead to teach a Hegelian dialectical view of historical change to a group of ninth graders who — under the tutelage of anyone else — would have absolutely no interest in the subject.
But they’re fascinated with their teacher, and the audience is equally transfixed with Gosling, who turns in one of those rare performances that makes you feel giddy just watching him onscreen — honest to God, it’s a head-shaking, awe-inducing accomplishment, the rare drug-addled, self-destructive character that you find yourself completely invested in (like Lohan, only likable). I suspect that anyone who has only seen Gosling in The Notebook might be as skeptical as I was walking in, expecting a smirky, self-referential Breckin Meyer-type performance. You have to see it to believe it, but somehow Gosling manages to be both subtle and dominating, commanding a Pacino-like screen presence with the flash of a simple smile of vulnerability.
But what’s almost equally amazing is the performance of Shareeka Epps, who plays Drey, one of Mr. Dunne’s students. She walks into a locker room after a girls’ basketball game and finds Dunne, who is also her coach, huddled in a bathroom stall hitting the crack pipe. She has every reason to turn on him, but — as the latchkey daughter of a single mom who works double shifts as an EMT and the little sister of a man who is in prison for drug-related crimes — she seems to find something fascinatingly real about a superstar teacher with a drug addiction. In a very unassuming way, she makes Dunne her salvation project, while at the same time quietly using him to help escape her lot. The IMDb has absolutely no autobiographical information about Epps, but the old soul within her outdates the likes of Dakota Fanning by a few decades, I’d imagine. She’s mostly dour and seemingly detached in the film, but every few scenes or so, she’ll reveal a bit of 12-year-old humanity in a smile that will expose her crooked teeth, which almost feels like a goddamn heartbreaking metaphor.

Like the title of this post suggests, the chances of this film coming to Fort Collins is close to nil. However, I thought that about Little Miss Sunshine, and it seemed to do well enough to have a wider release, so I guess I'll just have to be patient. I guess I'll have to settle for seeing The Last Kiss with every god damned 18-28 year-old in Fort Collins. Who am I kidding? I'm stoked for that one and have been for a while. (http://good-bloggie.blogspot.com/2006/06/do-you-have-scoop.html)

Listening to: Faster Kill Pussycat -- Paul Oakenfold feat. Brittany Murphy

Oh! I almost forgot! With three more clicks, Good Bloggie will have had 1200 views. That's big.

Ba Ba Baaa!

Nothing especially important to write about today, I just wanted to remind everyone that...

She's such a beautiful shade of burnt toast.

I Actually Write the Word "Vagina" in This Post.

'ello kiddies. Sorry about the lack of posts lately. All I seem to get scheduled for lately at work are weekends, so I'm usually doing that or being too lazy to write.

So I've been trying to get some new music into my system lately. I'm pretty sick of most of the stuff I've been listening to, and even my super sweet techno CD that Caroline burned me is starting to get old. However, today, I admittedly got my grubby little paws on the new Justin Timberlake CD. Don't hate me... It's not terrible. Everyone needs a little falsetto-dance-music in their life. It's going to take a little getting used to... I keep playing SexyBack over and over without listening to the other songs. I also downloaded the Junior Boys' CD, So This Is Goodbye this morning. If you listen to KCSU at all, you'll know that there is a ton of buzz surrounding him. It's very simple electronica with easy beats and a singer who sounds a little bit like Depeche Mode's David Gahan. It's all very catchy and calm without being over electronicicized. Yeah, that's a word now. Wikipedia it. I dare you.



Now this is marketing. Apparently, there has been a YouTube fueled frenzy over a poster called LonelyGirl15. She made daily video blogs and posted them on the internet. I'm not sure how people came to find out about her, but she apparently gained hundreds of thousands of fans. She would talk about her parents, her strange religion, her crush -- normal teenage stuff. Then, word got out that she, in fact, may be a ficticious character, someone who was used on the internet as a tie-in to a horror movie. Judge for yourself.


Here's the article discussing the prospect that she may not be real:
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-lonelygirl8sep08,0,5310001.story?coll=la-home-entertainment
Whatever it is, if it's not just a simple videoblog, then it's pretty damn cool. I can't believe how many people latched on to her story and got angry when they were presented with the idea that she was fake. Oh, internet.

I remember when I positively obsessed with Blink 182. I would literally listen to Dude Ranch on repeat when I was 15, and Ashton and I would quote their live album for hours on end. What happened? It's sad when the musicians you admire get old and start having baby momma drama and mortgage payments and forget all about you and your Converse All-Stars and teenage angst. But does anyone like Tom Delonge's new band Angels & Airwaves? Tom was always my favorite in the group, but now it's like he can't come up with a new sound. I always criticize musicians who can't find their own style outside of that of their producer's (ahem... Paris Hilton) but I think it's damn time for a change. Mark Hoppus and Travis Barker have their own band minus Tom Delonge called Plus-44. I'm kind of interested in hearing their stuff and kind of not. That ship has sailed like 5 years ago for me. Sad.

My friend David sent me, among other things, this movie poster for Snakes on a Plane... in French. Could I ask for more?!

Look at how evil Samuel L. Jackson looks! I love the dead guy in the aisle -- the poster designers must have been like, "Oui, Muzzer fooker! You vill DIE! Beecuzz of zee snakes! Ehhhhhh heheheeh..." as they smoked their cigarettes and scratched their heads under their berets. Oh, you know I love the French. Well, the French language at least.

Here's a website for a guy who took tiny little figurines around with him in Europe and took pictures of them in random European locations. It's cute.

http://little-people.blogspot.com/

So Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner are dating. Damnit. I thought that when he accepted my friend request on MySpace that it meant we were going to get married. You promised, Brody! PROMISED!!!

Darn.

So is anyone else sick of seeing Lindsay Lohan's vagina? I'm not posting pictures, because seriously, who do you think I am, and also, vaginas are gross, especially those of Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan. But honestly, Linds, if you thought we actually wanted to see your goodies, you were sorely mistaken. What was this, like, the third time you either wore something completely see-through without a bra and/or flashed the world your undercarriage? Yeah. I'm sure Victoria's Secret would have a sale on anything if you would agree to make a visit. I'll even pay.

I feel like I've sunk to a new low. Blogging on that subject makes me feel a little crazy. I need a pick me up.
Oh! Go Fug Yourself. Being bitchy so I don't have to.
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/
Seriously. Way awesome.

One more thing before I go study for Marketing. I know that she's a burlesque dancer, and gets naked and flops around in a giant glass of champagne while wearing pasties on her boobies, and is married to Marilyn freakin Manson, but damn. Dita Von Tess gives hope for pale girls (like me) everywhere.



And I'd kill for those shoes.

Nighty!

Thursday Morning...

Dear America,
Why must you taunt me so? For years, I've kept my silence, but no more!
Nickelback is not, I repeat, NOT a good band. Give it up already.
For the love of god.
Respectfully yours,
Whit Dizzle

Yuck. I just had to get that out of my system. But seriously, who on earth still buys their CDs?

Oh Paris... dear, sweet, drunkenly-weaving-all-over-the-road Paris. When will you learn? CD release + DUI does not a good publicity stunt make.
Police pulled the hotel heiress over and tested her for intoxication after seeing her drive erratically, Los Angeles police officer Robert Andreno told Reuters.

So, dear readers, I must admit that I've been feeling less than blog-tastic lately. I was informed Tuesday by a certain someone who will remain unnamed that he is "so sick of reading about celebrities that he can't even read my blog anymore." What does that leave me with?!

Why, god, why?! Why must you forsake me!? Why must you threaten the life of my blog?!
Wait, what?
Oh.... It's glorious....

Incredible! Now I have something to write about for the next 18 years.

Oh, and erm, sorry I drew alien antennae on Suri Holmes-Cruise in Paint.

I'd Almost Forgot, When....

I had almost forgot about this hilarious clip. It's been in my favorites in internet explorer for ever.

Enjoy.

R.I.P.

My friend Heather just got a text (after coming home from Pott's) that Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter died today. We didn't believe it, but it was true. He got stung in the heart by a stingray. What a shitty, weird, but fitting way to go out. We're actually sad.

Rest in peace, Steve. We're toasting you as I write this.

CRUNCH!

So my car got rearended yesterday after the football game. Sweet. It actually wasn't that bad, I was the first in the line of four cars that got hit, so I basically got a big scrape and the screws from the guy's license plate embedded in the bumper of my car. It's still somewhat ironic -- I just got my bumper fixed a few months ago from when another kid hit my car, and I just put the "Not All Who Wander Are Lost" hippie-ass bumper sticker I love so much back on. The guy who hit the girl two cars behind me was so wasted that they arrested him. I guess he was driving his friends car. That, I think, is conclusive proof that friends shouldn't let friends drive drunk. Idiots.


I'm sure by now you've heard of who Jessica Simpson is currently dating. (Funny thing is that last night, my friend Heather was sitting at the kitchen table, reading that US Weekly that comes every week, and exclaimed, "She's dating him?!" I ran out of my room and was like, "shit! You would have known about that two days ago if I had actually written my blog!") Yep, she's dating none other than John Mayer. You might think, "well, that's alright, he's a talented musician, isn't he?" Well no. He's turned into a towering, long haired, sellout ogre of a man. I remember how I was positively obsessed with him in high school. I saw him at the Fillmore, with not more than 300 people in attendance... and then at City Lights Pavillion with about 1000.... and then at Fiddler's Green with 23849742598374 people (or however many people they pack into that shitty ampitheatre.) I think the instant when I gave up on being a John Mayer fan was when a drunk 30-year-old man spilled an Coors Light on my favorite Alkaline Trio sweatshirt at the third concert. Is it possible to like, negative-give-up on someone? Because I think this whole Jessica Simpson thing just pushed me over the edge into doing just that.

Sometimes I'll sit around and just read through my blog. I'm actually impressed with the fact that I've kept it up this frequently and for this long. For those of you who know me, you know that I'll get really obsessed with something, exhaust whatever it is, wear it out, and then discard it. I think I've done this thing for so long because I simply love talking about myself. At least I know it, right? Doesn't that make it better? No? Damn.

I had another zombie dream the other night. I keep having them and they're positively horrifying. Yet I can't stop renting zombie movies. I try to face my fear, but instead make myself more fearful in the end.

So I think if you go into Best Buy or Target, you can actually hear Paris Hilton's debut album clacking around on the floor, gasping for breath. The thing only sold 75,00 copies, compared to about 350,000 by Christina Aguilera in her first week of sales. Who didn't see this coming?! I actually heard it wasn't half bad, but that's not enough to make me go to Target and scoop the poor thing up and buy it. On the other hand, the new Nelly Furtado album is pretty solid. (The first song, "Alive" is yet another of those things that I beat to death. I think it's play count in my iTunes is up to about 15, and I only downloaded it a few days ago.)

Did anyone watch the VMA's? I watched part of them, because I don't really find it important to devote 3 hours of my life to MTV anymore unless it's a Next marathon. If it is, I'm so there. Anyhoo, Ok Go performed their whole treadmill dance routine live. Yeah, MTV. I said it --You're so one month ago. My post on that whole thing was on August 2nd. Yet another reason to read Good Bloggie -- the trendspotting . That is, if you can get past the relentless bragging.

IDon'tLikeYouInThatWay posted a really interesting article that I put below. It could be all bullshit, but I dunno. Sounds interesting anyways.
For years there have been blind items about a famous executive-star, "Pert Member." A guy who often lends his private jet to closeted gay actors so they can have sex with their boyfriends without fear of getting caught. He also has a beautiful Hollywood actress for a wife who doesn't mind that her husband's boyfriend lives with them.
Just so we're clear, this dude is gay. If this were a cartoon character, he'd be covered in pink flames.
Why am I telling you this about a post on John Travolta? Oh, no reason. By the way, the jet in the picture belongs to him.

http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20060831/travolta%20gay/travolta.html
Yeah. Weird.

I'm probably the only one out there, but I'm really, really digging Jared Leto's 30 Seconds to Mars look. There's just something about a guy in skinny jeans. I wore mine to Wash Bar the other night and felt simultaneously awkward and really, really fucking cool. I'm sure Jared feels the same way. Or not. Blogger's uploader isn't working (suprise, suprise) and so here's the link to the picture I'm talking about.
http://idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20060901/vma%202006%20leto/jlvma4.html

Anddddd the final item I'm going to write about is a band called Dirty Pretty Things out of London. I'm pretty sure they're going to be the new Arctic Monkeys. Their single, "Bang Bang, You're Dead" is blowing up the charts in England. They're just so English and awesome. I'm sure they're the kind of band that when you go to see them live, they smoke and drink on stage and yell at the audience. God I love that.



My roomates and I just made up the coolest game. We had a bunch of random drinks in our fridge (yes, I am drinking on a Sunday) and we had to put everything into a hat and just deal with what we pulled. I got a Singhai, a blueberry vodka shot, and a shot of Soco. Mich pulled a Hamm's, (gross) a Coors, and a Mike's Hard Lemonade. Dbo got a Tsingtao, a Hamm's, and a Strawberry shot. Heather got a Red Stripe, a Busch Light, and a regular vodka shot. Hell yeah.

Mashup-tacular!

Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man.

I got sent the link to download Wu Orleans today. What, exactly, is Wu Orleans? Oh, you know, just the coolest mashup I've heard in a really long time, probably since The Grey Album. (If you don't know what The Grey Album is, it was a mashup done by DJ Dangermouse -- of Gnarls Barkley fame -- where he mixed the Beatle's White Album with Jay-Z's Black Album. It's really, really good, I suggest you check it out.) Anyhoo, Wu Orleans is various Wu-Tang songs mixed with Dixieland music in order to create some of the most unusual tunes I've heard in a while.

You can download the whole album here: http://djbc.net/mashes/wu/ or you can download a song to listen to here: http://djbc.net/mashes/wu/WhentheMethComesMarchingIn.mp3 which will allow you to download it from that site.
Thanks David!

Another song worth mentioning is Nelly Furtado's "Afraid". I know, I know, Nelly doesn't really reveal my hardcore side, but it really is a cool song. The only version I could find of it online (because it isn't her single) was some video some kids made. The other choice on YouTube was this guy dancing around in Eurotrash sunglasses. I figured this was the better of the two.

I love how Justin Timberlake is trying to shed his boyband image. That's okay with me, as I, admittedly, (being a red-blooded American female and all) am a Timberlake fan. However, there was something that struck me as familiar about one of his promo photos. Hmm...

It looks errily familiar to Mos Def's cover art for his CD, The New Danger, that came out last year. Tres Interresante, non?

Ok, well I've got guitar soon... I'm super out of practice. We'll see how that goes.

Ugly Bloggie.

Dear Whit,

As a faithful reader of Good Bloggie, I am deeply saddened with your failure to comemmorate one of the most beloved animals in all of human history. It seems as if Sam --better known as the worlds ugliest dog-- has passed away. He was laid to rest on November 22, 2005 in his San Fransisco home.

I understand that Lindsay Lohan is a very popular topic on your blog, but I think the world is interested in ugly things too. I think it might be time to start lookin out for the little guys.

Sincerely,

Heather
Your most faithful reader


There you have it. Ask and you shall receive.

I've been toying around with the idea of guest writers lately...

Anyone up for the challenge?

Ghost Ride the Whip?

My friend David has the capacity to find the most random interesting things on the internet. He sent me quite a few videos from YouTube specifically to post on my blog.

The first video is of a phenomenon where dudes "ghost ride the whip." What is this exactly? It's where they get their car going really slow, crank up E-40's "Tell Me When to Go" on the stereo, and get out of their car and dance alongside of it. Another variation is where they get their car going, get out, and accidentally crash it into things. I'm not sure you can really "ghost ride" if you crash your car. Then it's more like "ghost insurance-hike."

From Boingboing.net -- how to properly ghost ride the whip:
(1) get in your car and drive
(2) *while* your car is moving forward
(3) step out of the driver's seat and dance around in the road
(4) optional: jump on top of your car, which remains in motion, and vamp on the roof.
(5) refrain from dying
(6) post video on the internet, boyyyeeeeee.

I couldn't find the one I wanted, so here's another one:




This would be ghost riding gone wrong:


So there you have it; another thing for 14-year-olds to write about on each other's MySpace walls.

Another brilliant thing David sent me was something from a series of pseudo-educational BBC videos. They're shot by ancient 70's-80's cameras and narrated by a man with a British accent. They seem to be educational videos at first, but then they just hit you with something so funny and ridiculous, like this quote from "Module 2 -- Water":
"But what is water? It's a difficult question because water is impossible to describe. One might ask the same about birds. What are birds? We just don't know."



And this one on the brain.



Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

So this weekend was a weird one. On Thursday, we went to the Rio and Wash Bar, and met a dude that was in the most recent season of the Real World. Yeah, we were those girls. On Friday, I was dead, and we stayed at our house and played beer pong... where I got just as drunk as if I would have gone out. Damnit. At the end of the night, I was drinking Hamm's beer (I guess it's comparable to Schlitz... $6.49 for a 12 pack. Classy, Andy.) and taking shots of SoCo lime that I didn't need. On Saturday, I was even more dead and decided to take it easy. Apparently, that means drinking a mixed drink that consists of 55% vodka, 40% 7-Up and 5% ice cubes, going to the Pickle Barrel to drink cheap drinks and then coming home at 12:30. I'm turning into such a loser. Tonight, we saw Beerfest, which was.... exactly what it looked like. Boobies and beer. It was still enjoyable nonetheless. It made me really want to have a little beerfest of my own. I'm off to sleep and then get up early to do my French homework. Damn.

Not To Toot My Own Horn, But...

I love how you can insert little disclaimers into your speech patterns so that when you say something really inflammatory or conceited, people have less license to get mad at you. Like in Talladega Nights, Ricky Bobby's manager says, "you can't just start off a sentence with 'with all due respect' and still insult me!" to which Ricky replies, "yes I can -- I said 'with all due respect' -- I can say whatever I want."

Well, not to toot my own horn, but....

I do a lot of horn tootin' in this blog, and by no means are you supposed to take me seriously. Anyways, I was reading this article, and it made me scoff and look around my room like someone else was sitting on my bed or something, ready to agree with whatever I said. Unfortunately, not making any money with this blog has left me with no funds with which to pay someone simply to agree with me. Someday... someday.


A GOTHIC ROMANCE WITH BLACK NAILS
By RAAKHEE MIRCHANDANI

August 24, 2006 -- PAINT the town black this fall. This season's hottest Goth-chic beauty trend - seen on Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham and Lindsay Lohan - is short, dark nails.
"I think dark colors, especially dark nail polishes, are popular again because we are all angst-ridden teenagers at heart," says NARS senior stylist James Boehmer. "And it's easy to channel your inner Goth by slapping on a dark coat of nail polish."
Cosmetics companies are indulging in their dark sides too- Chanel recently launched "Black Satin," their first inky black shade, and nail-giant Essie has four new dark shades in dark wine and brown coming out for fall.
"When you see black nails on a woman, it says she's comfortable showing off a bit of her wild side," says celebrity makeup artist Rachel Goodwin, who works on Avril Lavigne and Hilary Duff. "I think wearing a black polish adds a fun, subversive rock-chic vibe without being harsh or unfeminine."

I've had my toenails black for like, three months now, and I just got done chipping all of the sparkly black topcoat off of my fingernails today in Accounting. No offense, but I'm so ahead of my time. The world ain't ready. Maybe K-Fed and I should collaborate. I'll spit lyrics and he can play the bongo and the french horn.

1000?!

Good lord. After I posted last night I looked at the hit counter and noticed it was on 999 views. Right now, it's on 1013. Over one thousand views!!! Holy shit. That's fantastic.

I think Brooke Hogan puts it best:

And that, my friends, is what Good Bloggie is all about.

Good Reader. Bad Blogger.

Good lord, sorry I haven't written in a while. My 4 devoted readers must be pissed.

In lieu of the New York Post I promised, I'm going to just do a regular one. I put off posting for so long because the prospect of sorting through literally 500+ pictures was slightly daunting, so I'll get to that later.

The other night was my birthday celebration... yes, the 4th one in 4 days. So what? I think being the last one of my friends to turn 21 means I can do that. It was a pretty rockin' good time. The whole night was a bit of a shitshow, but super fun nonetheless.

I started classes yesterday. I can't believe I'm back in school! After taking 9 credits this summer just to freaking catch up to all of the JUNIORS at Csu, I've realized how desperately behind I am. Not desperate enough to take more classes, just desperate enough to feel sorry for myself. My french class turned out to be a combination 400-500 level class, so that's incredibly daunting. I'm sure it'll be ok though.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to see Snakes on a Plane. I know, I know, after the way I've been hyping it, it's incredible that I haven't seen it. I was simply too drunk to even think about seeing a movie this weekend. Actually, Sunday, my body just kind of shut down and was like, "Nah uh, Whit. No beer pong at Potts. No way." I'm still kind of recovering from our week long drinking binge on the east coast. F yeah. In other "movies I want to see" news, Little Miss Sunshine has finally been released in theatres here and I must go see it.

So Mel Gibson got probation instead of jailtime for his arrest. Yes, the man who publicly stated his intense hatred of Jews -- instead of getting time for doing something illegal-- gets to read books to children and pee in a cup every Wednesday. By the way, wasn't Jesus a Jew? Isn't that a wee bit hypocrytical?!

In lighter news, K-Fed performed his first single, Lose Control, on the Teen Choice Awards the other night after being introduced by Britney Spears. I'd post a video of it from YouTube, but I'm sure none of you would be bothered to watch it anyways, so here's a quick rundown: 14-year-olds who have been standing on their feet for five hours have bewildered and pained expressions on their faces as Britney Spears introduces K-Fed. Thoughts of "what happened to her?!" mixed in with "holy crap, look at those jugs!" run through their minds as a piano beat plays over the speakers. K-Fed has hired a man even more annoying than himself to yell at random intervals during the song to punctuate that Federline is both "hard" and a "badass". The attempt fails as Keanu Reeves starts yelling "FREEBIRD" while scratching his head. Just kidding. Anyways, the summation is that it was actually a very earnest and serious attempt that didn't get pulled off. I think he really tried on this one. Sad... at least he didn't perform Popo-Zao. Or would that have been better?!

Let's talk, Brooke Hogan. Let's fucking talk.
http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20060821/brooke%20hogan%20teen%20choice/bhtc1.html
I swear to god, the next white girl I see wearing a grill, I will personally threaten to slap... in my head. I'm really not all that violent.
Blogger's stupid photo uploader isn't working, because all I seem to write about are things like K-Fed and Brooke Hogan, but damn Blogger. Gimme a break.

This is the video for a song that I'm absoloutely obsessed with. It really is worth a listen. It's a really calm, upbeat techno song by Deepest Blue.



Ok, well it's a wee bit late, and I have to get up early to read for my French class (surprise, surprise, the cycle of procrastination starts again) so I'm going to hit the hay. Nighty!

I'm Back, Bitches.

I made it!

My plane didn't crash or get bombed, I didn't kill myself from drinking on my birthday, and I didn't fall down a subway grate or do something equally stupid while in New York City. I had the most amazing time. I'm going to do a huge post (and by huge, I mean try to condense the 400 or so pictures that Caroline and I took into just a few) later, but I don't have all of the pictures yet.

...But for now, I'm going to go spend some quality family time with my dad and step-people, which hopefully means getting drunk and making adults feel weird.

Hoorah!

Start spreadin' the news....
I'm leavin' today....
I wanna be a part of it,
New York, New York!!!

YECKSHIMESH!

Here's the theatrical trailer for Borat: The Movie. I saw it before Talladega Nights and almost peed my pants from excitement. I didn't do it, however, because we ended up sitting next to our lawn guy, and that would have made the already weird, weirder.

"Vedy nice, how much?!"



Sorry I haven't updated much lately. I've been working quite a bit and getting ready for NYC. Who's excited?! I'm excited! I leave Thursday morning.

I might be able to update midway through, but I'm not sure. When I get back I'll be sure to put up lots and lots of pics! Yay!

Grumble. I have to do my laundry and pack by tomorrow.... I'm leaving for the airport at like, 5am and am going to attempt to fly standby. That should be very, very interesting. When I come back, I'll be 21!!!
(High pitched girly shrieking)

Ok, sorry, I'll stop bragging. Have a wonderful Tuesday, buggers.

You Should Start DVRing Good Bloggie.

So, after being in my drunken, reckless stupor last night, I nestled into the love sac to watch some of the shows I DVR on Friday nights -- Best Week Ever and The Soup, both pop-culture gossip shows. As I laid there, drinking from my water bottle and munching on cheese-its, I realized something; it was all old news. Almost everything I was watching was something I had heard about earlier in the week, and more importantly, written about. That, to me, was both awesome, and sad at the same time. Awesome, because Iguess that means I'm in the know about things other people have to wait a week to hear about, and sad, because I realized that I spend a pretty large chunk of time reading about other people's lives.

Going to go to work, have a good Saturday!

A Sure Sign of the Apocalypse

I never thought I'd say it, but here goes: Kevin Federline is a brave, brave man. Everyone talks about how he just uses Britney Spears for her money and how he is only using her to further his career, but damn -- I can't say I blame him. "Why," you ask?! Just watch this video and you'll understand. I've had more coherent musings in my sleep.



There are things in life that just make you want to run around and yell, "HELP ME JESUS! HELP ME TOM CRUISE!" This just happens to be one of them. I'm sure when Britney found out she was pregnant, she exclaimed, "What's happenin', y'all?! Did I eat one-a them seeds and I'm gonna grow a watermelon in my belly again? Kevin! Kevin! Look, baby, I done sat on a bag of Cheetos. I'm so silly! Oh, shit, Sean Preston's fallen into the pool again. Someone go get him; I gotta fix my ponytail."

Lord help us.

So I finally got pictures from the other night, part deux of Burt's birthday.

We all got pretty drunk, like, come-home-at-12:30-drunk. Yeah. I think the pics do an adequate job of explaining that.

K, well... yeah. I'm going to go do nothing before I go to work. Money money money moneyyyy... MONEY!

Ok, GO!

Wow. Wowee wow wow.

In my minutes upon minutes... erm, hours upon hours... erm, forget it.

In the very limited time that I spend on the internet each day --I'm talking 30 seconds a day max-- I find a very small amount of things that I'm sure you and most of society would deem "important" or "noteworthy". This happens to be one of them. I heard President Bush watches it each day to gain insight into al-Quaeda or something like that, I wasn't paying attention. Could have been "Al Cake-a". So here you go, America: White guys performing a dance routine on treadmills. You heard me. Treadmills. It's so awesome that Mich and I were shrieking with delight. I hope that you, too, shriek. And not just because of that huge bug on your shirt. Oh, sorry, that must have been me screaming. You know, about the huge bugs everywhere. This crack is fantastic.



ANNND! If you can't get enough, here's a much older video by the same band, which actually helped them gain notoriety in the internet community.

Paranoiattack

Here's a video of The Faint performing "Paranoiattack" on Jimmy Kimmel live for no reason other than the fact that it's awesome.



Last night was one of the biggest shitshows I've had in a while. Let's just say that it involved me dancing in my front yard at 1 a.m. to Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". That should be enough information for you to go off of.

Weeeeeeeeeeeak!

Because the post below this one turned out to be kind of weak, I'm going to just stick some recent celebrity news in here and hope it will keep everyone satisfied for a while.

According to Starpulse News Blog, Lindsay Lohan has been reportedly been dropped by the British record label, Island Records, in response to her lackluster promotion for her album, Speak.
A no-show to a London promotional campaign, Lohan's seeming disinterest in promoting the single infuriated the record label execs and has resulted in a shelving of the album completely. The Sun's inside source at the label reports:
"A single was a huge flop over here because Lindsay couldn't be bothered to promote it. In the end they didn't even bother releasing the album in Britain. She didn't bother to come over to the UK to do interviews or make TV appearances to help sell the album. Island have now decided not to do another one with her."

Three words: One. Hot. Mess.
Source: A Socialite's Life

In the upcoming sequel to "Batman Begins," Oscar nominated Heath Ledger, 27, will get his shot at the villain Jack Nicholson reinvented in 1989 when he takes over the role of the Joker. According to Variety, the "Brokeback Mountain" lead has signed on to be the bad guy in "The Dark Knight," which is expected to go into production early next year.Christian Bale will be back as Batman/ Bruce Wayne, joined by "Batman Begins" director Christopher Nolan, whose brother Jonathan, will write the script. Jonathan Nolan previously penned the screenplay for 2006's "The Prestige," directed by his brother and starring Bale, and wrote the short story that inspired Christopher Nolan's 2000 breakthrough "Memento."

How awesome was the most recent Batman movie? I really, really liked it. I'm super stoked for this new, darker take on Batman.
Source: MTV News

"If you've ever wondered how handsome you would look in your mugshot the day you got pulled over doing 90, then got arrested for a DUI, then tried to escape, then said you "owned Malibu," then said "the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," then tried to break a jail phone, then called a female officer "sugar tits," then tried to piss on your cell floor, it would be impossible for you to look as suave as Mel Gibson does here." -- IDLYITW.com
http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2006/08/mel-gibson-has-mugshot.html

I'm not going to write anything about the whole Mel Gibson debacle because it's just too easy -- it would be so simple to make fun of at least, if not all, aspects of the whole thing so I'm just going to leave it at that.

I also decided I don't want to write anything about Pam Anderson's like, 5 marriages in like, 5 days to Kid Rock, because frankly, I don't care. And Kid Rock's real name is really Bob. Bob Rock. No, I'm kidding, it's not Bob Rock, that would be too cool. Theirs is a marriage made in heaven --scratch that-- a trailer park.

Happy Burtday.

Last night we went to Elliot's martini bar downtown for Burt's birthday. It was actually pretty fun... It's a cute little place with a very small "creep ratio." I couldn't drink too much because I have to work this morning at 10:30. Anyways, here are a couple pics from last night.

Hahaha. I didn't realize it at the time, but apparently I had the foresight to order a martini that was the same color as my shirt. Drinks as accessories? I think so!

Ticking Clocks

So I went to bed last night and right before I did, I looked at the temperature gauge on my window fan -- 90 degrees. I kept waking up and flopping around and whining, which did me no good, seeing as there wasn't anyone around to hear me. In short, it's hot as H in my house and that really does suck.

I was on my roomate Caroline's beautiful new Mac computer last night and realized how slow my computer has gotten. It's sad, too, because my computer has so much dorky crap on it that it's evidently become too geeky to function.

The other night I didn't put pictures up because frankly, I was too lazy. We went to Old Chicago's on College to celebrate Nicole's birthday a little over a month after her actual birthday. We tried to get her a blowjob shot but the, erm, shotglass was too big for her mouth and she couldn't do it. She settled for licking the whipped cream off the top, yelling a lot, listening to our uproarious laughter, and then finally just taking it like a regular shot. We then stood around for a good while, Dbo exposed most of my boobs to the front of the restaurant, and after that we headed to Tailgates. Then we drank. Then we took a picture that is only possible when 5 out of 7 girls you are with work at Hooters. I also realized that throwing up a little bit in your mouth is possible. Just kidding. But not.

Well enough of that. I went to see the movie Scoop yesterday with my dad. It was awesome because we sat down in the air-conditioned glory of the theatre and my dad looked at me and said, "Hey Whit, I wonder what the demographic is for this movie?" I looked around and realized that I was one of the youngest people in there. I unknowingly went to a (shudder) old person movie. The horror! No, it was actually very cute, and although some of you may disagree with me, Woody Allen actually lent to the story's success. Scroll down a little to one of my older posts if you want to see the trailer, it's there somewhere. I wrote in a previous post about how I thought Scarlett Johanssen was a bit monotone and one-dimensional as an actress, but I realized that she's actually palatable in a role other than that of "crazy-mistress-lady" (from the movie Match Point.)

It's funny -- I read so many trashy celebrity-gossip websites every day and read a lot of the same stories on each one that I just assume everybody knows about Mel Gibson's anti-semitic rant during his DUI arrest and Paris Hilton's rekindling of her romance with Stavros Niarchos this weekend, or the letter written to Lindsay Lohan by a movie exec commanding her to stop partying. I try to write about the noteworthy stuff but sometimes there is just too much to write about and I assume that everyone knows about it anyways, when in reality they seem to be too busy having "lives" and doing things that are "productive" and "benefit society."

Here's a trailer for a movie that probably won't come out in Fort Collins because people are too busy seeing You, Me, and Dupree and Superman to pay attention to other movies like this one, Little Miss Sunshine. Steve Carrell is on such a roll with his movie choices. And who doesn't like a movie with emo kids? Anyone? Anyone? I didn't think so.

Tonight we are going out for (Kim) Burt's 21st birthday -- part un. I guess at midnight we're going to go to Elliot's Martini Bar and drink things of alcoholic nature there... I can't believe I'm going to be the last one to be 21... Oh well. I'll take pictures.