THE REAL SHAQ

You guys, Shaq's Twitter is solid gold.

http://twitter.com/THE_REAL_SHAQ

"On my way to oklahoma city, gettin ready to send 2 million lbs of peanut butta to africa"
-- Shaquille O'Neal, 2k8

I'm Crazy

I don't know how many of you have noticed the "I'm Crazy" tag at the end of my posts, but it's certainly applicable to this one. There was an email chain going between a few of my friends and I, and it led to me creating and sending this picture.

This was the context:

"Anyone have any good songs to add to the Christmas playlist?"

Me: "If “All I want for Christmas is you” by Mariah Carey plays I will start fork stabbing people.

And now I know that’ll be #1 on the playlist, super. "

"Can you spell repeat?"

Me: "you don’t even know the unbridled rage that comes out of me when this song comes on."

And then this:

"Heres the playlist so far

Ugly Christmas Sweater/Housewarming Party Playlist

1) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
2) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
3) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
4) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
5) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
6) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
7) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
8) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
9) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
10) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
11) Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
12) The Isley Brothers - Shout"

Aren't they sweet?

(Oh, and that's me dressed up as a zombie, I don't...usually look like that...)

"Audrina Sure Says F--k A Lot"

I've been meaning to write about these Hills recaps for a while now -- wait! Before you scroll down, which your finger is inevitably poised to do right now because come on, it's The Hills and who cares, you have to give these recaps a chance. I've stopped watching the show in favor of reading these things, because they're so witty and insightful and amazing. Like, take this line for instance:

Otherwise... Holly. Spencer. Fight. Holly. Heidi. Fight. Heidi. Spencer. Not really a fight, just a resigned and defeated admission that Spencer will never do anything right or be a good person. The details are too grim and stupid and repetitive to go into, just know that Heidi no longer has her office, just a sad little cubicle and that, when told he is a bad person by Holly, Spencer made a small quiet lost and bewildered face. Just for a moment you could see the dim glimmer of humanity sparking beneath his skin, but then the electricity was sucked back in by that Inland Empire power plant and the lights went out in Spencer again.

You guys, it's so amazing. Seriously. Read them all.

Oh, and here's this from the most recent episode. It's like 20 seconds long, so watch it or else.