Ticking Clocks

So I went to bed last night and right before I did, I looked at the temperature gauge on my window fan -- 90 degrees. I kept waking up and flopping around and whining, which did me no good, seeing as there wasn't anyone around to hear me. In short, it's hot as H in my house and that really does suck.

I was on my roomate Caroline's beautiful new Mac computer last night and realized how slow my computer has gotten. It's sad, too, because my computer has so much dorky crap on it that it's evidently become too geeky to function.

The other night I didn't put pictures up because frankly, I was too lazy. We went to Old Chicago's on College to celebrate Nicole's birthday a little over a month after her actual birthday. We tried to get her a blowjob shot but the, erm, shotglass was too big for her mouth and she couldn't do it. She settled for licking the whipped cream off the top, yelling a lot, listening to our uproarious laughter, and then finally just taking it like a regular shot. We then stood around for a good while, Dbo exposed most of my boobs to the front of the restaurant, and after that we headed to Tailgates. Then we drank. Then we took a picture that is only possible when 5 out of 7 girls you are with work at Hooters. I also realized that throwing up a little bit in your mouth is possible. Just kidding. But not.

Well enough of that. I went to see the movie Scoop yesterday with my dad. It was awesome because we sat down in the air-conditioned glory of the theatre and my dad looked at me and said, "Hey Whit, I wonder what the demographic is for this movie?" I looked around and realized that I was one of the youngest people in there. I unknowingly went to a (shudder) old person movie. The horror! No, it was actually very cute, and although some of you may disagree with me, Woody Allen actually lent to the story's success. Scroll down a little to one of my older posts if you want to see the trailer, it's there somewhere. I wrote in a previous post about how I thought Scarlett Johanssen was a bit monotone and one-dimensional as an actress, but I realized that she's actually palatable in a role other than that of "crazy-mistress-lady" (from the movie Match Point.)

It's funny -- I read so many trashy celebrity-gossip websites every day and read a lot of the same stories on each one that I just assume everybody knows about Mel Gibson's anti-semitic rant during his DUI arrest and Paris Hilton's rekindling of her romance with Stavros Niarchos this weekend, or the letter written to Lindsay Lohan by a movie exec commanding her to stop partying. I try to write about the noteworthy stuff but sometimes there is just too much to write about and I assume that everyone knows about it anyways, when in reality they seem to be too busy having "lives" and doing things that are "productive" and "benefit society."

Here's a trailer for a movie that probably won't come out in Fort Collins because people are too busy seeing You, Me, and Dupree and Superman to pay attention to other movies like this one, Little Miss Sunshine. Steve Carrell is on such a roll with his movie choices. And who doesn't like a movie with emo kids? Anyone? Anyone? I didn't think so.

Tonight we are going out for (Kim) Burt's 21st birthday -- part un. I guess at midnight we're going to go to Elliot's Martini Bar and drink things of alcoholic nature there... I can't believe I'm going to be the last one to be 21... Oh well. I'll take pictures.

Holy Crap!

I've gotten about 100 views just this week.

That's amazing.

I need to get my shit together and write something...

New post by Monday night.

I'm Such A Dork

I've been working quite a bit these past few days, and haven't had time to update. I wanted to leave you with this in all it's glory.

This would be my desktop background. Awesome.

Post #100!

This post, my friends, is the one-hundreth post in the history of Good Bloggie. That's pretty exciting.

So instead of just writing which songs I'm listening to lately, I figured out a way to put them into .wmv format and then host them on YouTube (the source of all life). It takes a million years to save but I figured if I could throw songs up every once in a while, people might listen to them and gain an appreciation for whatever I'm digging at the moment. There are just so many songs I want to put on here but I had to choose only a couple... So here you go:




EEEEEE! I almost forgot. You know when you hear things on KCSU and you know you know who it is but you can't place it? Well yesterday I found out a song that I absoloutely loved was by a band I've liked for a long time, Broken Social Scene. I guess I'm not that great of a fan then, right? Anyways, this is worthy of posting a .... erm.... music... video of. So here you go:



Even though my three-year-old's attention span is resisting it, I promised my friend Mark that I'd make a playlist. I was going to break it down into my favorite songs of all time, but that would take me days to figure out. Then I was going to break it down into genre, with 5 or 10 songs in each list. Then I just kind of gave up and this is what I got, from most current songs I'm liking to less current.

Songity- Song Songs:

1. Hotel Expressionism - The Streets: Mike of The Street's music really feeds into my whole British obsession that I've got going lately. Plus, it's fun to sing along to and fake an accent.

2. Backyard Betty - Spank Bank: I've mentioned this song countless times before, but the beat on this song is awesome. It's fast without being spastic, and their flows are interesting without being complicated. It's kind of dirty too. Who doesn't like dirty?!

3. Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too - Say Anything: When my friend Adam drove me and my roomate to the bars, he put this song on. I was immediately obsessed. And drunk.

4. Streetcar - Funeral For A Friend: D Money makes me these amazing punk rock mix CDs and makes me feel cool again. I pumped myself up for my Calculus final with this one at 7:00am. Needless to say, I got a B. Damnit.

5. Go Go Gadget Gospel - Gnarls Barkley: Gnarls is good. I know the whole "being obsessed with Gnarls Barkley" thing is kind of two months ago, however, this is just a good song.
6. Taxi Driver - Gym Class Heroes: I had a conversation with my roomate Michelle about how I like Gym Class Heroes' music and how I think that they have really funny songs and good beats and good flows. However, I felt that I couldn't like him because the reason why the dude became famous was because GCH was discovered by Fall Out Boy. Mich then proceeded to tell me to stop being such a snob.

7. Parade - Pretty Girls Make Graves: I used to be positively obsessed with PGMG. Crazy, listen to them every day, make my roomate go crazy, obsessed. When I saw them like, two years ago, they announced that they would be coming out with a new CD. I was so excited but when I got it earlier this year, I was a little disappointed. Regardless, this song is still pretty good in a unique little PGMG way.

8. Step Into My Office, Baby - Belle and Sebastian: Belle and Sebastien are severly underrated. They started out as a class project, I think, and morphed into this sensitive, talented indie band. I highly suggest you check them out.

9. I Ain't Sayin' My Goodbyes - Tom Vek: Good song. Free iTunes download. Enough said.

10. Don't Say A Word - Liam and Me: This is one of those bands that I stumbled upon who are just really, really good. Their whole CD is good, which is something to be said. A big criteria of whether or not I'll like a band is if they can put together a whole CD and I won't get bored.

11. Paralyzed - Rock Kills Kid: This is just a good, dancey rock song. "Sing into a hairbrush" good.

12. Romulus - Sufjan Stevens: Sufjan Stevens, admittedly, is weird -- weird in a good way. He's kind of hit or miss sometimes, but this song is spot on.

13. Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks - The Rapture: For a while during the school year, Mac and I were obsessed with the movie "The Rules of Attraction." This song plays backwards and then forwards in one scene, and features the kind of drum rhythym that I fucking love.

14. '93 Till Infinity - Souls of Mischief: When I went to Arizona for spring break, and Ashton flipped his 4 Runner with me in it, and then it snowed like 2 feet, and then we just sat inside and drank a lot, we listened to this song. On repeat.

15. Bullet and a Target - Citizen Cope: Citizen Cope will forever remind me of Mac. We used to listen to them, and then talk about them, and then listen to them again. We had to stop listening to them, however, when Mac's roomate Robert played the shit out of them and ruined the band for Mac forever. R.I.P. Citizen Cope.

16. Twin Cinema - The New Pornographers : This is just another one of those ultra-indie songs that I like that no one else does.

17. Power Out - The Arcade Fire: The Arcade Fire rocks my socks. Not only are they an amazing band, but they sing some of their songs in French. Triple word score!

18. When You Heard You - The French Kicks: Catchy. The end.

19. Over You - Acceptance: This song was a house favorite around the time when we went to Aspen. It's one of those songs you can crank up and rock the fuck out to. Which we did. A lot.

20. Stay With You - John Legend: I know that he was nominated for a Grammy, or won one, or whatever, but this song is just simple and beautiful.

21. The Space Between - Valencia: Yet another D Money Wonder Song.

22. Carry Me Ohio - Sun Kil Moon: I've mentioned this song before. It's slow and haunting, and speaks of... love lost, or something. Oh! Shiny things!

23. Of Angels and Angles - The Decemberists: Shit, ya almost lost me there. I'm getting so squirmy and antsy in my desk chair. This song is also slow and I can ALMOST play it on my guitar. Almost. I love The Decemberists because they don't just sing about looooove and sadnessssss and things of that nature. They make up stories and characters and tell them through songs.

Oh my god. That was the longest it has ever taken me to write a post. I hope at least one of you read down to here. So anyways, I have to get ready for work...

I love you, darlings.

Good Bloggie.

You're Welcome.

Whoever thought a ninja could be so damn awesome?!

Hopeful Hands.

The beginning of college seems so long ago. I was thinking today about how exciting it was to move into the dorms and basically start this whole new life. Even though I went to a school in the same town as I grew up, I didn't really keep many friends around from high school that went here too. Most of my friends, like myself, wanted to get out of Fort Collins... I just, sadly, didn't get the chance. Anyways, I just remember freshman year being this insane time. I feel like I've changed so much since then. I feel so much older now, it's very weird. I remember how I went through my whole "teenage rebellion" stage a few years too late (because of the iron fist that was my mother) and dressed all punk rock and went to at least one show a week and made tons of scene friends. I haven't been to a show in god knows how long... "freshman me" would look at "five-year-plan me" and sigh. It pisses me off though, because I used to be so fucking awesome, and lately I've been feeling like a pretty boring person. I should dust off my black Converse All Stars and starting screaming along to songs again.

Hmm, what to talk about, what to talk about. Oh! Maybe this:

Legions of 20-25 year old girls (and boys) are emitting "NO WAY?!?!" around the world. It's funny, what do you think is going to come out in five years about the celebrities that we adore now? I, admittedly, was an N'SYNC fan, singing harmonies in the back seat of my step-mother's Explorer with my step-brother and sister. I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- I never said I was cool. Hah... Anyways, it's crazy and pretty interesting, but I mean, come on. I think the cover of the magazine should have read, "Lance Bass Comes Out" or something more tasteful instead of "I'M GAY!!!!!!" ... I guess "I Enjoy the Company of Men More Than Women. Sorry." wouldn't sell magazines. I mean, people come out of the closet all the time. Does it really deserve a cover every time?

(I'd like to add for the record that I didn't add the pink smiley face onto the People cover. I got it off of another blog which is maintainted by a very "out" guy. )

I have to worst fucking celebrity dreams. The other night I had a dream with Kevin Bacon in it. Kevin Bacon! Every time his Hanes commercial comes on I want to scream, "WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE KEVIN BACON, HANES?!" But I don't because the neighbors are already worried. A few months ago I had a dream that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was my boyfriend. Yeah, the fat, blond guy who plays a creep in every movie he's ever been in. I seriously, try as I might, cannot have a dream where Johnathan Rhys-Meyers passes me on the street but I get Capote as my boyfriend? Hardly fair... damn you, brain.

I taught myself Johnny Cash's version of Tom Petty's song "Won't Back Down" on my guitar today... I don't actually suck as much anymore. It's pretty exciting.

Ok, I've run out of things to talk about, so I'm going to go stick to my couch and eat a popsicle.

Smashing Mosquitos.

This heat is messing with me. I've been laying around my house lately just sticking to my couch, too lazy to venture out into the heat yet too hot to do anything but lie there in a puddle of my own sweat. It's not that gross, but it's damn close. Our lawn is completely dead now -- if we didn't live in a neighborhood full of drunk college kids, we would totally be the trashpile of the community. I think there's a Natural Light box and a dried up, shredded newspaper in the front yard, along with a Bud Light bottle shatterd by fireworks on the 4th of July and miscellaneous cigarette butts. I'm making it sound like our house is a shithole, which it isn't exactly, it's just insane that we live like this. Well, insane and so gloooorious at the same time.

I mentioned in earlier posts that I was trying to stop drinking so much, as it was depleting my bank account and trashing my liver, but my resolve to drink excessively was renewed today while I was at work. Lil' John's "Snap Ya Fingazzzzz" (or whatever the fuck the title of that song is) was on in the back and as I was doing something I muttered to my manager that hearing the song made me want to get drunk, because it's played at the bars all the time. He looked at me and was like, "Yeah, I was talking to the owner and he mentioned all of the employee's excessive drinking, and yours was the first name to come up." Fucking seriously? I was so pissed that I busted out an, "EXCUUUUUUUUUSE ME for having a life!" It was that bad -- I usually save drawing out vowels like that for when I'm really mad. I mean... I make sandwiches part-time, what more do you expect?!
(Do you think that's when you know you drink too much? You come in hungover to work most of the time and you still don't think you drink too much? Damnit. I refuse to believe it. Shit! There I go. Damnit!)

At the same time, I think it's what I'm supposed to be doing. I know people who go on week-long drinking binges for the hell of it. I have friends who pride themselves on blacking out on most weeknights. I don't think I'm doing half bad.

My birthday is in less than 4 weeks! I'll finally be real 21! My roomates asked me if the bars had lost their appeal, since I've been able to go to them for a few months now, and I told them that they definitely wouldn't. I'm such a cautious, paranoid person (even when I'm intoxicated) that going to the bars here is a scary, yet awesome experience. I still can't believe I'll be able to go out in NYC. God, I'm unbelievably excited.

I saw the trailer for Snakes on a Plane for the first time in the movie theatre on Sunday. I clapped. People stared.

Mark, I haven't given up on your idea, I'm just going to devote a whole post to it.

I forgot!

As of my last post, which I put up a few minutes ago, Good Bloggie had 705 views! 705! That's huge.

I know I say this often, but not often enough. I love you, baby.

Now be a dear and fetch me my slippers.

So good...

This is why I love Pajiba.

From a review of Clerks II:

"I could write about Kevin Smith and his contributions to both film history and the careers of Mewes, Affleck, and Jason Lee for another 2,000 words, and I no doubt would, if not for the need to review Clerks II. And what of the sequel? Well, to put it in terms a Kevin Smith fan might readily understand, the original Clerks was the equivalent of a cinematic cherry-popping. It was ugly, awkward, a bit uncomfortable, and at times tried a little too hard, but it felt so goddamn good that you could overlook its imperfections. Clerks II, on the other hand, feels more like your 10th time: The thrusting is more rhythmic, it’s more artistically adept, prettier, more fluid and self-aware, and very nearly as amusing as the original, but the allure and mystery is gone; that overriding sense of discovery is lost. But, really, 10th time or first: you’re still getting laid and, while the lust may have faded a bit, adoration and affection have sprung in its place."

Freaking hilarious. I aspire to write the way the people on the site do.

Nothing much to write about today, I'll make a better post when someone (or myself) does something stupid.

TMNT?!?!?!?!

Holy crap. Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.

Waiting for me in my Facebook inbox was this little gem from my friend Mark:



As I was watching it I shrieked with glee so loud my cat ran out of the room. Teenage Mutant Ninja Fucking Turtles. Can you think of anything so representative of our lives as kids? They better not mess this one up by trying to make it too awesome. I mean, they're turtles who eat pizza and live in the sewer with a giant rat. The awesome is almost overpowering.
Thanks Mark!

So I don't know who out of you watched last season's Laguna Beach (that was a joke, because even my mom knew about that damned show) but there is a really interesting Wikipedia article on the real lives of some of the characters. Cedric, apparently, is gay, something that could have made the show actually interesting and real, but was evidently totally glossed over. I talk shit, but really I could tell you exactly what each episode entailed and who said what about who. Also, Jason seemed to have problems with substances:
"He had been caught driving under the influence of alcohol twice before the age of 18. He also had to briefly leave high school at one point to attend rehab for cocaine use. Some critics believed that his erratic behaviour on the show was due to his use of illicit substances, although this has never been confirmed. Jason failed his last semester of high school and decided not to make up the courses and graduate."
Even I graduated high school and made it into college, which, if you knew me in high school, was no small feat. I don't know, I guess every group of friends has their secrets. I just think it's funny that MTV missed the opportunity to air everyone's dirty laundry to order to get better ratings which is amazing in itself. I guess it doesn't matter what's on MTV, people will still watch it. Case in point: Yo Momma. Seriously.

In the same vein, here's a picture of the filming of this season's Laguna Beach. Looks like a huge production for the final product of obviously manufactured drama.
Oh, hey, anyone want to watch The Hills with me on DVR? I can't believe what Jason is doing to LC... Oh. God damnit.



AAA! I'm so sick of the photo uploader not working. I guess I just post at the same time as everyone else. I put it in my Webshots but that is also not cooperating... You'll have to click on the picture to see it.

Ok kiddies, I'm going to go get together with a few comrades and drink a beer or two.
Ok, you know me better than that... I'm going to get hammered. Until next time.

This is Just A Good Song.

Enjoy.

London what?!

I always try to be on top of things, especially music, and today is no exception. Here's Fergie's new video "London Bridge." I'm both disturbed and amazed at it; amazed that Fergie only looks like a man in some angles and disturbed that this is her single. I can wear high heels and yell angry anti-paparrazi lyrics into a microphone too. I just don't because, well, when seventeen record companies came banging down my door I said, "No! I'd rather be a college student who is just a blip on the map instead of a multi-million dollar recording star. And plus, I can't pee my pants in front of hundreds of people."




So there's that. I don't necessarily like it but I'm sure I'll download it and bounce around my room singing into a hairbrush to it at some point in the near future.

MOTHA FUCKIN SNAKES ON A PLANE! It just can't get here fast enough. I read an article that said that there will be no press screenings of the film.
"In a move that will be shocking to about 14 people (most of them under the age of nine), New Line announced last night that they will not be screening Snakes on a Plane for critics. Can you believe it? A totally buzz-driven film that is going to make money even if it sucks, not be pre-screened. Stunning news, huh? The best thing about the announcement is that the studio is spinning their decision as a sign of their love for fans, rather than their hatred of critics and everything they stand for. To wit: "Understanding that [fans] would be the driving force behind the film, we decided early on they should be the first to see it."Aw. Isn't that sweet? It's nothing to do with the fact that they're afraid critics won't like the movie, and might have the balls to harsh the whole country's SOAP buzz right before the movie comes out."
Source: Cinematical

I actually think it's fine... I know it's not going to be an amazing, pensive movie. It's going to be some motha fuckin' snakes on a motha fuckin' plane, and that's very, very, exciting to me.

To make up for the Fergie video and the Justin Timberlake one I posted the other day, here's Matt Pond PA performing "From Debris", yet another one of their songs which make me want to die with happiness for no good reason. If you really love me you'll watch it.




God damnit, I know I've already posted two videos on this post, but I was just surfing through YouTube (something that I can do for hours upon hours) and came upon the trailer for "Le Science des Reves" aka "The Science of Sleep." (This is mystifying to me because "les Reves" are actually dreams, so literally translated, it should be "The Science of Dreams.") This movie, when I first saw the trailer, piqued my interest because it was in French, and since I get to use my French so little, I wanted to see it. Well, this trailer that I just found seems to be in English and I can't tell if the film is actually in English and I saw the French trailer for it, or if the film is in French and the English version is just dubbed. You decide for yourself.

"The Science of Sleep"



"Le Science des Reves"



I honestly cannot tell. I think it's in English though, and dubbed in French. Oh well. I love how the English trailer is all lilting and happy and the French one is dark and mysterious.

I got paid yesterday so what am I going to do? Go shopping. YAY!
If you read all the way to here, I love you dearly.
Au revoir.

Fort Collins: #1

Mac just alerted me to the fact that Fort Collins was just named the number one city to live in in the United States by CNN and Money magazine. That's nuts. Remember that post I wrote a while back about how I was starting to actually like Fort Collins? Well I guess other people do too.

Ok, well I have to go pack for my mom's and then go to work.

"I'm Just Droppin' the Kids Off at the Pool"

Hahhahahahahhahahhah....

Only Charmin can make jokes like this. Watch this commercial and laugh.

http://www.alittlebitrude.co.uk/

Thanks David!

Go Shorty...

I'm going to make this a short post, because for the next week I'm going to be house-sitting for my mom and step-dad, and am probably going to be incredibly bored. My mom stocked the beer fridge and told me to go "moderately crazy." What on earth does that mean?! Maybe I shouldn't bring the keg shell over. Just kidding. I'll cancel the stripper and midget too.

So remember when Pete Coors was running for senate on an ultra-conservative platform? Remember when everyone supported him just because he was a local celebrity? Remember how he didn't like gay marriage, that whole deal? That was a deal breaker for me and my liberal views. I think everyone deserves the right to get married. Anyways, screw Pete Coors. Sorry, Republican friends.
The reason I bring him up is because he got in a little bit of trouble over the weekend. How much trouble? Well, DUI trouble:
Coors, 59, said he had consumed a beer about 30 minutes before leaving a wedding, the Rocky Mountain News reported Saturday. He faces a July 20 arraignment and has 30 days to appeal the revocation.
"I made a mistake. I should have planned ahead for a ride," Coors said in a statement. "For years, I've advocated the responsible use of our company's products."
Coors' spokeswoman, Kabira Hatland, said Coors was charged with driving while under the influence. Coors' lawyer, Steve Higgens, did not immediately return a call seeking comment.
Hatland said that Coors rolled through a stop sign a block from his home in Golden and that an officer stopped him in his driveway.
Hahahahahhaha. That's awesome. I remember when Mac told me about the time when he asked Pete Coors in a really crowded auditorium if Keystone Light was just the ass of Coors Light. It was funny. Trust me.

If it's even possible, I found a fairly well-written article on Paris Hilton that presents her as a normal person. I've always found it easier to make fun of her than like her, as opposed to, say, Nicole Ritchie, who would use all of her 98 pounds to efficiently kick my ass. Which is awesome. If you're into reading, more importantly, into reading about Paris, then here you go:
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,18030-2261083,00.html

I always like posting the URLs of fellow bloggers, and this blog, https://kittyxcomplains.blogspot.com/ is pretty awesome. I love, love, love reading about other people's lives, seeing as I'm usually too irresponsibly drunk to have one of my own.

Ok, I know I'm going to lose all of my pseudo-indie-punk rock credibility from here on out, but I just cannot get Justin Timberlake's new song out of my freaking head. So here it is. Sorry.



So David and I drove down to Boulder to see A Scanner Darkly. It was fucking nuts. They shot the movie and then animated over it, which really lent to its surreal, drug-laced feel. I just can't describe the movie without giving things away... apparently it's in limited release and that's why we had to go to Boulder to see it. If it ends up being released in Fort Collins then you should all definitely go see it.

Who wants to buy me a Marc Jacobs stam bag? Anyone? Anyone? Pleeeeease?!

Ok, enough whining. Gonna go eat.

AAAAAAA!

I fucked it up, my template, and now I'm struggling to fix it. I'm a fucking disaster in html. I don't have time to fix it, but I will soon.... sorry darlings.

....

As you may have guessed from the lack of postings on my blog, I've run out of things to say. Not completely, just as of right now.

I'm going to change the color scheme on here, I just haven't decided to what yet. Black and white? Black with blue? I'm also trying to figure out how to but a banner up as my title... thingie. Does anyone know how to do that? Hopefully I'll have it figured out by the time you read this. More posting to come soon...

I'm Not Sure If That's What Rowboats Are For.

Sometimes I wonder if Lindsay Lohan realizes the crazy crap she does on a daily basis. I'm sure that in her head, "this blowjob scene will do wonders for my career," seemed really rational at the time, but come on. It's getting too easy. I'm just going to let the picture do all the speaking, because Lindsay's mouth is obviously too busy to do so.

Hooligans...

The other night we watched "Green Street Hooligans," and after getting past our initial hesitation because the word "hooligans" was in the title, we actually enjoyed it. It was a movie about a guy who gets wrongfully kicked out of Harvard two months shy of graduation. He picks up and goes to England, where his sister is living. He meets his brother-in-law's brother (would that still be his brother-in-law?) who is involved in a "firm" (which is really a gang) that suppports the West Ham United football team. The word "support" is used loosely here. Basically, they beat the shit out of other team's firms with no or very little reason. It gets alot more complicated than that, but I'm not going to ruin it for you. It was a really good movie and totally fed into this England obsession that I've got going lately. Anyone want to buy me a plane ticket?

...Bites the Dust...

I love how The Real World has begun to typecast their cast members. The flamboyant gay guy, and attractive muscled frat guy, the token back guy or girl, the hot girl, and the "one with all the problems." Apparently, not having eaten for two years will gain you a spot on the prestigious fishbowl that is MTV's most notorious reality show.

Paula from Key West, best known for her drunken outbursts ("KISS MY ASS") and toothpick arms has been arrested. Arrested for what, you ask? Biting her boyfriend. Yes, they busted her for biting someone. I think that when you're a pseudo-celebrity like the RW cast members always end up being, you should try to, erm, keep your teeth in your mouth, otherwise something small like this could end up on Yahoo News. That's just me though.

You Must Be This Tall... to DIE!

Last night we went to Potts to play beer pong, and Caroline and I forwent our usual stellar playing style in lieu of a shittier, less awesome one. In short... we sucked. Oh well, doesn't mean we still didn't get drunk and have a good time.

I have that fucking "Cool TAK" song stuck in my head. If you don't know who Tak is, go to YouTube and search him. I would post his awesome music video on here but the owner of it doesn't allow embedding and I don't feel like going back to look for the link. It's so much better to have stuck in your head than the "You Are a Pirate" song that I had up a few days ago. I had that song going around and around in my head for a good 4 hours on Sunday. Why? Because I watched it before I went to work. Cause it's that good. And I'm that fucking cool.

Ever wonder what the most common brand names dropped in rap songs are? Well get ready, because I'm going to tell you. Some people actually took the time to wade through the other lyrics to search for these things:

10. AK-47, 33 mentions
9. (tie) Cristal, 35 mentions
9. (tie) Louis Vuitton, 35 mentions
7. Chevrolet (really?), 40 mentions
6. Hennessy, 44 mentions
5. Rolls Royce, 46 mentions
4. Bentley, 51 mentions
3. Cadillac, 62 mentions
2. Nike, 63 mentions
1. Mercedes-Benz, 100 mentions

Interesting. Wonder how many times they dropped my name. Well, damnit, Whitney Houston's name, maybe. I'll never get out of that bitch's shadow! Actually, there's a Kanye song where he spells "W-h-i-t", which is exciting enough for me.

Think Snakes on a Plane is ridiculous? How about Sharks.... on a Rollercoaster?

Or....

The horror!!!!

"She's Got the Angles"

I'm devoting an entire post for this video because it's so, so, so good. I've had it on my MySpace for a while but it's just too awesome not to share.

MYSPACE: THE MOVIE

God bless the internet.

Pirates?

God, I can't believe it's Saturday and I didn't post at all yesterday; I was too busy with the napping and the presenting and the working and then the excessive drinking to be bothered to post. I wasn't in good form. Erm.... sorry.

So I saw Pirates of the Carribean on Thursday night (or Friday morning, whichever way you look at it) and I was decidedly torn when I left the theatre. It had action, yes, and it had drama, yes, but it was ...lacking... something, and I haven't decided what yet. All in all, though, it was entertaing, and I'm sure I'll see it again and most likely see the third. Who am I kidding? Of course I'll see the third. I'm too big of a dork not to.
I figure there's no use in writing up a huge review because a) I don't have the patience, and b) everyone and their mom is going to go see it anyways, so I suppose you can draw your own damned conclusions.

I haven't been getting very many hours at work lately, which would be alright if I smoked a lot of pot, but seeing as I don't, I'm trying to keep myself entertained. I don't have enough money to go anywhere or do anything because I'm not getting enough hours! Damnit. I've been drinking too much lately. It's burning through my savings but with no one home I always want to go somewhere else, and that always turns out to be a bar. Oh well. I could be doing crack. No one wants me doing crack, do they?!

And now for my favorite game: Make Fun of Lindsay Lohan!!!

This picture is pretty self explanitory. Outdoors. High kick. Put them together and you have number 7 on the list of "What Not to Do In Public" or, for that matter, "In a Bikini". And that's only number 7.

(I love how when I go through my folders to put pictures up I just have like 8 pictures of Lindsay Lohan looking stupid. What has my life been reduced to?!)

I'm going to leave you with this:

David: dude
David: on our night of drunken debauchery
David: we should do shots that are ON FIRE
David: that's how I roll
David: but seriously
David: lets do it
David: dont be a chiclet

And thus explains my life.

AD3?!

Yay! Arrested Development Season 3 is set to come out August 29th, which is fairly exciting even though I have most of the episodes on my computer. It's about time I heard "Mister F." echoing out of my t.v. again. God... I love that show.








I'll post a complete post about my pirate experience but now I have to go "give a presentation" which may or may not include me shaking, stuttering, and saying "um" far too many times... I, erm, don't really know my part of it. Damnit.

You Are A...???

So guess what I'm doing tonight? That's right:



You watch that video and see if you can tell. You just do it. DO IT! Yarrrr.

And this little nugget made me laugh so hard, if you read my post from yesterday, you'll enjoy this picture:

In case you hate me, and not watching the video might be your way of expressing that, I'm seeing Pirates of the Carribean at 12:20 tonight. Good thing I have a presentation tomorrow. Holy shit! My last day of class!!! YAAAAY!!!

Your Celebrity Gossip for Today...

I hope everyone had a splendid 4th of July!

Is a Lost movie in the works?
"Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof has revealed that he is considering making a film based on the hit television series.Concerned about pressures to prolong the show's success for as long as possible, the makers hope to focus on maintaining the quality of the series over a shorter period of time. Lindelof told WENN: "We'd love to end the show after four year, five years tops and do a movie." "
Holy crap, a Lost movie would be awesome! However, with the way that they leave the viewers hanging at the end of each episode, I don't know how much good a movie could do. Do they really expect to have 4 or 5 more years of cliffhangers and then a movie?! I think that's crazy talk.

Tyra Banks is apparently shunning Photoshop for her future photo spreads. She says that she will be "relying only on makeup and hair extensions." Um... isn't that still, like... cheating? If you're going to say no to retouching, shouldn't you say no to everything? I don't know if anyone saw a picture of her mustache, but it was frightening. Girlfriend needs to take care of that before she decides to go "Hollywood Au Naturale."



Lindsay Lohan somehow got Life & Style Magazine to foot the bill for her 20th birthday party -- 100 freakin' grand in all. They paid for the party in order to get "exclusive birthday photos" which seemed to include Lindsay looking high and eating a cake with her own face on it. I dunno, I mean, last year my 20th birthday included some of my friends standing around my kitchen and drinking beer. That was it. I love how it's her 20th birthday and she probably used it as an excuse to get wasted (not like she doesn't do that on days ending in "y" anyways.) I'm sure the L&S photographers who were following her around were thinking "God, get your tongue out of that guy's throat! ... Put that bottle down!.... Open your eyes!.... Jesus christ this is impossible."

Is it me or is Mischa Barton impossibly awkward? Whenever I see a picture of her, she is always hunched over, wearing the flattest shoes possible, and trying desperately to look sexy. I did a Google search to see what her height is, since she is always doing the "tall-girl-slouch". Each estimate ranged between 5'7" and 5'9"... which isn't that tall. I'm 5'8" and even though I'm sometimes the tallest girl in the room, I usually don't feel that gigantic.

ARGH!!!!! There is something wrong with Blogger's photo uploader, so no one can see all of my pictures of Lindsay eating her own face! Quelle tragedie. Oh well, if the uploader starts working, I'll throw the pictures back in there.

Yesterday was a blast! Mich and I didn't think that we were going to have anything to do, with all of our roomates out of town and all. We ended up bbqing beer brats with Adam and Aaron and casually drinking beers. Aaron introduced this game to us called "drug dealer" which was where a King, Ace, and a few other cards are dealt out. The King is the cop and the Ace is the dealer. The object of the game is for the drug dealer to look around the table and make a deal with one of the other players. If the dealer winks at the cop, they have to take a drink -- or, in our case, a swig of strawberry Pucker. Eugh. As more people started showing up to our house, we added a Narc (who also looks for the wink and can make a deal with the cop.) After playing drug dealer for a few hours and becoming quite intoxicated, we decided to walk to Wendys and ate there. We finally made it to City Park around 8:45 or 9, where we sat and enjoyed the fireworks. Since Mich and I had been drinking for around 8 or 9 hours, we decided to make it an early night. I forgot my camera so I couldn't take any pictures, but I assure you, they would have been good.

Hrmph.

Ok. Here it is... the long ass post you've been waiting for:

There was something on B3ta.com about how Hugo Boss designed and made uniforms for the Nazis during WWII. That's insane. It also said that they probably used forced labor. Could you imagine? Actually.... that's probably no different from the overseas labor who make shirts in sweatshops. Bah. I guess they checked it out on Wikipedia, and it said he rumor is true. Who knew?

I love Wikipedia... I've been doing random searches on shit, like Nick Drake's life story. It's interesting the wealth of information you can find that other people know. I felt kind of stupid --(well, maybe I shouldn't have, seeing as I'm not english) -- I was listening to the newer Streets record and couldn't figure what "pranging out" meant. I looked it up in Urban Dictionary and it said that it was what we would call "freaking out" or, (in the context that he uses it) wigging out on coke. So now you know. Prang away, buggers.

So I wrote a post a while back about a blog called "How To Write Screenplays. Badly." Not only does this site have slightly more relevance to me now that I'm supposed to writing a brillant screenplay for David to direct, (daunting, so daunting) but it's just damned funny. Check out this excerpt from a section on following up after you send out a script.

"MR. X:(speaking to someone else) Marla? Did any scripts come in from a...a Slater?
(listens)
Oh God, seriously? It's that guy?
(into phone)
Hey, are you the guy who used a magic marker to draw a cartoon bear on the cover...?
ME: ...raping, yeah. That's kind of what he does.
MR. X: (muffled laughter, followed by several seconds of excited whispering)
Mr. Slater? You're on speakerphone. Could you please tell us all a little more about, um, your unique concept?
ME: You mean Rapebear, the bear that rapes?

Oh my god, it is uproariously funny. I love it. Here's the rest of the post:
http://jerslater.blogspot.com/2006/06/on-follow-up-calls.html

Whoa. You know when grandpas spend months building ships in bottles? What if you could squeeze a cat in there. It might look like this:




Yet another thing from B3ta: a joke.

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed."
"Oh NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion???"

Hahaha... good stuff. I'm excited for the 4th... well... no one is really in town. So we'll see how that goes. Hopefully I'll have pictures to post of shiny things and... stuff.

I got my hair cut and colored today! It was the first time in my life that I had ever dyed my hair. It's only a shade darker but I really, really like it. Yay.

Fuck! I keep trying to post pics of it and it's not happening. I'll post some later, I guess.

Nighty.

Oh, and also... 519 views as of 1:45am Tuesday! Woo hoo!

Poor Bloggie...

This little gem is what I found waiting for me on my instant messenger this morning:

"Mac: what happens when people don't update their blogs as much as they used too? Do all blogs go to heaven?"

So classic! And to answer your question, Mac, no. Not this bloggie.

The Devil Wears...

My roomates and I just got back from seeing The Devil Wears Prada. It was sort of disastrous, with Mich not getting off of work until 25 minutes after the movie had started. As a result, we had to sit in the front row. My neck hurts from tilting it while watching blobbie thingies talk about Oscar De la Renta and Gucci. I seriously felt like I listened to the whole movie instead of watching it. Oh well, it was cute. I just finished the book a few days ago, and the movie wrapped itself up much nicer than the book did. I guess that's Hollywood for you!

This weekend was D Money's birthday... I had so much fun! I couldn't believe how awesome bar hopping was... we went to quite a few places. It was a really good time.

I'm pretty tired from being too ridiculous this weekend so I'm going to make this a short post. I'll post something longer tomorrow!